How can I light a fire under his a$$ without nagging ??

Question

Husband not participating in life chores,It's been going on for about a year.I'm over loaded and have told him so--nicely and in a fight.I'm at a loss--I feel like roomates

Answer 1

If you can't get him to willingly pitch in with the things that need to be done on a daily or weekly basis then my suggestion is to make two lists of those things. One list should consist of both the most priority driven items and those which you are able physically and time wise to manage. The other should be the less priority items though I would encourage leaving as many items on the list that you know are important to him and would cause him to complain about were they not completed. You keep the first list of things to do and give him the second list of things to do and make it clear that you are ONLY going to be responsible for your list. When things don't get done on his list that will irritate him the most then maybe he will come to both appreciate what you have been doing and take some adult responsibility beyond just those of being a bread winner. Male chauvinist simply bug the shyt out of me.

Answer 2

well, that depends. has he helped with the chores in the past? or did he suddenly stop? because my hubby won't do chores. he never has, and he never will. Men just aren't programmed to do this stuff. And I'm not his mommy so i'm not going to lecture him. Since my hubby is the sole breadwinner in the house, it is my responsibility to keep the house maintained. The money I make at work, I get to keep and spend on the things I want. So it's an even trade. Look at it this way. As long as you are the only one cleaning, you get to arrange everything the way you want.

Answer 3

The first obvious question is do you both work? If so then just delegate. If you ask he can say no, if you nag or he feels like he is being pushed, he'll push back. If you don't both work then the majority of the burden should be the person who is at home.

Also, make together time a priority! If you don't, you will end up just roommates.

Answer 4

Do this.

1.Before he get's home, unplug the TV.
2.Ask him to come sit with you in the kitchen, then talk to him about him doing more around the house.
3.If he objects, say this and smile. If I were naked, would you help me out more?
4.Flirt him into helping you more, talk dirty to him, promise him a BJ for some help. Make it fun is the hole idea, so it does not seem like work to him.
5.If none of these things work for you, then go file for divorce, you married a looser and he will never change.

Answer 5

all i have to say is good luck!!!! Men think because they work they don't have to do anything else. if your dropping hints, stop its a waste of time. sit down with him at the dinner table and say there are a few things that need changing and nicely let him have it. dont say anything that will put him on the defense.make sure you tell him your feelings. as for "roommates" it happens when we have kids in the mix. DATE NIGHT at least 2 times a month. REMEMBER THE HOT YEARS!! what do you do when you dated?? light the spark again

Answer 6

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Answer 7

What I do when my b/f gets like this (we've been living together for some time now) is NOTHING.
Don't do dishes don't do the laundy, don't get groceries don't clean anything.. Go on strike in a way. When he is way hungry, has no clean underwear and the bathroom smells like crap he will come to you and go "why?" Than you can just say "I asked you for your help nicely, I asked you not so nicely, now I am going to stop asking for your help and just make it your responsiblity without asking you first as you have done to me" Than go out and do something nice for yourself. sounds like you deserve it. hope this helps..

Answer 8

Make a very complete list of everything that you feel needs to be done, daily, weekly, monthly. Put a time estimate beside each item. Show him the list and negociate which things are gonig to get done by who. If he can't pitch in, then pitch him out.

Answer 9

Sorry to disappoint you, but it sounds like you have a normal life! I don't think men do this on purpose, but it just doesn't occur to them that we need help unless we nag them.
They don't know how to read between the lines.

Answer 10

the question of the century. i say, ask while jumping his bones and then remind him afterward that he needs to do whatever it was that you asked him to do. it works every time.