i am confused help?

Question

i am so lost i am in love with a man who is controlling and does not know how to show love and i treated him like a king and he dumped me and he says it is cause he is bored i triied spiceing it up but he did not want to do anything i wanted to do and now i am beating myself up thinking it was my fault and i want him back but at the same time i dont so what do i do? HELP PLEASE!!!!!

Answer 1

kat, you had the misfortune of falling in love with a selfish lump of coal. The response you received for your efforts were no better than a rock would have given you. The man used you and tossed you aside. See him for what he is, and move on. There are good men out there who will care for you and respond properly to your needs.

BTW, any man who is brain dead and follows his impulses is usually bored after using something once. Such a man (?) is someone you do not want to spend the rest of your life with.

Answer 2

Do not work too much if he is bored with you.. Its not you! its him with his issues .. I think u will need to find a better man to enjoy what you can do .. It cannot be just for sex alone without Love while u are loving him .. u wont feel complete becz the way he is .. I say get out before he treated you badly and leave you for someone else.. I know it may be hard .. But cant let sex control ur life to be with him if he cant be a man enough for u to respect you and so on .. Think about u having his children .. its not a good happiness think about it before u go too far with him .. it is just very unhealthy when u do something like this with him .. dont be his slave .. be a woman and let him honor you

Answer 3

The first thing to remember is that it is not your fault. There are men out there who will NEVER be satisfied with just one woman. I know that love makes us see only the good in someone, but if you say he was controlling, you are probably better off without him. I myself have been in controlling relationships, and they only get worse over time, not better. My advice to you is take a little time for YOU. Work through all of this, be happy with who you are! Then, move on and find someone who will treat you right.

Answer 4

First of all, you need to work on your self esteem. Obviously you have none if you treated this man like a king while he treated you like a dog. You need to walk(run) away and never look back. It will be really painful at first, but he doesn't deserve to have someone love him like you did. Eventually as time passes, it will be easier and you have to stay strong. You will also meet someone who will treat you like you deserve to be treated. Just stay busy with work, kids, anything that keeps you busy so you don't have time to think about him. Spend a lot of time with your friends going out and doing different things to get you back out in the world and meeting new people. Prayer works really well too. Good luck.

Answer 5

Where did the real you go? The one who knew she was worth something and didn't take a load of crap. The one who demands to be treated like a queen, not a servant? You need to stay away from all men for a while until you can love yourself and who you are and know that you are worth a hell of a lot! How can you find a good man to love you if you don't think that much of yourself?

Stay away from the guy and than your lucky stars you guys broke up. He could have just crushed you under his heel for the next 20 years...

Answer 6

Sounds like he just didn't know a good thing when he had it. I wouldn't want him back if he was that controlling you can always find someone else who will make you feel like his queen, which is how a woman should be treated anyway. Don't think it was your fault that he is such a jerk! Just let him walk away and when he looks back then don't be there and then he will realize how badly he messed up.

Answer 7

Its painful to be in a relationship where you love the other person more than they could ever love you.

To be told that he's breaking up with you because he's bored seems like... he had little respect. It seems like you were a toy that when he finally got bored with, so he just leaves it lying around.

You're a woman with feelings and needs. And you seem one that would really give it her all in a relationship. Perhaps this one is not worth it.

Remember, real love is gold. But gold to get to its pure state has to go through fire. Gold also must be earned. You may have to pass several "fire" until you get the real thing. Give it to the one you think is really worth it, to the one who has earned it by giving you love and respect.

Answer 8

You gave him the upper hand..Who wants someone who's gonna let control them.. You wasn't a challenge, not trying to be funny but you was his toy, he could do whatever to you.. Men like chanllenges they like to run into females, that's gonna stand their ground.. It shows them your'e independent.. I know you probably wanted to be a good woman to him and that's fine, but learn to do it and be firm at the same time.. You'll be ok stop downing yourself it happens to the best of us.. The good thing is you experienced it so now you know when you see coming your way again... Bounce back from it and move on it's his lost....He'll realize and when he do hopefully you would have moved on and make him feel how you feel now....Time heals all wounds you will definitely be ok.. It's obvious he needs you more than you could ever need him.

Answer 9

It's not your fault. You've tried your best and if it didn't work out it's all for the better. You should move on and forget about him. At times it might be hard, but just remember that you are way better off without him. Find someone that loves you for who you are and truly cares about you.

Answer 10

Dear Cat, Its time to quit blaming yourself and get moving.If the guy is a control freak and unloveing why would you even want to look that way.
There are plenty of guys that are loving and that you could be proud of and that would respect you for what you are.