financially independent?

Question

I have a job that pays about 3x minimum wage, but it's a temp/summer paid internship that I got because the company that acquired my father's company needed an extra hand with accounting and some data entry.

My dad has access to my bank account -- and he transfers money without even telling. this makes me angry, but I dont feel like i can say anything since i would never have landed such an internship without the connection and because he still pays for my tuition. ( i'm paying room and board next year )

at the same time, without his help, i would have found another job, one that paid maybe 40% of what i have now.

When is a good time and under what circumstances am i allowed to declare a little more financial independence? I'm working the hours and I dont really even correspond with him at the office since I'm in a different department.

I dont want to come across sounding like an ungrateful brat -- i just want my dad to stop asking me what i spent 13.06 on in eBay.

i'm 19 btw -- sophomore at USC
(understand the tuition problem?)

in my mind i'm also spending a very responsible amount. $200 - $300 a month which is a breakdown of $50 a week. -- what's left over was enough for him to be able to transfer $10,000 out of my account.

that includes buying meals [for the whole family], ironically -- a father's day gift (this month), passport renewal fee.. things like that. i barely spend because i know he can see.

Answer 1

Hi. I went to USC too (I went to Marshall for my MBA), so I understand completely about the tuition and I sympathize, really I do. But the cold hard reality is that as long as your dad pays your tuition, you're not financially independent. This is especially true if you're also still living under his roof. The people who advocate that you open a separate account simply aren't being realistic in that your dad can simply get the money by reducing the amount of tuition he will pay for.

But at 19, you deserve a measure of independence and privacy regardless of the financial circumstances. You'll have to (respectfully) discuss that with him and see how it goes. If it goes well, fine. If not, then you'll have to make some hard choices.

The job you have has nothing to do with it. Yes, he might have gotten you the job, but if you're doing it competently, then you're earning the pay. There is no need to consider looking for another job. So that's not part of the equation.

The hard choices are this:
1) Get some student loans and pay for tuition yourself, Not a very desireable choice, as you probably don't want to graduate with a bunch of student loans over your head. This is even worse if you intend to get a post-graduate degree.

2) Go to a less expensive school and pay for tuition yourself. This is a viable choice. Plenty of people go to public universities and get a quality education. You won't have the USC network working for you and that's a big deal, but it's certainly not insurmountable.

Anyway, try the discussion with your dad first. At 19, you should be given the opportunity to grow, have some new responsibilities, the opportunity to succeed, and yes, even have the opportunity to fail, if it comes to that. If he refuses and you want to discuss your options some more, click on my name and send me an e-mail and we can discuss it further if you like. Good luck.

Answer 2

Have a good conversation with your dad about your feeling. If he feels that he can access your bank account because he got you the job, then tell him that you wish you would take a less paid job to maintain your individual financial privacy. If he continues, you need to get a new bankaccount and move 75% of your money there.

Answer 3

As soon as you are able to work you are ready to start finanicaly Independents. Since you are now 19 and in college is its time you have control over where you money goes, I would say close your account and open up an new one that your father doesnt have access too. I sorry if my mother transfer money from my account without telling me i would consider that stealing. and she would think likewise of me. after you have set up the new account. go to your father with your concerns and let him know how angry you are. even if he is helping with college funds, that doesnt give him the right to tell you what to do with the money you earn

Answer 4

Simple, you're young, but still seeking Independence. The problem is that... you're still dependent. You have to come to grips with the fact that this period of your life is going to be shrouded in sacrifice. In this instance, you're sacrificing your privacy for a while. Question is: What is your privacy worth? To be blunt, I suggest sucking it up and dealing with him looking over your shoulder. Keep in mind that it's also a way for him to still be a dad. As you get older, you need him for less and less. That's difficult for a parent. He needs to be needed. Eh, deal with it. Like you said, the money is there, and the internship is good. On the other hand, if the lack of privacy is bothering you, have you considered just telling him?.

Answer 5

I understand the frustration ... but the solution is simple. If you are an adult (over 18), just open another bank account, put in the amount you wish from your current check, and make all your purchases from there.

You need not tell your dad which bank, or why the withdrawals every month.

Answer 6

how old are you? if you are over 18 then its not his business anyway.sometimes parents just check stuff like that. tell him you just want a little more privacy in managing your own accouts. it is personal and if they are trying to teach yo how to be an adult then it needs to start sometime. or you can open your own bank account.
parents shouldnt hold things over your head either. like my parents paid my tuition and told me if i ever did this, that or the other they would cancel my tuition. it was resonable and i coul dlive by their rules, but the time finally came where i said, HEY ITS MY MONEY I WILL BUY ALL THE CANDY THAT I WANT WITH IT

Answer 7

Sounds a bit tough. Personally, regardless of what your fateh ris paying for, you should have privacy.
Talkt ohim, tell him it makes you uncomfortable simply b/c it's invading your privacy. If he doesn't agree and gets upset, give him a ew days. If he's still upset, find another job.

Answer 8

You could open another bank account.

You can start declaring more financial independence when he's no longer supporting you.

Answer 9

Go to the bank and start a separate bank account. Then go to HR and cancel the direct deposit.

Answer 10

I would get a second bank account and leave most of your money in there (so he can't get to it).