There is a guy that is a friend with benefits. And I've really fallen in love with him, but he says he loves me as a friend, but doesn't really see anything more. Plus he says that he isn't ready for a realtionship, and I asked him that when he is, will I stand a chance at being his girlfriend. He said, "We'll see you never know." He encourages me to get out and meet other people, but I don't want to. My question is, what's the best way to handle this situation? and is there a chance he could grow to love me as more than a friend?
2006-06-08 09:13:37 · 13 answers · asked by Carrie P 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Seems doubtful that he will reciprocate the feelings based on what you mentioned so far. There comes the cliche statement "why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free". If he doesnt seem like he is interested in a future with you, he probably isn't. There are lots of men out there, GOOD ONES at that. Do not settle for someone like this that you started out as "friends with benefits". It will not turn out good- trust me, i've been there a few times in the past myself because us women tend to associate sex with love- remove the sex and see if there is something more between you.
2006-06-08 09:21:24 · answer #1 · answered by Earthy Angel 4 · 5⤊ 5⤋
There is always a chance that he may some day grow to love you but the odds of it are very low. This is really a guy who is with you more for the benefits than for the friendship. He probably has this same relationship with other girls and isn't going to give that up unless he is forced to. I'm not a big supporter of friends with benefits because way too often it ends up in a situation like this where one person develops romantic feelings and the other doesn't. I think you may have reached a point in this relationship where you have to end the benefits and see if there is still a friendship. Until you do this he has no reason to want to change, even though I doubt he will even when you cut him off. And also, you have no ability to move forward with your life and find real love as long as you are with this guy and continuing this relationship. I know it isn't easy because you have developed feelings for him but in the long run ending it sooner than later is better because your just going to continue to hurt worse and worse as your feelings continue to deepen for him.
2006-06-08 10:04:32 · answer #2 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Carrie,
You don't say if there's reasons he may have given you for not being ready for a relationship or if possibly there's an age difference between you that might be keeping him from further commitment. Regardless, it sounds as if by trying to encourage you to see and date other people then his interests are likely to remain unchanged in the near future. It's difficult when you have considerable feelings for someone and find they can't or won't be returned but in my opinion you should take his advice and see other people. If you choose to do this and still continue to hold these feelings for this man then all you can do is be as happy as possible until you finally either get a more definite commitment from him or gradually are able to let go and move on.
Best Wishes to you
2006-06-08 09:22:29 · answer #3 · answered by fun_guy_otown 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems he has been truthful as he can about what his feelings towards you really are. He likes you as a friend and wants you to find someone else that makes you happy. As for the "friends with benefits" thing...I would cease the "benefits" part. It's no use if it's only one-sided.
2006-06-08 09:18:46 · answer #4 · answered by justneedascreenname 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
feel that if he is a true frind it will happen in time it takes time for every thing and you as a lady you are and very beautful you are will find the right person if you don,t go looking for it it will soon find you and you will find the right person and you will spend the rest of your life with if he don,t want you it is his lose not yours you think your cowboy jeffif you would like to chat more you can email me at twofeathers15 @yahoo.com
2006-06-09 06:24:47 · answer #5 · answered by jeff d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I would leave the friends with benifits thing out. Get more on a personable level. Get to know him more as a person, rather than his penis.
2006-06-08 09:19:51 · answer #6 · answered by Kyle W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you are the only "friend with benefit's " that he has .. ? Cut loose and get a meaningful relationship..
2006-06-09 08:15:43 · answer #7 · answered by kunal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can maintain what you have now with him, but you are not going to have him grow to love you!
2006-06-08 09:18:13 · answer #8 · answered by OneRunningMan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cannot be so despirate. if he feels that way it is beyond your control. you need to slow down things and figure out if there is someone else out there that will feel better about you.
2006-06-08 09:21:04 · answer #9 · answered by smiths j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you are wasting your time.... ive been on both sides of the fence. sucks but... dont waste your time when you can help it... you never get it back... if thats your pic....find someone to treat you right
2006-06-08 09:19:17 · answer #10 · answered by pencilnbrush 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋