My husband is a sex addict and when we were teens we would have sex 3 times a day Monday thru Friday. I never did feel like having sex but I would do it anyway. Now we're a little older and still happily married but I still don't feel like doing it. He's a good looking man, in great shape, and very loving but he's such a horndog. I want to be there for him when he wants it. If it were up to me I would never have sex, I just love being with him no sex invovled. What can I do?
2006-06-08 08:13:59 · 9 answers · asked by Prissy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He does make me climax every time and more than once. But I wish I could want it just as much as he does and I don't think its dirty. He knows the way I feel so-he will give me a massage and other things to make me horny. I do eventually have the desire to do so but he has to work at it.
2006-06-08 09:18:07 · update #1
Hello Prissy, it sounds like the two of you are world's apart on your desire. You do love him though and he loves you.
Can you talk to each other and reach some sort of compromise?
I take it that he is good about pleasuring you or does he?
That could be a part of it also. I would suggest that you two sit down somewhere comfortable and have a honest and open talk about this. I wanted sex more than my wife did for many years.
One of the things we have done is one night each week, I give her a complete body rub using oil or cream. After this she is so relaxed that she is ready for anything, including me!
It's not 3 times a day but he is going to have to lower his expectations a bit here and find ways to get you interested too!
Just talk, stay positive and know that you love each other.
Good luck!
2006-06-08 08:22:22 · answer #1 · answered by Ekimo 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
The things that stand out in your question are: (1) you never felt like having sex, (2) you say you are happily married, and (3) you had sex three times a day just because he wanted it.
This makes me wonder, why do you not want to have sex? Is it not enjoyable for you? Why did you agree to have sex repeatedly if you didn't enjoy it?
I suspect that your view of sex has been distorted by some early childhood experience. Were you abused as a child? Do you look at sex as a way to gain acceptance from a man, but you feel used and dirty doing it?
Once you have an understanding of your hangup, and why you feel the way you do, you might be able to begin a wholesome and truly loving relationship, which is heightened by sex, but not driven by it.
2006-06-08 08:46:06 · answer #2 · answered by Doctor 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to let him know how you REALLY feel. Secondly, this sounds like an issue that is deep enough to require seeing a therapist, preferrably together. As far as your non-sexual feelings go, people are generally not 'asexual' by nature but by conditioning and it sounds like you have been conditioned to be the focus of his powerful sexual needs and consequently have completely buried your ability to find your own. You need to discover yours and at this point they are probbably deeply buried. So therapy it is and quickly!
Also, sex addict is a very serious term to throw around. If he is really a sex addict, HE needs to immediately get into addiction therapy and YOU need to be concerned with him having sex with other partners. Thats not what it sounds like you are saying but be aware.
2006-06-08 08:43:20 · answer #3 · answered by jimanywhere 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get yourself in the mood buy some toys to play with like orgasm beads and couples toys. Spice it up for him and try new fun things like new posistions and things. You may just be bored and need more romance and love from him too. Does he do alot of romantic things for you? You may also need to see a sex therapist as well!
2006-06-08 09:34:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont have journey, yet I have heard that forplay is really reliable for making on yet another sense loved and also for a extra effectual climax. and that i imagine if u supply some little surprises to him, love letter etc, merely earlier having any sexual intimacy then those thoughts can connect u 2 really properly and u will sense emotionally closer and sexually satisfied... So may be u may favor to get emotionally intimate earlier having sexually intimacy... extra importantly, u ought to also communicate about how u are feeling with regards to this count number with ur hubby, coz if u 2 get to appreciate one yet another and discover out what provides delight for u both and what u favor out of sex then u might want to artwork on it jointly with somewhat of success to do some thing about it and sense on the brink of one yet another Kissing affectionately on cheeks, and hugging plenty regularly can get u 2 to sense emotionally closer, and which could also perchance carry about a extra effectual sex existence. Peoples sexual needs and desires and what they hunt down of it might want to determination so u ought to communicate sex freely yet sensitively with ur hubby for a extra effectual information of one yet another. wish this facilitates
2016-11-14 08:58:54 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can go to the doctor and get a low dose of Testosterone...that will horn you up but good...you may not be able to achieve climax, but getting there will be great for you.
2006-06-08 08:34:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont always have to have sex you could do other things to keep him happy if you know what i mean.
2006-06-08 08:20:33 · answer #7 · answered by klynnd1981 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
toss him the kleenex and lotion and send him to the basement!!
2006-06-08 08:24:01 · answer #8 · answered by cma80 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why you want marige if you don`t want sex
2006-06-08 08:18:00 · answer #9 · answered by kofstar69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋