i dont trust my husband becos he had lot girl friends,he always look at girls when we go out.but now he dont show it.we had enough talk about it..i found somethings at home before about girls.i saw his past emails also for girls.now that he want to join college for mba fulltime.i dont trust him & i am very insecure.i said no to him & he is also firm but i cant help it.i want to but i cant support his decision becos i know he'll talk to girls,will get close to them.i told him that i'll leave him if he join college.his past has made me like that
2006-06-08 09:03:07 · 9 answers · asked by jenny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he used to watch prn,nude girls online but one day i caught him & this is just a month ago.he has made my mentality like that otherwise how can i not support my husband in his education.
2006-06-08 09:26:07 · update #1
That's incredibly selfish of you! You want to hold him back from an education and a better life for the BOTH of you because you are jealous. He fell in love and married YOU didn't he??? Out of all those girls he might speak to in a day he chose YOU and he comes home to YOU. and YOU are going to ruin a relationship with your unreasonable jealousy.
2006-06-08 09:12:42 · answer #1 · answered by beckini 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should be able to trust the person that you are married to. If you can't trust a person than maybe the relationship never should have happened in the first place.
To be blunt, guys spend all their time thinking about sex, and no matter how much they get at home they are still interested. That isn't meant to imply that he will cheat on you, however. It just means he's still going to enjoy looking.
On another point, you can't expect him not to have friends of the opposite sex. It is unreasonable to tell him he can't go back to school to better himself just because there will be girls there.
You have to trust him because if you don't you will just make both him and you miserable. You will be paranoid all the time and he will feal persecuted. If you truely love him just give him the trust unconditional. If he breaks that trust then leave him because he wouldn't be worth it.
2006-06-08 09:17:25 · answer #2 · answered by tisbod5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long ago was it that he cheated on you and did all this stuff. I can understand why you don't trust him however. Is he willing to change and get help and counseling and marriage counseling with you. Do you want to work on or save this marriage? I don't know all of your history here but am here to help in any way that my wife and i can help you. If you need to talk we are here! If he is continuing his tricks and not wanting to change or get help then i would at least seperate for a while and see what happens. Hope this helps some!
2006-06-08 09:49:02 · answer #3 · answered by Fast Steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is the past and if he has done nothing in the present to make you feel this way, then he should leave you for being so controlling and jealous. You need to get some counseling and work on getting your self esteem up.
2006-06-08 09:22:13 · answer #4 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is prone to wander, that will happen whether he goes to college or not. If your fear is that he will mess around, you need to establish some boundaries for yourself and start working on a life of your own. What do you have going for you? Why do you think he would have roving eyes? Are you just insecure? Get counseling for yourself. Whining and clinging just drives men further away. Be independent and strong. Make him chase you instead of others.
2006-06-08 09:18:09 · answer #5 · answered by larry r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to loosen the reins a bit. Yes he may look but it never hurts to read the menu. The question is why are you so insecure?
Has he given you cause to think hes been with someone else?
Jealousy will only turn this into a self fulfilling prophecy. If you tie his schooling into your mistrust issue, he is gone, you won't have to leave.
2006-06-08 09:16:25 · answer #6 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl,you got reason to be like that.he is disrespecting you in your face by looking at girls and the emails..and can you imagine what he does behind your back...not trying to get you madder but i know how you feel.me having gone through similar things...and yah they make you crazy...wondering what they do when your not there.....but they get off on it and use it as reason to do more things like that.i say keep your mouth shut and eyes open.let him go to school but keep your eyes open....because you holding him back and threatening to leave is gonna fuse the flame and cause more damage to your already hurting marriage.if he does go astray then let him go and you need to regain the confidence that you have lost by his infedilities.i know exactly where you are coming from and know your not alone.if you ever need to talk email me..ok.you got to let him go bc if you don't he will hang that over your head and things will only get worst.goood luck and don't let anyone make you feel worse than you already do....do the right ting but don't let him pull the wool over your eyes either.ok.
2006-06-08 11:03:49 · answer #7 · answered by gna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is high enjoyments of one another of trust and happyness with your best half..........your marriage seems to be allready sour and damage ...you seem to have many disappointments...you should know what time it is hold your head up be strong..things like this happen because you let it happen fix your self and move on.......
2006-06-08 09:29:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join his college ..that way you'll keep him close and on a short leash. Good luck!
2006-06-08 09:07:51 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋