How do I tell my husband that I am Bi?

Question

I am a very happily married 37 yr old woman and I am bi-sexual, but my husband has no idea. I have just recently admitted this to myself. I love my husband and have no desire to leave him, but I really want to be honest with him. I have no intentions of acting on my desires behind his back, but I have begun socializing with other bi women and I have already been approached by women who would like a physical relationship. I have not have much experience with women (beyond experimenting as a teen), but I sure would like to. My husband is very caring and loving but also pretty conservative. Any advice?

Again, I am making it clear that I have no plan or desire to cheat on my husband. I respect him and our marriage. If he doesn't accept this, I will have to deal with it, I love my husband. I do not want to be in a relationship with a woman, it is a physical thing that I have dealt with it this long and will continue to deal with. And I was not dishonest in any way when I married him, I never expected to feel the way I do now. I'm not saying that I must act on these feellings, just that I sure would like to. ; )

Answer 1

I am or was the same way. I just started telling him who I thought was hot, and checking girls out with him. I don't do anything or hit on anyone, but he gets the point. He knows I'm attracted to women. He even points out the ones he thinks I'd like so I can check them out. It's fun. He knows that I love him and would never cheat on him. And I wouldn't. But nothing is wrong with looking, or being friends.
I would just tell him," I don't know if you know this about me, but I have been finding myself very attracted to the same sex. I haven't acted on it and don't plan to, but I just wanted to share that with you since you are my husband and best friend." You never know. He may like it.

Answer 2

Get all dressed up and go to a bi-curious club for an evening out. Slowly introduce him to the lifestyle and let him absorb what you want to tell him over time.

It will take time for him to understand. That is why a slow approach is necessary.

Most men will accept bi-sexuality from women, because it is the best way to experience new and wonderful sexual adventures with the one they love, while keeping the whole scenario fresh each time.

Answer 3

By what you wrote if you tell your husband he will be devastated.
Just the fact that you have been talking to other BI women, and are interested in experimenting, lets face it, if you do, sometime afterwards don’t be surprised if your signing your divorce papers.

I mean it has to be one way or the other. Either be with a woman, or be with a man, and by the sound of it sounds like you have a great thing going for you with your husband.

I mean CHEATING is CHEATING..

Answer 4

Sure, just explain everything you just put in this question to him. Most guys are not threatened by their woman being with another woman, especially if he can watch or join in. My ex and I had a wonderful 2.5 year relationship where we frequently added women and couples. If he found a woman attractive and knew I'd like her too, he'd ask to bring her over for a night. It worked out well and it allowed us to keep our relationship spicy and exlpore our sexuality. So you could offer to let him have a threesome with you and a woman you both find attractive. But remember you are asking him to step outside of the box, you have to be willing to compromise also. If he wants to sleep with the other woman and you or another woman outside of a threesome with you, would you be willing to do that?

You are asking for a lot, be willing to give a lot back.
Good luck.

Answer 5

You are married and you have a sexual attraction to someone you are not married to. Why should you tell your husband anything? Just control yourself. Be faithful to your husband, do not think about your sexual feelings for others, do not associate with others whose standards of morality are so low that they would have a physical relationship with someone they are not married to. Your desires to have experiences with other women are just as unwholesome and wrong as would be your desires to have experiences with other men. Be grateful you have a wonderful husband. Don't throw it all away because of your extramarital sexual desires.

Answer 6

Pick the right time and day to tell him. Be completely honest. If he is okay with it, then you two should define boundaries about what is permissiable in your marriage for you, him and other women that you'd like to invovle.
If he is not okay with it, you need to suppress those feelings and channel that sexual energy somewhere else because pursuing women without your husbands consent is cheating. (I'm bi so I speak from experience)

Answer 7

Hmmmm...I'm curious about this one for many reasons, but I feel the same way as you do!! I'm wondering if you are just interested in having physical relations (sex) with women (or a woman) or if you want an emotional relationship with them as well. Do you know what you desire???

Answer 8

IF you feel the time is right tell him! you will have to just take that chance? You should have been straight up before you two got married does he know you have already experiemented with woman as a teen?

Answer 9

Best would be for you to share with him your situation,and tell him that you love him.
If you love him still then you will have to leave your interest in being bisexual contacts. Not easy . But, yes it's possible with advises from consultant-doctors. Nothing is impossible if you love him more. Try it out. You can do it.

Answer 10

I think if you have admitted to yourself that its YOU to be bi, then you have to mention it to him. Who knows it might open up a lot of possibilities. Plus who wants to have a double life? Thats no good. You could have your husband truly accept you for who you are if you give him the opportunity.