i want to stay friends with him because we have 2 children but he is constantly asking me to go back to him and gets angry when i say no i have tried to explain that i don't love him anymore but he doesn't seem to get it i am 25 and he is 35 but he is acting like a child how do i remain friends with him when he keeps doing this?
2006-06-08 14:23:44 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have not slept with him for months before i broke up with him i haven't given him any false hopes and have stood firm when i say no on the front he thinks i look like a cold b*tch but when no-one is around i feel run down and tired
2006-06-08 14:44:54 · update #1
I read in a book a long time ago that there is three types of personalities; adult, parent, child. Your ex has a dominant child while you have a dominant parent. Try getting together with a counselor who has training in explaining things to people who do not listen and/or get mad. Maybe he or she can explain the new rules to your ex. But do not avoid him as the kids need a dad. Just need to help dad grow up! Don't try to do it by yourself. Just puts you in danger when he gets angry.
2006-06-08 14:30:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You cannot be his friend under these circumstances.
You have got to quit talking to him. Cut him off so he can realize its over. After that, at some point you may bump into him months later and find its ok to have a friendship, but he doesn't really believe its over and you aren't doing him any favors by talking. If he wants to be in contact with the kids fine.
I personally put in a second phone number for him to call the kids.
That was the only way he got the message.
Also you can arrange for a public place to pick up and drop off the kids.
Trust me its best for you the kids and him to get the point across that its really over, and your not going to do that staying in contact with him.
2006-06-08 21:28:05 · answer #2 · answered by yeller 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have two kids together, and u tell him u dint love him, i think the reason he is acting like a child, is because u are the child, why do u think that u can have kids with someone and turn the relationship on or off like a light switch, its seems that he thought more of u than u did him, u younger generation of people never will never learn, or care enough about eachother to make a relationship work
2006-06-08 22:43:54 · answer #3 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to befriends --- you're adults , be cordial and respectful --- Stop explaining --- it's sounds like you're encouraging him with this friendship stuff and you see where it's gotten you --- he's a lovesick puppy --- retain a modest distance and let the voicemail or answering machine take his calls (get Caller ID if you don't have it already). ... keep conversations to a minimum and they should be about the kids --- that's it..... no trips down memory lane - if that starts just leave - don't respond. Have a friend(s) with you when he comes around - don't make yourself look lonely.
2006-06-08 21:42:12 · answer #4 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop the friendship for a while have someone else there when he picks up the kids. If he values the friendship and you ignore him for a while he will be happy to see you as a friend in the future. If he cant stop you have to end the friendship. And only take up business about the kids and ignore everything else. (quit sleeping with him if you are)
2006-06-08 21:36:34 · answer #5 · answered by joeyscorpse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wall i think it is time for hem to grow up and get a life. and i think he thinks he cant find any one else. He is scared . and + hes 35 and u are 25 and what 35 year man wouldn't fight to stay with a 25 year old woman.
2006-06-08 22:07:25 · answer #6 · answered by crdt27 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wont be able to be his friend because he wants more than that. You need to just look at him as the father of the 2 kids that you have and nothing more.
2006-06-08 21:35:21 · answer #7 · answered by James B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop talking to him for a while on the phone or in person. Why do you not love him any more? Why dont you want to go back to him? You may want to make it final if you dont plan on ever going back to him and let him go by divorcing him! He has to stop bugging you though!
2006-06-08 21:31:16 · answer #8 · answered by Fast Steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't sound like its possible to remain friends. Start dating and get another boy friend.
2006-06-08 21:27:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't be friends, just friendly for the sake of the kids. Maybe because he doesn't have closure in your break-up???
2006-06-08 21:30:22 · answer #10 · answered by carolscreation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋