In a relationship, What do you consider to be an acceptable age difference?

Question

My boyfriend is almost 8 years older than me.....but where would you draw a line?....5 years.....10 years.....20 years?

Answer 1

I think it depends on the people in the relationship. It's more about mental maturity and compatibility than how old someone is. I've been in relationships with people much older, my age, and younger. Of course, they weren't all serious relationships....but a few were.

I don't think 8 years is too much.

Answer 2

When you are an adolescent you should have friends that are very close to your own age. Even a two year difference is a lot during adolescence. When you are between 20 and 30 you can have a relationship with someone that is a few years older. Once you are about 30 you should have reached a level of maturity so that you could have a relationship with a person many years older than you and still match in sensibilities.

The age gap in a relationship is not as important as the willingness to be a team some people never learn that. A healthy relationship should have respect, trust, and teamwork. If you are considering raising a family then you should have a certain amount of maturity but as a woman ages the chance birth defects increase. You could overcome that by having a donor egg. Generally, older parents are better at raising children than immature teenagers. If your mate already has children you must be williing to accept the responsibility and concommitant financial obligations.

Socially, you may find that some people will be uncomfortable with your relationship if there is a big gap in the ages. This may be important if you are employed in a business where it is important to have social contacts with your family. Otherwise, it is important to have the support of your own family because otherwise you will feel isolated. At first all you need is each other, but later you will miss the love and support of your family.

Some people are mature and responsible when they are teenagers and some people never seem to be mature and responsible even when they are senior citizens so you predict maturity from a person's age. Some people take care of their health and do not smoke or drink, but eat healthy foods and exercise regularly. These people generally do not look their age. Also some people are genetically predisposed to looking young. However, looks are not important if you do not focus on them. For example, Barbara Bush looks older than she is due to Grave's disease but her husband did not mind.

There are many considerations in choosing a mate. Make your choices carefully

Answer 3

Thats really a personal thing between you and the other person in the relationship. What you should do consider your age and his, the level of maturity that the both at this point in your lives. Another thing that you should keep in mind if you think that the relationship could end up in marriage is that women usually live 5-10 years longer than men, so your (then husband) might die when you are about 65 years old and you might live another 15 - 20 years as a widow if you don't find someone else. In the end this question can only be answered by the two people involved in the situation, but you should look forward and consider all of the ramifications of a relationship where there is a considerable difference in age.

Answer 4

It depends on how young the younger partner is. The older the couple, the less significant the age difference. You say the difference is 8 years in your case...That's fine if you're 30 and he's 38, not so good if you're 10 and he's 18. The difference in age diminishes as you get older...ask my mom and dad who are 9 years apart (71 and 80)!!!! They married when she was 26 and he was 35. She said they had similar experiences and had lived enough life to know that they were meant to be. When someone is still very young and hasn't had much life experience, 8 years is a BIG difference. Take, for instance, a 16 and a 24 year old. One hasn't finished high school and the other has probably been in the work force for a few years. What, other than physical attraction, could they have in common?

Answer 5

Oh wow... over 300 As... Well, I think that the age difference should be no higher than 15 max. I'm 26 but I draw the line @ 32 or so... So I guess I draw the line @ being 6 yrs older... even tho there are peeps who have an age difference of 10 yrs. An old school friend of mine, well she was married a few yrs ago. Her bf was 10 yrs older than her. She's 26 now. So 26 & 36. The older a person gets, then the less difference it makes. If a couple is 14 & 24, then that is a HUGE difference. That's not right @ all... I prefer older guys. I think the guy should be older...taller too preferably :P No prob there as I'm only 5'6... (2 of 3 sis's are taller than me & a lot of my younger cuz's are passing me off too :$ :( ) Age does make a difference.

Answer 6

that really depends on how old you are. My GF is 33 I am 42. This is fine, right? no problems? anyone object? Not so far. But... when this girl was 13 I would be 20 and in jail. An other consideration is purely statistical. Women live an average of 12 years longer than men do. According to Life Insurance mortality tables. The average age of fatality in men is 72. So subtract the your age from his age, add 12 and subtract this total from 72. How old will you be when he (statistically dies)? Could you find somebody else? Would you want to? If you were 60 and he died at 72, then you would be on your own until you passed on at 84.
Basically, once you have reached the age of 21, age is just a number, so consider the other factors. like if he is 54 now, and you have 4 kids and he dies at 60... that would leave you 27 years old, 4 kids and no hubby. And, with 4 kids no time for dating or a social life.
I had this discussion with a former gf. she was 19 I was 35, But this was not a problem with her or her family, which is another consideration. Will he be accepted into and by your family?
IF there is a large age difference, more than 7 years, make sure you get some life insurance on him. If he is your source of support and dies with out insurance, how will you live? pay for the funeral? educate the kids?. In any case, life insurance is a good investment, and the earlier you get it, the cheaper it is.
Again, this was also in the discussion with my former gf.

Answer 7

I honestly believe right now the world is having a huge problem with this age difference thing. it all depends. If the person your dating is old enough to either be your father, grandfather, mother, grandmother etc etc. than the gap might be a bit much. I really feel men who date younger women have some type of sexual issues. like a 40 year old and a 20 to 29 year old, that's a difference of either 20 or 11 years. that's a big difference. just think of it like this , when my boyfriend was my age , how old was I and if you were under 14 or 15 there is an issue, but some people are happy just be with someone so age doesn't matter. to me I wouldn't date a women less than 5 years younger than me or 5 years older than me. I am 27 so I am drawing the line at 22 and 32.

Answer 8

Not a number, a percentage. If one or both people are under age 20, a 10% difference. For anyone older, no more than 20%. Examples:
18 -> 16-20
25 -> 20-30
50 -> 40-60
Usually, however, men prefer to date women the same age or younger than themselves. It's a very rare man who isn't threatened by dating an older woman. Even I won't date a woman more than a few years older than myself.

I don't date outside those ranges for two very good reasons:

1. Maturity level. If people are too different in age, they will have different attitudes toward behaviour. If a 35 year old dates a 25 year old, the older person will think more about certain things than the younger person, will have a greater sense of responsibility and will (may) be thinking about career and retirement plans while the younger thinks that's decades away.

2. Personal interests. It's not looks, sex or romance that keep relationships alive, it's friendship. If, again, a 35 year old dates a 25 year old, they will have very different ideas of fun (reading vs. movies, bar hopping versus staying at home, musical tastes etc.). People who like to do things together tend to stay together; if you're having fun with somebody else, you might start looking for somebody else.

Answer 9

Depends on how old the both of you are. There is a lot of info missing in this... how old are you? If you are 15 and he is 23 .... HUGE DIFFERENCE!!!!! If you are 26 and he is 34, not a big deal. If you are young (under 23 ish) be very careful, at this age a year in age can mean years worth of experience and maturity. Drawing a line can be difficult each is a case by case basis. I have met guys younger than I am who were much more mature. At the same time I have been out with guys that were 10 years older and acted 5 years younger. Think before you act in this case.

Answer 10

5

Answer 11

It depends. Even 2 years is A LOT for a teenager. Somewhere in the early 20's age doesn't matter as much anymore. Of course a 22 year old probably shouldn't be comfortable with a man who is say........50 lol. Then 30 year olds being with 50 year olds is not too bad.
My self made rule is:
up to age 15 no more than 2 year difference.
up to age 20 no more than 5 year difference.
up to age 30 no more than 10 year difference.
after 30 up to 20 years is fine.
The biggest age difference I ever had was when I was 15 and dating a 17 year old. Now I'm married and my husband is exactly 1 year older than me (our b-days are only 8 days apart).