He cheated on me with the same woman for a long time. We broke up and nearly divorced. He begged and begged for me to take him back constantly, so I finally gave in.
I just found out he has been contacting her again. He says she wont talk to him, except to yell at him. (He could just be lying some more)
So, I dont want to divorce him, because of some issues right now. What do I do to stop him from cheating. We have always had a really great sex life, (2-3 times daily everyday, in many many differerant ways) I have gained some weight, because I just had a baby, but that is coming off now.
I am trying very hard, but it seems hopeless. Are there any progrmas or books we can look into to save our marriage?
I know it sounds pathetic, but this is my life and he is my husband. I would like to give it one last try before giving up for good.
Thanks
2006-06-08 08:05:34 · 19 answers · asked by wifeirate 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Forget the books, you need to get rid of this guy. I don't neccessarily perscribe to the idea of "once a cheater always a cheater," but in this case your husband is still talking to this other woman. It really doesn't matter if they're arguing when they talk..point is..he's not respecting you and your relationship enough to let this other woman go. Instead of reading books on how to make him stop cheating, start reading books on how to love and respect yourself. You may find your eyes open quite a bit when you realize how much you're worth!
2006-06-08 08:10:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can try counseling or books, but I really think the problem is he knows now that no matter how many times he cheats you'll just keep taking him back. I know that from experience, I've been cheated on before. Fact is, he'll never stop cheating, so you should consider a divorce, I know it's not what you want to do, but you will be a lot happier in the long run if you lose this guy and find someone who truly deserves you. You need to do whats best for you, and whats best for you is to respect yourself.
2006-06-08 15:29:35 · answer #2 · answered by sunstargoddess86 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cheated on you for a long time, you nearly divorced and he begged and begged you to take him back, which you did and now he's cheating again. Hmmmm. You don't need a book or a program to tell you this guy will cheat on you time after time. He's already doing it. He's your husband, true, but does this mean you're his doormat? Get rid of him and get a better man and a better life. He's not going to change, he's proven that!
2006-06-08 15:28:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, this has NOTHING to do with you....you have got to understand that...this is in NO WAY your fault. It has nothing to do with your having had a baby, weight, or anything else. You are sexually addicted to your husband and I fully understand your wanting to hold it together. BUT, if he is not willing to do some changing, then you are going to have to put up with this kind of stuff from now on. You cannot ask us what to do, for you are doing all that you can. This is up to him...he has a real problem and only he can do the changing. You have to ask yourself, "Am I willing to shut my eyes to what is going to go on?" If you decide yes, then I strongly suggest stop checking up on him, stop investigating anything, for it will only lead to pain. I would sit him down and ask, NO LIES...just what is going on and what is going to go on...he may not be able to controll this, and you must be prepared for whatever answer he gives you. Only then will you know what must be done. And anyway it runs, it is going to be painful, but you will get through it. I have, you will. I hope that yours turns out better than mine, there reached a point that I could not bend anymore for any reason. Good luck
2006-06-08 15:20:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to start going to a marriage counseler, if he agrees then it means that he is truly trying to make things right, and maybe you can work it out. Maybe try adding a little spice to your life, make him interested in YOU again. Get a new makeover look, or get a babysitter and go out for a night just for fun. Try talking to him about why you fell in love in the first place and see if the spark is still there.
2006-06-08 15:13:39 · answer #5 · answered by shawna wegner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many more times can you forgive him?? I think that we as women say we forgive but we never forget! Try going to counseling together and if he cheats again (and with the same girl) it's obvious the sex is great with her also. Then you move on and find someone who will treat you right..
2006-06-08 15:14:36 · answer #6 · answered by dbeautiful1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try couples counseling. You may have to come to terms with the fact that he might not ever stop cheating. You may have to divorce him - but work on it first and see what options you have. Good luck!!
2006-06-08 15:15:04 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a Christian marriage counselor. There's also a really good weekend type marriage conference that I've heard is great. I can't think of the name of it. PM me though I can find out if you want.
2006-06-08 15:16:21 · answer #8 · answered by mye77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you sincerely want to hang on, try a professional marriage counsellor. Personally however, I think u should try to earn self-sufficiency & move on in life. This is no way of a marital life.
2006-06-08 15:12:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to counseling and get past this with him. Forgive him for his past but at the same time keep a close eye on him and talk to the girl he is talking to and get her side of the story!
2006-06-08 15:08:49 · answer #10 · answered by Fast Steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋