my 15 yr old son had a female friend the same age as he is come to our house the other evening and asked my son to go for a walk with her. she told him something and asked him not to tell anyone. i don't agree with secrets but my son will not release what it is. i have spoke to him and told him he was a very good friend for not wanting to tell but if the secret will affect the rest of her life he should tell someone. am i right or wrong for wanting to know the secret?
2006-06-08 07:16:05 · 28 answers · asked by lilmisscca 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I wouldnt worry so much about it. They're 15. And its not his secret to share. Friends have a bond that they feel is very solid and arent going to go breaking it because Mommy thinks they shouldnt keep secrets. Let it be.
2006-06-08 07:19:20 · answer #1 · answered by camoprincess32 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know it will affect the rest of her life? Maybe the secret is that she got a tatoo or pierced her belly or something in that nature. Don't immediatley assume it's something catastrophic unless your son hinted at that. If he like/loves her I'm sure he'll try to help her and be the best boyfriend he can be. You seem like a good dad by talking to him about it and being concerned but for that same reason give your son a little credit. I'm sure you've taught him good morals. There's not much you can do to pry it out of him unless you opt for grounding him until he tells you. That doesn't seem fair either huh? He's growing up and as much as you would like to ......you can't control his every move. Just let it be....
2006-06-08 07:25:33 · answer #2 · answered by Wiser now 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya know maybe you should try to accept the fact that your son might have a good friend and let him keep the secret between them but also try to figure something out like figure out what they might be doing together. who knows the secret could also hurt your son in ways. whats important is that you make sure it doesn't get in the way of your sons friendship with that girl. I hope i helped you. good luck!
2006-06-08 09:25:03 · answer #3 · answered by supersportyshorty07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First trust your son, you know how you raised him so you should have faith in him to know that he probably gave her the best advice he could give..It's something about him that she can confide in to make her come to him in the first place...Be patient with time he'll tell you or start asking unsual questions about certain things. Don't force keep going on like you are not paying it any mind...Be nice to the girl when she comes over maybe she needs a adult to talk to and is afraid, make her feel comfortable with you incase it is something serious and she needs to talk... Also, make sure he and she hasn't had any involvement not trying to be a a** whole, but she could be pregnant..
2006-06-08 07:25:18 · answer #4 · answered by Why 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you are wrong. At 15 they don't understand that if they confide in an adult they can help. It may be serious. Maybe she was raped or is pregnant. Maybe you should sit down with her and tell her that you know there is something she does not want to tell. But that if she confides in you, you will help her the best way you can. I don't hink that it should be about wanting to know the secret. I think it should be about helping her out.
2006-06-08 07:23:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st...How do you know he was told a secret? Did you pry into what he was talking to his friend about? He's 15, assuming he's responsible, ya gotta give him some latitude. 2nd....just ask him this...will this secret negatively affect the lives of him, her or someone else. If he say No, no one is or is going to be robbed, molested or killed or commit suicide or anything like that....then just leave it alone. His friend must trust him, you should too.
2006-06-08 07:28:26 · answer #6 · answered by For Real 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're wrong, of course your going to want to know what the secret is but dont alway expect the wrost its proabaly just a little secret that doesn't matter and you should not have asked him so many times he is going; to get sick of that and your pushing yourself away from him. and if he really wants to tell someone he will prabaly not tell you he would proabally tell a friend. but i understand why you might wrong it makes since your just being a good parent. butwhen he is ready to tell he will ,maybe. sorry if any of this was i little harsh but its the truth.
2006-06-08 08:51:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant pressure him to tell u his friends secret its wrong....If she needs help he will probally come to u if u sorta bak off....All teens have secrets even those close to thier parents(mom or dad) i tell my mom almost everything but i stil have secrets the thing is he probally made a promise dont mkae him break just because ur nosey or courious(no offense) just let him know your there if anything happens or goes wrong
2006-06-09 04:26:43 · answer #8 · answered by Shameka E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him these questions.... Is she pregnant? Is she being abused? Is she getting enough to eat?
If its not anything that falls in those catergories, then its none of your business. I know its hard to not know, but you just have to hope you raised him to be a good friend. Ask if there is anything you can do to help support him helping a friend. Otherwise, you just ave to back off and hope he'll make the right choices.
2006-06-08 07:35:42 · answer #9 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A 15 year old with a secret is not unusual. He does need to respect his friends privacy and I think you should too. Although you should advise him that his friend should confide in someone older if it is serious.
2006-06-08 08:24:28 · answer #10 · answered by Evil J.Twin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋