he usually wants his feet to be tickled when he goes to sleep and i do it, until he falls asleep. i know this is not right, what should i do? He's totally healthy, and he also has good grades in school. please give me some adive.
2006-06-08 15:50:53 · 29 answers · asked by joanna104 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
There's nothing wrong with feet tickling unless you don't like doing it.
2006-06-08 15:53:47 · answer #1 · answered by Ray 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some kids has a security blanket that they drag with them everywhere they go with their thumb in their mouth. I have a nephew that did that for a few yrs. He finally grew up and grew out of it. Don't worry, he will be fine. That is probably the way you use to put him asleep as a toddler on up. It's more soothing and a habit to him. All you have got to do is stop doing it! It will take him a while to get use to not having that routine done to his feet because that is a relaxer for him but he will survive. It may be like winging a baby off of his bottle, or winging someone off of cigarettes, or a addict from his addictions but he will live! Good luck.
2006-06-08 16:01:47 · answer #2 · answered by rosie24501 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's great that he still lets you tickle him. I would guess that there's a really good relationship there. Enjoy it while it lasts. we have a 14 year old and he wants to be tickled too occasionally. He makes good grades and communicates with us very well. I don't know why you don't think it's right unless the physical closeness is uncomfortable to you.
2006-06-08 15:57:20 · answer #3 · answered by TN Seeker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you call it scratching rather than tickling? I have a 12 year old grand-daughter who loves to be scratched on her ankles and feet. There is nothing wrong with it. It's called touching and affection and God gave us that ability to do that at any age. When you stop touching,.hugging, kissing, and scratching or even tickling, something is wrong with the relationship.
2006-06-08 16:08:14 · answer #4 · answered by buffoon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably should have stopped doing that about five years ago at least. Not that it's really wrong or anything. It's just that it sounds like he depends on it. Now that he's older, it will be harder for him to learn to go to sleep without his parent there at the foot of his bed. He needs to learn to feel perfectly comfortable falling asleep on his own. The longer you wait, the harder it will be for him. Think of what's really good for him in the long run. You shouldn't spoil your children.
2006-06-08 15:58:33 · answer #5 · answered by roselegend 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HON, I think this has gone on for long enough.
I was married at 16 years old for goodness sakes..
Do you think any other woman on this planet is gonna tickle his feet??
You need to let him grow up and become a man. It is your job to raise your children to become adults ready to take care of their young..
He is way to old for MOMMY to be playing footsie games with..
PLEASE, you are not doing him any favors by mot being an adult and letting him learn and grow and do things for his self.
What if he is drafted into the Army? DO you think the Sergeant is gonna play footsie games with him??
You already know that it isn`t right or you wouldn`t have asked..
I wish you luck and God bless. {:-)
<><
2006-06-08 15:58:30 · answer #6 · answered by jaantoo1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems to be more than just an affectionate gesture for you both. i think you may "need" to do this more than his liking it. to me it seems to be a symptom of separation anxiety and that's unhealthy. to be in attendance to a 14 year old until he goes to sleep is indicative of this. our children must grow up and we as parents cannot stunt their natural growth because we may feel we are protecting or ensuring their development.
this intimatcy is undermining his independence as a person. while his grades are good and he is in fine physical health, emotionally and psychologically he is not. and neither are you. you know instinctively you have some serious problems. get yourself some help and rethink how you parent your son. counseling can help you identify your specific issues. your son may need counseling also, but not necessarily. do not continue, to passively transfer your issues or fears to your son.
you are a good parent because you recognize that something is wrong. get help before it is too late.
2006-06-08 20:30:27 · answer #7 · answered by formerlylunesta@yahoo.com 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is this confusing? If this is a habit that you have kept up since he was a child, it is obviously one that is close to his heart and is comforting. If he likes it and you want to, why not? When he moves out someday he's going to remember how his mother used to tickle him until he went to sleep. That is unbelievably sweet, though slightly unusual...
2006-06-08 15:53:43 · answer #8 · answered by Susie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is like one of those kids who still love their parents and don't want to let go of things that they find relaxing and content. I'm not exactly a parent, but I know that if I were to always want my mom to do that to me-which I never would-, she would be the happiest mom on earth. So there is nothing wrong with it, I bet most moms would loved to have a child like that because it makes them feel like that their parenting is worth while and that the child isn't taking them for granted.
2006-06-08 15:57:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it sounds like you like it a bit to much and he certainly is getting more from it then you would want him to. Stop it. There is something not right about this, and he may have issues about it. You should defiantly speak to his doctor and let her know, because it likely has some type of sexual implications.
2006-06-08 15:53:40 · answer #10 · answered by annie red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋