I'm so confused ...... Republicans are running the country .. but all those Republicans are so friggin' stupid it's hard to believe .... so how am i going to get to be stupid enough to be a republican? the republicans sure seem like they are having a good time ..... i want to have a good time too .....
2006-06-08 13:53:18 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Other - Politics & Government
this might help:
Rules for being a Republican
1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you are millionaire conservative radio jock, which makes it an "illness" and needs our prayers for your "recovery".
2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
3. You have to believe that the US should get out of the UN, and that our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.
4. You have to believe that government should stay out of people's lives but it needs to punish anyone caught having private sex with the "wrong" gender.
5. You have to believe that pollution is ok, so long as it makes a profit.
6. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
7. "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.
8. You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but that large multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind with no regulation whatsoever.
9. You have to believe that you love Jesus and Jesus loves you, and that Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and Hillary Clinton.
10. You hate the ACLU for representing convicted felons, but they owed it to the country to bail out Oliver North.
11. You have to believe that the best way to encourage military morale is to praise the troops overseas while cutting their VA benefits.
12. You believe that group sex and drug use are degenerate sins that can only be purged by running for governor of California as a Republican.
13. You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.
14. You have to believe that the best way to fight terrorism is to alienate our allies and then demand their cooperation and money.
15. You have to believe that government medicine is wrong and that HMO's and insurance companies only have your best interests at heart.
16. You have to believe that providing health care to all Iraqis is sound government policy but providing health care to all Americans is socialism personified.
17. You believe that tobacco's link to cancer and global warming are "junk science", but Creationism should be taught in schools.
18. You have to believe that waging war with no exit strategy was wrong in Vietnam but right in Iraq.
19. You have to believe that Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney was doing business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
20. You believe that government should restrict itself to just the powers named in the Constitution, which includes banning gay marriages and censoring the internet.
21. You have to believe that the public has a right to know about the adulterous affairs of Democrats, while those of Republicans are a "private matter".
22. You have to believe that the public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades but that Bush was right to censor those 28 pages from the Congressional 9/11 report because you just can't handle the truth.
23. You support state rights, which means Ashcroft telling states what locally passed voter initiatives he will allow them to have.
24. You have to believe that what Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest but what Bush did decades later is "stale news" and "irrelevant".
25. You have to believe that trade with Cuba is wrong because it is communist, but trading with China and Vietnam is good business.
2006-06-08 13:56:43 · answer #1 · answered by parshooter 5 · 7⤊ 4⤋
Isn't it interesting how you NEVER see this kind of question from a Republican bashing Democrats this way? Maybe, if they are running the country like you say, they know something you don't? Maybe they're just different and not stupid. That's what you Democrats are all about, right? Diversity. Maybe Republicans are too busy getting college degrees and working 60 hours a week to post such moronic questions. Grow up.
2006-06-08 21:13:25 · answer #2 · answered by Captain Obvious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will need:
84 Permanent markers
68 Dry erase markers
24lbs. Marijuana
900 kilo. Cocaine
17 Black suits
2 Gray suits
1 Red tie
6 Liters of Bacardi 151
start by sniffing every permanent marker until it runs dry, down 1 liter of 151. then put on one Black dress suit and the red tie.
finish all of the 151 mix slowly all 24lbs. of marijuana with all 900kilo. cocaine, then smoke.. and ENJOY! your high will wear off in about 6-15 mos. and after that voi la! you now have the mental capacity to become a republican.
use the rest of your suits as desired too look the part! (if you can remember..)
2006-06-08 21:05:30 · answer #3 · answered by Fluffington Cuddlebutts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all ignore everyone saying that you are stupid....they are republicans and are jealous of your intellegence
Start off by acting like George Bush...... stutter every time you start to talk, don't ever directly answer a question, never tell the truth, when in doubt blame someone else, mispronounce all of your words(even America...Bush pronounces it something like Amereca), basically act like you've never been educated!
Great Question!
2006-06-08 21:27:21 · answer #4 · answered by pulmonaryft 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just grow up and make a ton of money, your view will change. You won't want to give it back, so you will vote Republican so they can protect your interest, Money. Then you will use the ruse of religion to make yourself feel better, all the while being a complete hypocrite. Yeaaaa Republicans!!! Wonderful answer Parshooter!
2006-06-08 21:00:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing stupid is thinking either party is better than the other. One pres. cheats in the white house. Another pres. cheats by the white house. Net result; all the people get hosed. Try looking past the smoke and mirrors of political parties, and see with your eyes what is really going on.
2006-06-08 22:15:05 · answer #6 · answered by calgal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After reading your post I've concluded you're much to stupid to be a Republican but you are the perfect candidate to register as a democrat.
2006-06-08 20:56:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be born into a Oil Rich Family
2006-06-08 21:27:00 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RePUBICans need to follow someone ... like sheep in a flock. I did a poll today asking who was Dem and Rep ... and then who had a degree.
Just as I imagined, the majority of RePUBICans are barely eduated ... thus, they will believe anything they are told.
(See my questions)
2006-06-09 19:53:07 · answer #9 · answered by kentata 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow and whoever said this palce is a place of equality needs to read comments like that. youd think we could pick ppl that would do our contry the best not pick by thier frigin political party
2006-06-08 20:58:11 · answer #10 · answered by nikki A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be "stupid enough"? For starters writing an ignorant question like that!!!!
Moron!
2006-06-08 20:55:51 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋