I need an opinion.?

Question

My husband and I are having marital problems. and i want to go to counseling and he only wants to go so the therapist can tell me what a horrible person i am. my husband doesn't beat or anything but he gets all frustrated and mad over lil things. and takes it out on me. gets all mad cause we don't have alot of money left over after the bills are paid. he won't help with any work around the house. i feel like he doesn't really care for our newborn baby cause she's a girl and has colic (really fussy). he gets mad cause i don't care to have sex as much as we did before our first child. he always gets all caught up in the drama his family creates which we live VERY close to and they all like to borrow money from eachother. and one of the things that made me EXTREMELY pissed was, he co-signed for a car for his DAD and didn't tell me until after it was said and done. and then almost did it AGAIN. but it didn't work out. thank god. sorry so long. i need an opinion.

Answer 1

Go to counseling...it might work...good luck.

Answer 2

Okay, I know this might sound awful to you, but SUBMIT to him. Show him respect in your words and actions. Stop nagging him about his family. Have more sex with him. Don't worry--he will love his baby, and that little girl is going to NEED her father, so you need to keep your marriage together.

Don't think that submitting will make you a doormat. It won't. A husband who feels respected by his wife will go out of his way to make her happy. Rarely does a man abuse the power that is given to him by a wife who is willing to submit to him. He will be less frustrated and more willing to help around the house because he'll feel like it's HIS choice.

Give it a few weeks before you expect results. It takes most husbands awhile to see that the change is permanent and they can relax. The change is worth it, though. It saved my marriage several years ago and now my daughter has a father who loves her and is a good role model for her.

Read "The Surrendered Wife" if you're not a Christian and "The Excellent Wife" if you are. Either way, God's plan for marriage will work and you will both be happier.

Blessings,
Leah

Answer 3

Sounds like you both want to go to counseling, so I think you should go. He has honestly admitted that his motive for going is to show you that he is right and you are wrong. If you were to be honest wouldn't you say the same thing - that you want the therapist to agree with you that he is a horrible person? No fair shopping for a therapist who is predisposed to agree with you. Perhaps if you went to a fair counselor you both would see where you need to improve, as I'm sure you both do.

By the way, men usually care for girl babies more than the do boy babies. Your husband sounds immature, but I hope you will understand when I say that you sound immature as well. Yep, he isn't perfect, and neither are you.

Answer 4

Hello
First of all you need to find a counselor and therapist that will be unbiased and will listen to both of you and help the both of you. Try to find a Christian counselor or therapist... This would be the best way to go if you know what i mean. I can see both of your sides here an i am here to talk if you ever need to. Here is a great website to find counseling at. http://www.marriagetoday.org and you can also email them and talk to them as well and ask them for prayer and help. I also run a list called letstalkmarriage at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/letstalkmarriage Hope this helps some today!

Answer 5

You can see a counselor yourself, you're going through one of the toughest times a couple can have, that little bundle of joy really changes all aspects of your life, he's not #1 any more and some guys get jealous. Plus, you're more tired now and not up for all the chores, then staying up half the night pleasing him. He's gotta step up and help, he'll figure that out eventually. In the meantime, do something for yourself.

Answer 6

Look your marriage sounds like most of the marriages that are trying to get by.... don't be so hard on yourself financial issues come and go... but right now the most important thing is your children's well beign. If the situation is really getting out of hand seek good christian counseling. I hope things get better for you.

Answer 7

counseling is only going to work if you are both willing to step back and take a look are yourselves and how you treat eachother. you have to be honest with yourselves in order for anything to be resolved. it's not about pointing fingers. i think it would be a very good idea for the two of you, but he needs to realize what is involved or it will be a waste of time. hope this helps:)