My daughter and husband are constantly arguing about everything. He is not her biological father but has raised her since she was 6 mos old. She has never met her real father, and only began speaking to him on the phone when she was 12. (They've only talked 4 times in 2 yrs.) My husband loves her to death but they seem to have the same attitude..the I am always right and you are always wrong attitude. How can I keep them at bay? I've tried keeping them in separate rooms but it doesn't help. Oh, and they both are at fault for the fights, it's not one picking on the other. Please help me keep my sanity! Thank you in advance.
2006-06-08 18:59:39 · 7 answers · asked by Amy S 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
You mention them having the same attitude, and that right there is the catalyst. My husband and my 13-year-old son butt heads constantly. I swear they'd argue about what color the dang sky is! I've taken to saying in a sing-song voice "Why are we arguing over stupid stuff that makes no difference in life as we know it" or, if I've really had it...I have occasionally shouted, while glaring at my husband, "Will ONE of you PLEASE be the adult for awhile?!"
In all seriousness, I've talked it over with my husband and one of those above sayings helps to nudge him a little bit and make him realize he's doing it again, and for the most part even when I'm really frustrated it's all done in a good-natured fashion.
Teenagers argue, and they think they know everything. That doesn't make arguing with a parent okay, but it's certainly understandable behavior. I'd definitely try talking it over with your husband, because as the adult he needs to not descend to that level.
If all else fails...video or tape record them while they're going at it...and then play it back for them. =)
2006-06-09 06:05:05 · answer #1 · answered by circe 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well i suggest you sit with them on a table and discuss this matter. Both of them are wrong and probably hurting your feelings because you are in the middle and love them both. I think your daughter has to understand that she has to respect your husband no matter if his not her real father he has supported you both and has been there. Also i think his wrong because he should take care of the situations in a better way not go head to head with your daughter. She is only 14 years old and usually kids that age are a little ignorant.They usually live in the you are ruining my life stage so its a little difficult but with a little communication and love i think things will get better and your family will be stronger and closer
2006-06-08 19:14:04 · answer #2 · answered by rvd_whatever3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be perfectly honest with you, I was like that at 14. I'm not saying that it is because she is a teenager. It's just because she wants space and does not want to tell your husband what is on his mind. Well, thats what it was for me. I have a stepdad as well and when I was that age I always argued with him because I thought that he knew nothing about me. Then all of a sudden everything changed. I now get on with him really well and wish that he was my real dad. When I see me real dad however, I still act like a 12 year old. Mainly because I don't talk to him and when I do we have nothing to say to one another (and because he lives on the other side of the world) Just give it time and it will sort itsef out.
2006-06-08 19:09:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your husband should understand that she is a teen and he should not be fighting w/ her since his is the older person. 14 is an age were they think they are always right and everyone else is wrong.
2006-06-08 19:14:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with kc
your husband ought to mind his manners basically
and not descend to squabbling with a 14 year old.
your daughter needs him to be a quiet and stabilising influence in her life. it's wrong that he's always in her face.
2006-06-08 22:29:55 · answer #5 · answered by leadbelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be honest theres not much u can do but it may help if he doesnt do anything but listen and give suggestions to what she has to say and this may warm her up to him a little at least it will open the door to let her know that he is willing to listen without always being against her.
2006-06-08 19:04:24 · answer #6 · answered by jeremy12341 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hopefully as your daughter gets older she will me mature and see that fighting isn't the answer.
2006-06-08 19:31:53 · answer #7 · answered by Emma Joe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋