how do u deal with a selfish and mean husband that has an anger problem? he treats u bad and so mean and selfish. u do everything to take care of him and make him happy. u suppory him in everything, u put up with his lousy past. how do u deal with that? u so good to him but he so mean to u.
2006-06-08 08:35:15 · 27 answers · asked by caramel_sexy20 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i talk to him and beg him to do right. when i go to him about my feelings, he gets mad and disrepect me. he called me stupid in front his parents and he holla at me in their home. he does me nothing like i do him.
2006-06-08 08:44:05 · update #1
i dont know u fish eyes.
comment to the comment under fish eyes, what u talking about????
2006-06-08 08:47:18 · update #2
doc he knows he got a good woman. he tells people that but he dont do me same way i do him. besides for the guys......do u know the difference between a man and a woman?????
2006-06-08 08:56:09 · update #3
The very first thing you must remember is that you do not have to deal with him. If he is not willing to change you can leave him. Do not put all this effort into him if he is not gonna be good to you anymore. As far as his past, just try to ignore it the best you can. If it is an ex or kids that is just part of him and you are gonna have to ignore them. I go through the "baggage" crap every single day of my life, and I know it stinks. If he is mean to you think about leaving him. Try to talk to him and tell him if he wants this relationship to survive he has got to change. If he doesn't comply then maybe you should move on. I know that is easier said than done. I know this. You sound extremely unhappy and if you are trying so hard and getting nothing back then leave and put all that effort into yourself. Life is too short to be miserable. Good luck and God bless you.
2006-06-08 09:24:31 · answer #1 · answered by whatshername 5 · 6⤊ 3⤋
That's your side of the story. I wonder what he says about you.
You think that just because you start your question with "Ladies only!!!!?" that only women are allowed to comment? Now, why would you not want the opinion of a man? Doesn't this say a lot about what is really going on in your relationship?
How is it that you didn't know before you married him that he was mean and selfish and had an anger problem? What does this say about your judgment in picking men?
Frankly, I don't believe a woman who says that she does everything to make her husband happy and he is mean to her, unless you deliberately went out to pick a bad man.
The fact that he can say nice things about you, and you can't say nice things about him, is another clue that he is not such a bad guy as you say, and you are not such a nice woman as you say.
2006-06-08 15:53:38 · answer #2 · answered by Doctor 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like counseling is desperately needed. A woman is a beautiful, wonderful, and nurturing type of person. I understand that it is difficult to see past what you want when it's so obviously in front of you, but if he's not going to listen to you, then maybe he'll listen to someone else. I can't tell you to leave him because I don't know the whole situation but I would definitely ask a close friend who can give you a birds eye view of the situation.
2006-06-08 16:01:55 · answer #3 · answered by Nursen' 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I'm sure ALL WOMEN are going to tell you this but kick his *** to the curb. You don't deserve it and you don't have to stay there and take it.If you are so stupid and can't do anything for him satisfying, I say pack up your belongings and LEAVE him. I'm so sorry that you are going through all the pain but I hope you will take my advice and leave his a**. And if you don't want to leave and want him to leave, well kick his *** out the house!! Make him find some where to live. I"m sick of so many men treating women like that. Also, show out where he shows out. You mentioned that yall were over his parents home and she got loud with you, GET Loud back honey!!! You are a human being and you deserve respect!!!!!
2006-06-08 15:54:38 · answer #4 · answered by jetta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok dear one, if there is a community outreach center - get there! Take care of yourself - find help whether it be a church or a friend, but you've got to make a change in your life - forget "dealing" with him. Aren't you worth more than feeling as if you need to "beg" him to do right? You are allowing this slithering slime to abuse you and you must STOP it NOW! And please, don't expect your "feelings" to be honored by this creature...you are wasting your time with that dream. Don't allow yourself to be stepped on one more minute! Ok? Personally, I want you to leave instead of kicking him out...I feel you will be safe if you go. Do not let him know where you will be or try to make him change his ways. Find help and leave silently. Take care.
2006-06-08 16:14:36 · answer #5 · answered by ellie29 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A mature woman would not "deal" with what you are describing, she would leave the selfish basta**. Has he always been this way? If yes, you were foolish to marry him. If not, you should have let him know as soon as this behavior started that you would not put up with it. He is used to you tolerating his treatment of you now, and it will be almost impossible to get him to change now without drastic measures. I would let him know if he wanted me to stay, his behavior would have to change, and if it didn't I would leave. How can you expect him to respect you if you have so little respect for yourself that you hang around for this kind of abuse?
2006-06-08 16:09:02 · answer #6 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex husband had a anger management problem. After putting up with it and being supportive and doing everything I could to not upset him, I finally had enough. I asked him to go to Anger management clases if he wanted to stay with me. He agrred but never went. He just said that too apeace me, although he at least recongnized that he had a problem.
Fast forward 8 years later, I got rid of him, it was too much for me and he turned violent at the end.
My advice to you: Don't spend the rest of your life being disrespected and dealing with his emotional abuse. Don't wait a decade until you figure it out. If he is not willing to go to therapy to control his anger bursts, don't be there to witness it and end up being the punching bag.
Good luck.
2006-06-08 17:04:26 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definately sounds like you need to remove yourself from this situation. If you don't he could wind up more controlling and will be more abusive and the longer you stay and put up with it, the worse it is going to get. Look to family and friends or a local shelter if you fear for your life- just take care of yourself, because no one else will
2006-06-08 16:14:47 · answer #8 · answered by Earthy Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A marriage is not there to make people happy. It is the union of 2 people, and if one is an unhappy, selfish bas***d, then it will not change. You don't have to put up with being treated badly. Don't waste your time with him, or tell him what bothers you and he might change...
2006-06-08 15:48:40 · answer #9 · answered by nysega 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce sounds like the only option. You should not be miserable in this relationship nor should you be treated poorly. He does NOT deserve you and there is some wonderful man out there that does. Respect yourself and get out of this now (before it gets worse).
2006-06-08 15:55:23 · answer #10 · answered by Dukie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋