Why is it so hard to be bi? (Bi girl in the dance world)?

Question

I know a girl (who is a close friend of mine) that is bisexual. People have given her grief on both sides, straight and lesbian/gay. She is a very complex person who thinks a lot, so it should not be a shock that she is open-minded in this area as well. But I know it hurts her sometimes that people don't understand bi girls, and think she'll make out with some girl in front of guys for kicks which is so not true. If she is with a guy then she is with him, and if she is with a girl then she is with her. Even the dance world has been hard for her (and she is a lovely and graceful dancer) because she is a bi girl. Talk about a double standard for guys and girls, ballet baby. What should I do to help her feel better? Where can she go to feel accepted and loved?

Answer 1

Tell her, she shouldn't worry about what others think about her, they dont live in her body so it shouldn't matter, I know this world can be so damn cruel, as long as she loves herself and knows that she can be a strong person without letting others get to her, she will do just fine, its not what others think about her because that dont matter. It's what she does that comfortable to her and what she thinks is the right choice, and that is what matters...

Answer 2

I would go with what the first person said, find bisexual friends. Its hard to say without knowing where your friend lives, but some places have bisexual support groups if it is really hard. I don't know much about the dance world (besides that it gave me ex roommate an eating disorder) but in order to be bi and survive in this world, she'll have to learn to stop caring what other people think. It's hard, but you have to be strong inside yourself because often no one else is going to do it for you.

Answer 3

Stuff like that always amazes me. People are people. It always shocks me that anyone who knows what it's like to be the odd person out would do that to anyone else.

Tell her that those people that do that to her are not worth her time anyways. There is no one place she can go to be accepted....as someone suggested tell her to try to find other bi-sexual ppl who of course would not alienate her. But tell her to also keep in mind that there are gay, lesbian and straight people who are not narrrow, don;t rule out friendship with them because of some bad experiences. Real friends are hard to find anyways. You weed through them to find the ones worth having...of ANY race, ethniticty, religon, sexuality etc.

Answer 4

this is a tough one. i've experienced it myself. i've heard gay ppl say we (besexual ppl) should "choose one side or the other and stop straddling the fence! bisexual ppl think they can have their cake and eat it too!"

what good is having cake if you can't eat it? lol

seriously, though, this is the burdon those of us who are open-minded must carry. not everyone will understand, but there's a place for us in this world. the best and only thing you can really do is just be there for her and support her.

i promise - where ever she lives, there's a group of ppl just like her. she just needs to find them. i found a group in houston, via yahoo groups and it's so much like home to me now. maybe you could help her look for a group where she lives.

if there's anything i can do to help, just gimme a holler!

good luck, sweetie!

Answer 5

She is not a member of the straight crowd because she is "into girls" and she is not a member of the lesbian crowd because she is into guys... she needs to meet some other bi friends and be herself!

susan

Answer 6

She sounds like me. Just be there for her and tell of the lozers who are being mean.