How long is too long?

Question

How long is too long for my 4 month old to sit in his crib and cry. I want him to start falling asleep without me rocking him or helping...but how long should I let him cry?

Answer 1

I'm glad you want him to go to sleep alone. Do you want him to walk this week, too?

Babies will do everything *when they are developmentally ready*. You *may* be able to force him to reach certain milestones before he is ready, but it is *not* in his best interest!!

Crying alone causes the release of cortisol, a stress hormone, even *after* he stops crying. So calories he needs for growth and development instead go to managing stress. (In other words, you are *literally* taking food out of his mouth!!) In addition, it teaches him that when he is totally dependent, the people who love him the most won't respond when he needs you. In other words, it's not good for him physically, emotionally, or psychologically. No, it *probably* won't do any permanent damage, but why risk it?!

Answer 2

I also have a 4 month old daughter. I would make sure that he's not hungry and put him to bed awake. Let him lye there for 5 min. If he's crying, go back and rub his tummy, but don't talk or pick him up. This is just to reasure him. Leave, and come back every 5 - 10 min and do the same thing until he falls asleep. The important thing is that he knows that he's not abandoned. He's not in pain or anything like that, he's just resisting going to sleep. It's hard to hear them upset, but he will learn to fall asleep on his own. Please don't let him just cry for long periods without reassuring him. I think that's kindof mean. God Bless. I hope this helps

Answer 3

4 months may be a little young to let him cry, but it varies with each child. As the parent, you are in the best position to know if he's ready. So trust your instincts instead of random people on Yahoo Answers that you've never met.

I used "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr Ferber. A lot of people don't like the Feber method because it involves letting your child cry. He recommends that you decide how long you will let your baby cry. If 2 minutes of crying is all you can take -start with that. After 2 minutes go in and comfort your baby for about 3 minutes without picking him up. Leave the room again. Add 2 more minutes to your waiting time before returning. Repeat the process each time adding 2 minutes to how long you let him cry. If he sounds like he's calming down or might be asleep, don't go in. It doesn't last that long and after 2-3 nights, you'll notice a big difference.

I liked this method because I could still go in and comfort him. He knew I hadn't abandoned him. But he also learned to fall asleep without me. I think we started with three minutes. I think that Dr Ferber recommends the method for babies older than 6-9 months. Although he does talk about his experiences with younger babies in the book.

Good luck. In the long run you will be doing both you and your baby a favor by teaching him to fall asleep without you.

Answer 4

If you feed, him changed, him made sure he isn't in any pain,then he wont hurt him to cry a Little.He will cry for a long time at first but He will get tired and fall asleep. Try giving him a bath with some bed time bath wash before you put him to bed it will relax him and you might have better luck getting him to fall asleep. It doesn't make you a bad mother to let him cry. I know it hurts you to hear him cry, but how long do you want to be rocking him to sleep, I'm sure you getting tired by now. Good luck hun, I know it's hard.

Answer 5

I have a 4, 3 and 1 years old kids and sometimes we have to rocking them. I think now is too early to let him sleep by himself ( I know it is hard for you). I started with mines at 6 months and I let them fall asleep by himself putting them in my bed and then taking them to their crib. Now most of the time they fall asleep by them self but sometimes they need help(with the rocking chair)

Answer 6

I know what you mean. I had a hard time as well trying to get my 5 month old to sleep. Sometimes I would let him cry out for 5 minutes before I would go in and see him.

I found a trick that works for him though. I take a shirt that I wore the day before and put it in his crib while he tries to go to sleep. Since babies at this age really know your smell, it comforts them to think that you're still be them. Try it, can't hurt!

Answer 7

I agree with mpoppapump .
If you have a baby swing set, that works miracles and they don't get too attached to it because they end up growing too big for it. But there's nothing like a mothers warm touch to fall asleep to, especially when they have been crying for a long time,The longest I have let my girls cry is about 1hr 1/2, I always ended up rocking them. It's comforting for them when you finally show up after such a long time,

Answer 8

It depends on how long you can hold out. Most babies will stop crying after awhile and either cry themselves to sleep or give up. In my experience, the parent tends to give up sooner.

I tried this when my son was 4 months, but I realized that he'd only be that small for a little while and what if I never get that opportunity to hold another child of mine at that age.

In the end, its all a personal decision. It may be harder later to sleep on his own, but he may also benefit from the increased bonding with you.

Answer 9

Don't let some of these answers make you feel bad....It s totally OK for you to try and put your baby on a schedule. I wouldn't let the baby cry for more the 5 minutes or so (I bet that seems like an eternity to a baby) but I would consult a Pediatrician.

****I give my son a bath before bed, it helps him sleep better***

Answer 10

Talk to your son's pediatrician. They will be able to give you the best answer. There are lots of books out about babies and sleeping. It is a good idea to start as early as possible to get him to go to sleep on his own. Try to be consistent with whatever you choose. Don't let him cry until he vomits, but it won't hurt to allow him to cry and try to calm himself. Eventually, it will work. It may take a month, but it will be well worth it. Good luck!

Answer 11

Parenting may be a bumpy road for most parents. Knowing when too much is well, too much is a very hard subject to approach. Usually let a baby cry about 5 minutes before you go and check on it.