How do we handle our 16-year-old son's friendship with a 12-year-old boy?

Question

Our 16-year-old son is friends with a 12-year-old boy. It’s a harmless friendship, & our son, Paul, is an honor student, & just a really great kid. Teachers, students, and bus drivers love him; he's kind, considerate, helpful, respectful, never sassed us back; never had a temper tantrum, has never been in trouble in school, drugs, smoking, or girls. We're not happy about him being friends with this 12-year-old boy, & we've told him this. The boy, Josh, is somewhat immature, gets into trouble in school and on the school bus. He’s often grounded by his parents who seem to ignore his poor behavior in school & on the bus. He looks up to our son as a "big brother" even though Josh has a 15-year-old brother. They also hang out with a 14-year-old, and another 16-year-old, who isn't around a lot. We don't really like Josh because of his poor attitude on the school bus and in school. Do we forbid Paul from hanging out with Josh or should we just let it work itself out? Thank you! Pam

Answer 1

ya know you should just accept that your son is kind enough to make friends with someone much younger than him. because your son is willing to do that it shows what a nice person he is. even though the 12-year old kid gets into trouble it will probably not effect the way he behaves inless you force your son not to be friends with that kid. so please take my advice and let them be friends. i wish you all the best.

Answer 2

Your son might be the best thing for this boy since hes so good and stuff.....and if the boy sees ur son as a big brother he might some what pick up ur sons traits.....Also i dont think since ur son is so good that this 12y/o boy will influence him to turn over a new leaf and be all bad since he soundst o be mature enough not to be influenced. I know this cause i have hung out with alot of ppl older and younger who r really bad and im still the same person(straight a's no too much trouble etc.) Talk to your son bout his relationship

Answer 3

just because your son has a brother doesnt mean he doesnt need to hand around others that considers him a brother----i had few younger friends that looked up to me a a older brother---and some did things to get in trouble and i didnt--what needs to happen is you need to invite this boy over and spend alot of time with your son---if your boy is such an angel then it is bound to rub off onto him---
growing up to be a great kid to being an even better adult-- begins with friends and the clans we hang around with--and if he is causing trouble let your son help trying to correct the little guy--we all arent perfect--and i am sure--you as a parent --has done things that your folks didnt like--and look at you now--
be there for the little fellow-and maybe what you did to raise a perfect young man will be a positive influence on him

Answer 4

Not everyone's big sibling is the best, maybe since Josh looks up to Paul, his attitude would change. Just try to test it out, if Paul doesn't influence him positively around you guys, lay down your standards for him, just say hey, please dont talk back. or something. But if Paul's attitude turns bad, Bye Bye Josh. Just make sure the other kids Paul is hanging out with are good kids. I'd let them hang out, but keep an eye on them.

Answer 5

I think him looking up to him as a big brother is a good thing, your son sounds like a great role model. But them hanging out shouldn't really peel under your skin like you said its just harmless friendship so i feel you have nothing to worry about and let friends be friends

Answer 6

The last thing you want to do is take Paul away from Josh cuz Josh looks up to him, and if Josh looks up to Paul, he will try to be like Paul, a good kid!

Answer 7

if the little guy looks up to your son as a big brother, then just let the ride go by smoothly, you never know, your son may have a powerful influence on the little guy, and he may even turn out like your son. Dont give up on us kids, please dont.

Answer 8

you should prolly jsut let it play out for awhile. but if you son's behavior starts changing to me more like josh's then o should ask him to not hang with him anymore. maybe teh relationship with your son will help josh to stop acting the way he does.

Answer 9

let it work out but if u see a behavorial change insist tha the stop hanging around this kid