what i hate about myself and wanting to over come it?? serious answers to please...thx?

Question

the fact that i help other people with their problems and inabilities before even thinking of myself...i know that sounds bad and all but sometimes i need to think of myself first and above all at times when it really matters...like for ex: i just recently got back with my ex after 5 months....she was a stripper..the whole reason for breaking up...we got back together...she quite because of me, saying she loves me and all that crap...point is that my roommates have come to me noticing a drastic change in my direction in my life...and its opened my eyes...my roommate said that before we got back together...i was always talking about new jobs, and bugging him about school, cause we were going to take a couple classes in august, and since we're back together, that whole talk has come to a screeching hault... and for what!!?!?!? i put all my time and energy into other people that im virtually exhausted now...has anyone felt this way or had this happen to them? how did you over come it? thx

Answer 1

I've went through exactly what you're going through my entire life! I'm 27 yrs. old and as a young child, I played mediator for my family due to alcoholism, and played a large role in helping my baby sister have a half way normal life. Just recently, 1 year and a half ago, I moved out of state (away from these people who've always depended on me) to begin a new life for myself and wonderful daughter. That was the first step, for me, escaping. I wasn't running away, I just couldn't handle the pressures of grown folks (especially parents) relying on me to help them through their own dramas. It's okay to give advise, but you cannot put others' concerns in front of your own-EVER! If you're not happy, how in hell do you expect to make other's happy??? I've tried my whole life, and am just now realizing it's NEVER going to work. You can't live your life for other people. Do whatever it takes to acheive your ultimate happiness and if people want to follow YOU, and they won't get in the way of plans and dreams you have for yourself, let 'em tag along. But if others aren't supportive of what you choose, you don't need to concern yourself with them. It's a waste of your time and all it does is slow your plans down. It's okay to care about people, but here's the order of importance (as far as people go) to me...
#1 God
#2 Self
#3 Family
#4 Friends
Even though she quit her job 'for you', she should've quit her job for her or done it while you guys had problems with it to begin with. Now you've done all this planning to better your life and she wants to walk back in like you're just supposed to drop everything? She wasn't willing to do that for you before...Like I said, if she loves you, she'll support any dreams or goals you've set for yourself, if not, just let her go.

I hope I've helped some...

Answer 2

I am always doing that and I am still doing that. With me, everyone is more important. I put my life on hold for other peoples problems and when I have a problem nobody cares. If I ever do something for myself, I get looked at as selfish, when I'm probably the least selfish out of my friends. It's good that you put others before yourself, but you can't let it get to the point people take advantage of you. You can't really overcome it and if you can then I'm still trying to find a way. Just go with what feels right. Going to school is important. Being a good person isn't a flaw, if fact we need more of them. You just need to set some boundaries for yourself. HOPE THIS HELPS

Answer 3

I know a lot of people like that and they are all miserable. When you put moving your life ahead, making it better, on hold for a romantic relationship, you better be really sure it's the RIGHT one. I have a BIL that does great, but whenever a female is in his life, he spends all his money on her, not his bills; calls her all the time, fixes her life and misses out on his own, his kids, his friends, the things that make him enjoy his own self. The girls? They always, ALWAYS leave him. No one enjoys a carpet that lets you walk all over them. This girl probably knows that you will do and act however you think she expects. But when she finds someone else, you are history. Trust me when I say, most women do NOT like a man who lies down and lets them walk all over them. Not for long.

Answer 4

some situations your no longer happy being you so your growing to be a digital self and collaborating in it out write a itemizing of each of the failings you like approximately your self and not discover out who you're to your self that is that unitentionaly you're performing out to conceal from your self and confident it is uncomplicated like once you be responsive to your feeling undesirable yet you act happy around particular human beings kinda like faking it eventially you convince yourseld you do no longer experience that undesirable that kind of outrage. the two that or your great at performing mimicing those you spot you ought to use it to your benefit and do proffesional class you will make a futune doing what comes of course a million/2 your success each of the main suitable desire this helped

Answer 5

my mom was like that but then she said "nope STOP! im putting my self first!" i am pround of her for that. =)