Any advice for single parent going back to college full time and working?

Question

I am going back to school full time to pursue my dream of being a geologist while I still can. I am 34 and am a single mother with not much of a support system in my area. I am a little afraid but think of women who have beat the odds with more then even one child and know I am focused and can do it. Does anyone have any advice to make this easier?

Answer 1

Good for you! I started college for the first time when I was thirty and my son was two. I filed for divorce six weeks into my first semester.
My family was in Ohio and I was in TN. The first semester was the hardest!

I discovered that a good babysitter (even if its your ex's parents) are real life savers! I was able to work part time on campus, and take full time classes.

As for advice - take classes that interest you any time you need a general elective. Don't take it for any other reason if its not part of your major. Even if you know nothing about the subject, if its something that you might be interested in and its a general elective category that you need, take it.

As soon as you get your assignment begin working on it. Even if its not due for several weeks. Most professors will accept an assignment turned in early and its better to get it done while you have plenty of time rather than waiting and having things come up in your personal life that will just stress you out.

If a subject that you have a weakness in (for me it was math and the hard sciences), if its offered in the summer, take it as a summer course. Summer classes usually meet every day so you don't have any distractions from one class meeting to the next and can stay focused. Plus they are usually only six weeks rather than eighteen weeks so you get done with it that much faster!

If you can handle a full course load every semester and summers you can finish your degree in about three years or a little more.

Once you get towards the end of the degree, with only four or so semesters left, talk to your department head or advisor about getting credit for learning something off campus that relates to your degree. I volunteered at a Suicide Crisis hotline and was given credits for that. I also volunteered at my son's head start and was given credits for that.

I hope you find college to be a wonderful rewarding experience. And be sure to take time for yourself as well as time that is just for you and your child. (I tried to give my son one Saturday every few weeks where we did what he wanted, no school or other distractions).

Answer 2

Having just graduated, I can tell you from experience, you are going to have to involve your child. Let him do "homework" with you. You should also make sure to look into what the college may offer in terms of support. Many colleges will have links to day cares or babysitters if needed.
Give up on the idea of the house being presentable. Settle for sanitary.
If you have a paper due in 3 days and you haven't started yet, your child will get sick. You will have to complete as much work as possible ahead of time. This is out of necessity and will make the entire experience much easier.
Be sure to enlist the help of friends and co-workers. Although you may not have much of a support staff, they can still help quiz you during lunch.
This is a very tough thing to do, but well worth the effort. It will not only improve your job skills, but also show your child what a person can do when they put their mind to something.

Answer 3

I went back to school to do a masters when I was 32 years old, single mom, two kids aged 7 and 9. We looked at it as an adventure. We didn't have a lot of money but I made a point of doing things with the girls often - we went to lots of free stuff - university towns usually have many options. We did have a car, so we did lots of driving trips as often as we could to explore.

Check on your campus for a "mature students" club. Many schools have a lounge and study area just for mature students, and many also have a club or support group for single parents. Some schools make arrangements to offer employment to single parents. I had fellowships from the university both years I worked on my masters - I chose to take two years to complete it - that was easier on everyone than trying to finish in one year. You will probably be able to find some work within your faculty.

Find lots of groups for your child to join - scouts, sports, gymnastics, whatever makes sense. That will give him/her a sense of belonging and connection. If you need to use a day care for after school hours try to find one used by other kids at the same school your child attends. If you are at all religious, join a church - it will give that extra connection to the community for both you and your child.

Pay attention to what is happening to your child in school. I found out the hard way that the kids of students in small university towns are sometimes considered the lowest of the low by the local population, so watch for that.

One of the things I did was pick one night a week to pull "all nighters" which was how I kept up with the work. I picked Tuesday or Wednesday nights - no particular reason that I can remembver , but it seemed to work. Probably because the next day was the one with the lightest class load.

Stay organized, and use a calendar to record when assignments are due. Start working on all assignments as soon as they are assigned. Never, never, never, put them off, because as you know with kids anything can happen.

As much as possible make your child part of your university life. Bring him/her to appropriate events and introduce him/her to other students, faculty, as the occasions arise. That will help the other students and the staff to better understand you.

I hope these thoughts help. If I think of anything else I will add it. Good luck and enjoy your adventure.

Answer 4

My advice is to..well..you have to be able to give up a few things. You have to give up on the dream of the house in a perfectly clean state. Also, you have to take care of yourself. Make sure you have some social outlet..and some alone time.
Try to spend your time when you are with your kids..and make it as meaningful as possible. Plan simple art projects, and going out for a family meal. The kids will want to spend time with their mom.
And..good luck. It's hard..but worth it in the end. Imagine graduation..your kids in attendance..watching how hard their mom worked for a goal. What a fine example you are!

Answer 5

Get over thinking your house will ever be perfect. Make sure your child understands how important this goal is for you. Set your boundaries for your friends and family. You WILL make sacrifices- time, money, etc.

Academically, you need to make sure you don't take on too much and try to be superwoman. You need to make realistic goals. You need to be available for class, whether it is an online or f2f class. Make SURE you understand the terms of the courses, cut-offs for dropping, penalties for failing and be sure you understand the terms of ANY financial aid you receive, including loans. Do NOT be afraid to ask questions-- this is YOUR education and you have a right to understand- you are in essence the customer--- and you have a right to know and be comfortable in your community of learning. Best of luck to you!