2006-06-08 17:54:33 · 59 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have 4 children with this man and no stable income.
2006-06-08 18:03:01 · update #1
YES, YES, AND YES!!! I was with someone for 21 years and he cheated for almost the whole time. Once I got up the courage and money, I left him, divorced him, and eventually got someone new--someone that loves, respects, and cherishes me the way I deserve to be treated. :) It feels totally great to have someone put me on a pedestal and treat me with the love and respect I totally deserve. We all deserve to be treated this way. So, I believe that if I can do it after 21 years of total crap (he was also a drug user/abuser, mental abuser, liar, etc, etc), then anyone can do it.
2006-06-08 18:04:00 · answer #1 · answered by honey 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you asking this? Do you like to feel degraded? or that you're only second best? You're better then that. You can see that he obviously doesn't care enough about you if he's been cheating on you for 14 years. Plus he doesn't have a stability in his income...that's even more of a reason not to stay. I hope you make the right decision. Take care.
2006-06-22 08:28:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart!!!! There are ways to get out of a TOXIC and potentially dangerous to your physical health situation! I have three teen boys and 2 years ago I found out after 14 years of marriage that my husband was not only cheating on me but was also paying her bills and taking multiple women on road trips to Florida and Missouri and etc...
I finally said "NO MORE ABUSE" It is extreme repeated mental cruelty in the state of Illinois. I was doing fine with a little help from the state and family and as I sit here now I am finally able to provide for my kids and not having to rely on the state. I am going back to school and I have a decent job. As soon as I graduate, I am going to work for an accounting firm. YOU CAN DO IT! If not for your well being... for your children's .
2006-06-21 13:47:26 · answer #3 · answered by Bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to stay with a liar and a cheat...HELLO... Throw the bum out. He has to pay child support. There are programs to help you with the children and their needs. Get training or a job. Work around the children's school hours. The STUD will have to have health insurance for you and the children. Talk with a lawyer (some offer a free consultation). Contact the family court for advice. Please have yourself tested for any disease he may have brought home. Good luck to you. You can make this work if you try.
2006-06-21 13:23:12 · answer #4 · answered by Nunya B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No divorece, certainly not. How will u support 4 children and urself without any stable income. besides, how on earh, u came to know of his cheating after 14 years? there is a limit to which a female can trust a guy. Stay with him, and extract his juice as much as u can. good luck. My sympathies with you.
2006-06-22 06:53:36 · answer #5 · answered by mann54 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the possibilities are that if you dont have a stable income, he is more likely to have the children... that he might live with the other woman then... yes, he could support the kids instead but you most be independent yourself.
Yes, a marriage where someone cheats, hurts the other end... and it is quite long already, 14 years then.
if you have talked, confronted and have tried every ways to save the marriage, the hurt in the family... then why stay with him and reduce yourself to that unfavorable hurt situation where there is a possibility that you might find someone or live alone with your kids, happily without him then.
2006-06-08 18:14:33 · answer #6 · answered by crissimayo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is kind of up to you, isn't it. However, the question is, "Can you trust him to keep his word in the future?" Don't make a knee jerk reaction answer to this. You need to dwell on the question for awhile, maybe a few weeks, before you answer it. Divorce isn't the end of the world. I've been there and know that it's not. If you know that you can't trust him anymore, then you need to separate and get it over with. If you're convinced that you can patch things up and he will reform and change his ways, then you have a possibility for a future together. My feeling is though that, since he's been getting away with it for fourteen years, it won't be long before he'll start trying, at least, to get away with it again.
Good luck.
2006-06-08 18:04:10 · answer #7 · answered by quietwalker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is up tp you, 14 years is alot of time to throw away. You guys need to talk and find out what he wants now, and decide whether you can "forgive and forget".
People make mistakes all the time, but it's whether they choose to learn from the mistakes, or just ignore what they could learn from them.
The old adage once a cheat always a cheat I don't believe, people can change, but it takes alot of communication and being able to work through your differences.
Ask him why? If he cannot give you an answer...tell him you need one so that you can heal to make this work, if you still love him.
If not...take your kids and walk away, it's no good for you or your kids if you aren't happy. And we all know...life is too short to be miserable.
2006-06-08 18:28:47 · answer #8 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it's hard when there is children involved. Maybe you should think about having an open marriage. Let him do what he wants as long a s he is being safe and uses protection and you do the same. Just don't bring it in your home. If you love each other you will work it out.
2006-06-22 08:37:34 · answer #9 · answered by Melissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can live with wondering where he is at when he's 5 minutes late, if you can live with wondering if he has somebody else when he leaves the house, if you can live with wondering if he's lying to you when he tells you something serious, if you can live with a person who so disrespected you that he put his penis in another woman, if you can live with a person who has no problem being dishonest for over 14 years... if you can live with all this and more, then NO don't divorce him.
TX Guy
2006-06-08 18:32:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋