i want to know if anybody would stay with a liar, a husband who always put everybody else first?

Question

i been married with my husband, and i've never feel like i trusted him cause i always had dream he talking to girlz behind my back. he always denied it, i believed him. but i was right he was lying the girl called and said can she speak to him. i ask her who she was, she said a friend. i got mad so i was like im hes wife he never told me he had a girl- friend. she was like well im his x-girlfriend he been calling me all the time we just friend. before we got married he lied in the past but he begged for forgiveness,and i did forgive him i thought he would'nt lie again. now i feel like i don't want to stay cause i stop loving him since then but everytime i pack my stuff to leave he hold me back by beggin and crying and i always fall for that crap. he said he wont lie anymore he would make me fall in love with him, it never happen. everytime i try kiss, have sex with him all that comes in my mind is that he disrespect me by talked to hes x-girl behind my back. i don't what to do g

Answer 1

My first question is , if you felt you could Never trust him 100% why did you marry this man? Was it convenience? Get out, tell him its over your moving on blah blah blah.. I know its not that easy, trust me I know.. You know the old saying "been there, done that". Right now he's abusing your relationship, playing on your emotions, he knows how to get at you. Don't allow him, stand your ground. Your not happy there is no reason to continue this with him. Ask your friends for help or family.If that's not possible look into your local women's help shelter, there is help out there to get out of situations like this. If your unhappy there is NO reason to stay Hun.

Answer 2

I was married to a man for years I could not trust, and I have sworn to never do it again. Now I see the signs fairly early in a relationship and end it quickly. With the exception of God and your children, your spouse should always come first. I always put my husband first, but he never did the same for me. Life is way too short to stay in that kind of relationship. Breaking away and leaving is hard, and the first few months away from him will not be easy, but in the end you will really be happier. It takes a while, but once you get a real life, you will never want him back!!!!!!

Answer 3

He will never stop lying to you. It is a disease just like alcoholism is a disease. I know this to be true because I had a wife and a girlfriend who were compulsive liars and a professional counselor told me so. They live to lie and they have to lie to live. They can not change even though they may want to. I loved these two gals very very much. I put up with their lies for that reason. But eventually I had enough, just like you will someday, and I had to break it off. It just kept getting worse and worse. You will know what I mean in time. It hurts like hell for a special loved one to lie to us, but it does happen. The sooner you get rid of him the sooner you will get over him and move on in your life. I wish that I had some good news for you but I don't...........

Answer 4

It's easy for any of us to sit here and say that we wouldn't have stayed as long as you when truth be known a great many of the women answering questions on here have found themselves in your position at one time or another. The trick is in learning your own self-worth and realizing enough is enough. I understand that when we love someone we want to believe they are sorry when they hurt or wrong us. So we forgive, hoping that it doesn't happen again. Many times it doesn't, our partners have learned their lesson and don't repeat their hurtful behavior. Sorry to say that is not such in your case.

You already realize this. You already realize that you are falling into a pattern of being wronged and "forgiving" but unable to forget. There is no reason you should have to forget...and there is no reason that you should be put into a constant position to "forgive". It's true that love hurts sometimes however I am finding it to be unneccasarily so in your case.

Your eyes are no longer closed to the truth of your situation and as hateful as this may sound, you have no one to blame but yourself from this point on if you continue to allow this behavior. It's time to find your self-worth and realize HE just isn't worth it anymore. Go and make your own life without the person who makes you feel as though it may not be possible.

Answer 5

you know your situation is somewhat similar to mine. I fall out of love with my husband after i caught him having an affair with a GRO. Aside from that, he even squandered the money and some of the jewelries my mom and dad gave me as a gift during our wedding. He was accessible to all these due to our joint account.
We have not been on speaking terms for almost 15 yrs. or so now. We no longer do things that husband and wife normally do. We are in a "i don't give a damn what you do" situation. But would you believe we still live under one roof with our two children?
Because of his infidelity, i found it so hard to forgive him. The money and jewelries he stole no longer matter to me, but my trust for him can no longer be restored.
I planned many times to leave him, taking with me my children. But all these plans never materialized due to fianancial problems. I can withstand the miseries and hardships that i would have to faced once i go, but how about my children? I simply don't want them to suffer because of my problem. So no matter how hard it is for me physically and emotionally, i decided to stay. But as i had mentioned, we no longer talk. It's as if we are living in two different worlds. I am glad my two children are already accustomed to our situation. I also don't hide or keep our problems from them .
So whether to stay or leave your husband is your decision. Weigh things and make the right choice. I can feel what you are feeling now. It takes time for wound to heal, but let's face it, to forget it is not an easy thing to do. Good Luck!
.

Answer 6

He's already set the pattern, he's not going to change. I learned a good lesson from an elderly lady many years ago, she told me to watch what they do instead of listening to what they say. They can talk a real good story...build themselves up real well...but when it comes down to it, their actions will speak much LOUDER than their words. Never trust a liar or a thief...they will always turn on you and the best thing for you to do is pick up your self respect off of the floor and get on with your life. You don't NEED a person in your life like that...unless that's the kind of life you want to continue with. Me personally, I'd want better for myself and my family...start teaching the kids young to respect themselves and others. Never settle for less...because thats exactly what you will get...less than you deserve.

Answer 7

Sorry, but I would bust up laughing to see a man cry and beg like that. Then I would walk out that door and the best I could do is give him a box of kleenexes. He can't say I never gave him anything. But then again since he's a liar, he would probably tell people I NEVER gave him those kleenexes, he had to go buy them himself.

Answer 8

You know what to do the thing is you are scared to move forward. Read what you just wrote switch the roles and pretend it is yor best friend, sister, daughter, in your position. What would you tell them? YOU NEED TO LEAVE CHANGE YOUR NUMBER DON'T LOOK BACK. THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE AND DON'T LOWER YOURSELF AND YOUR STANDARDS BY TAKING HIM BACK OR EVEN ASSOCIATING WITH HIM.(of course he going to do the crying act you are the one thatkeeps taking him back nobody puts up with that) It is up to you wether your strong enough to leave him. anybody and everybody in their right mind is going to tell you the same thing your feeling in your gut right now but only you can make the choice. You deserve better. GOOD luck

Answer 9

I was married to a man who told me at least "she" understood him and would talk to him. This was in our 3rd year of marriage. after having moved 2 times and with a 2 year old child.He told me he had to talk to his former secretary everyday because she was willing to type his resumes....his phone calls also included personal problems she was having with boyfriends....and who knows what else....I stayed married to him for the next 13 years and finally had enough. He was always flirting and having conversations with other women....and I was an afterthought...I divorced him....you probably should too..

Answer 10

Thats just like my situation, except my husband didn't talk to his ex girl, he talked to other girls behind my back, but not like a deep conversation, because they were all s*uts, so they come and go, but he always tell me that he didn't cheat on me, and sometimes i believe him, because when i left him one time, he cried in front of his older brother because no one would let him come pick me up, and it was in the middle of the night. So i trust him when he says he loves me. But i hope he loves me enough not to cheat on me, plus he says hes not that kind of guy, but i think he just likes to flirt alot.