2006-06-08 13:28:52 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well i am in a simaliar situation. But my husband ended up getting arrested (which they say is one of the three things that will happen to an alcoholic that doesnt get help, prison, institution, or death) and at first I was so confused and upset, didnt know which way was up. Then after a few months, I started realizing how less stressful life was, without the common everyday drama. THEN after a couple more months, I started really enjoying my life, and finally realized I can live alone, I am still alive and happy. And also that I could focus on my own self for the first time in years.. Now my husband is back, same drama as before but now, I had a taste of a half way normal life and now I want it back... I hope this helps a little. Sometimes I think that we get so caught up in everyday life, with the addict that we don't realize we have better choices we could choose. Also the confidence to actually leave, even though a hectic life, a life that is a norm for us... Good luck. And try Alanon.. It is very important for our recovery "recovery from allowing our anxiety ridden, control freaky husbands to walk all over us"
2006-06-08 15:39:49 · answer #1 · answered by horselover 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Because you feel you have no where to go. You can't visualise yourself anywhere but here with him. You don't dream big. You think that without him you are worse off or no better. You think that you are not able to find yourself another man because you are not good enough. You are afraid of shaking the status quo. Change is difficult and it takes more effort to leave and start over than to remain. You are afraid that those who know you will look down on you if they know you are no longer married. You probably don't have a job so you are not financially independent. And finally you may not love yourself enough to end or stop what he is doing to you by leaving.
2006-06-08 13:38:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because he is your husband, and you have this hope inside of you that things could change. But chances are that if he hasn't gotten or will not get help for all of this it is only gonna get worse. Get yourself out before it is to late, there are places you can go that can protect you and ensure that you are safe. I am not suggesting that anything violent has happened but for the sake of yourself and your kids (if you have any) get out now and think of yourself first! Alcoholism is a disease and he needs intervention.... do it!
2006-06-08 13:33:04 · answer #3 · answered by micheypoo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you're scared to be independent and not controlled by a man. Probably a result of your childhood. Also, you have some control in the marriage because you're enabling this man to control you...get it? Best to get out before you waste your life with this guy.
2006-06-08 13:35:01 · answer #4 · answered by rosecitylady 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because you think you can fix him. Bottom line is, you can't. He has to want to do it and do it himself. Don't enable him by staying. It won't get better until he stops drinking. I've come from a long line of alcoholics, so I've seen it all. Best of luck to you.
2006-06-08 18:32:12 · answer #5 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with co dependency. Maybe even a pinch of martyrdom. Some women just love being miserable.
2006-06-08 13:37:38 · answer #6 · answered by oldman 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because you're not ready to, yet. There's something keeping you in the relationship.
Every action is purpose driven. What purpose keeps you in an emotionally abusive relationship?
When you are ready, you will do what you need to do to protect your emotional and spiritual self.
2006-06-08 13:32:02 · answer #7 · answered by DW 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you have kids dont let your kids be with him because if you hang with him more he will cumit sucide somebody close to was like your husband so just leave or sneak out at night he has no right to hert you or have a restraining order against him ok.
2006-06-08 13:34:06 · answer #8 · answered by jarredqueer101 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your an Alanon. Get help. Look up Alanon in your local white pages. It could change your entire life.
2006-06-08 13:35:40 · answer #9 · answered by billwassmus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u better find the strength to leave him..He can honestly hurt you or even kill you..Alcohol is like a drug once your drunk you can do anything....Think about your life and your family if he would do something to you...my aunt was killed by her drunk boyfriend....Leave while you have the chance don't wait till its so late and hurts you or even to late and kill you..GOOD LUCK
2006-06-08 13:35:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋