The day you left…
Seems long gone by
But I find myself still standing there
Waiting for you turn back and steal that one look
Eyes seem to have dried and look dead
There are no tears, there is no pain
These are eyes, which no longer know what it is to dream
Your fragrance still lingers around
But the flowers no longer bloom
It s a long road alright but know not where it goes
Its like life has gone out of life
As a soul leaves the body
But the body is left behind
It does not want to die though its not alive
The memories fade away
Memories of joy, memories of hope
Looking back seems empty wish
Far away voices scream
Go away go away
I will never be able to dream…
2006-06-10 00:45:56 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
I love the first verse, it gives me a picture of loss and deep emotion, but , to me, the next verses lose me, I think the first verse can stand alone, but I think its cool that you write poetry...
2006-06-10 00:49:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
ill give you 7.5/10. Seems like you've suffered the wounds of love. If you have, please forget it. Just chill out n move on with life.
Hanso, jiyo, muskurao, kya pata kal ho na ho. Never regret anything that made you smile. But continue writing
you are a good poet, very imaginative. your poetry comes very much from your heart. But you still need to be little more innovative and real. Thoda aur wazan lao shayari mein.
2006-06-10 01:12:57 · answer #2 · answered by teenindia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
8. It is a good poem (It's like life has gone out of life) but still too many cliches (But the flowers no longer bloom). You have a feeling that the poem is heartfelt, real. Keep up the good work!
2006-06-10 00:54:10 · answer #3 · answered by Lotte T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On a scale from 1-10
I will give it a 5
2006-06-10 00:48:56 · answer #4 · answered by Gabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
C+
2006-06-10 00:48:32 · answer #5 · answered by romadgo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ohh what happened?
i like this and :o) if you wrote it good on you!
*ggl* when i first read it i feel like "oh this guy needs a hug"
2006-06-10 00:48:44 · answer #6 · answered by >< fighting! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋