Can someone please explain what Elizabeth Barrett-Browning's poem "The Lady's Yes" means?

Question

It would be really cool if someone broke it down for me. (Don't get me wrong: the last stanza is pretty clear, but the rest are somewhat baffling.) Cliff's Notes, anyone? A girl sent it to me, and since I'm not the brightest when it comes to poetry, help me out.

Answer 1

I can see how this poem might be difficult for you; some of the language is hard to follow. The general gist of the poem is that this guy asked this lady to love him, and she said yes. Then the next day she recants and tells him no. I suspect that they made love, but this IS 19th century poetry and it's possible that he just asked her to love him. Doubt it though. You asked me to break it down, though, so let's go through it stanza by stanza.

Stanza 1: Last night, this gentleman asked her a question, and she told him 'yes.' The next morning she changes her mind to 'no.' Things look different after you step back from the excitement and have had time to reflect on them.

Stanza 2: There was music (tabors are drums) and a party. They may have been upstairs ('laughs below'), which would hint at love-making. Everything was happy and exciting, and amidst all that, when he said 'love me,' it sounded like a joke, like something of no consequence. Her answer wasn't meant to be taken in complete seriousness.

Stanza 3: Because she changed her mind, says she doesn't love him, he may think she's just a broad - a fickle coquette who'll sleep with (flirt with?) anybody. Whatever, she doesn't care. She just wants to make sure that nobody is able to tell what happened - don't let anyone see that you're angry/disappointed because I've changed my mind.

Stanza 4: Here she says it's both their faults. Dancing and partying is not a good time for true courtship. You don't see clearly, and promises made lightly are subsequenly broken. So if he scorns her for saying yes and then changing her mind, he should understand that it's partly his fault too. He shouldn't have pursued her then.

Stanza 5: You shouldn't try to take advantage of women or trick them into momentary lapses of good judgement. Rather, if you really want a lady, you ought to court her properly. Earning her trust is not easy and ought to be valued highly. Be loyal to her, be serious in pursuing her.

Stanza 6: Don't do it at bright parties where everyone's the charmer. Use truth and simplicity, and you will win her.

Stanza 7: If you do this, if you earn her trust then she shall be true to you as you are to her. Then if you ask her for her love, you can be sure that she truly means it when she says 'yes.'

Hope that helps. I really like E.B.B., even if you sometimes have to read it a couple times to make sure you understand it right.