My boyfriend is very sweet....?

Question

he is sooo sweet 2 me, but he get pre-occupied with other things (computer/tv) when we r on the phone, & it annoys me 2 death! It sounds needy & selfish, but sometimes i just want his full attention! If i tell him, he gets upset, but stil tries 2 b sweet about it. help!

Answer 1

Have you ever thought that it isn't that he doesn't want to give you his full attention but he simply doesn't enjoy talking on the phone for long periods of time? Some people need to do something while talking on the phone, especially if it is is for more than a few minutes. If this is your only problem with him then you are blowing things way out of perspective and need to rethink your priorities.

Answer 2

WOW does this remind me of me when I was about this person's age. :) I'm 38 now, but when I was 17-18, I had a boyfriend who spent a lot more time with his computer than I did, and it bugged me.

Years later, I've gained a bit of perspective. What bothered me about him was that he really loved his computer, an inanimate object, in a way that he didn't love, and maybe couldn't love, me. I'm not saying this has anything to do with your situation; I'm just telling you how it was with me, so you can see if there are any parallels at all.

Anyway, he liked his computer because it was something that could be controlled; I was a living, breathing, complex human who could not be controlled. He loved his computer because he could interact with it anytime he wanted, and it never demanded his attention -- unlike me, who wanted more interaction than he wanted at times, and who sometimes demanded that he interact with me rather than his computer.

I agree with what the previous poster said: find your own hobbies and interests. Don't depend solely on him to meet your emotional needs or your social needs.

In fact, you might try getting into something so absorbing and interesting that you forget to call him and let him see how he likes it. Then maybe when the shoe is on the other foot, and he sees how much he misses you, he might pay more attention to you.

And if you get involved in your hobbies and interest and he still doesn't want that much interaction, then sorry to say he might just not be that into you, and may be way more into his computers and his own stuff. You will have to decide then if you keep him and accept him how he is, or break up and move on.

I know it won't be that easy, especially when your heart is involved, so good luck. I hope you two can work it out and come to some kind of reasonable compromise where you spend enough time together to satisfy both of you, so no one is resentful. And I hope that you both tend to your own lives and your outside interests and other friends, too, so you won't put too much pressure on the other person to be "everything" in the relationship.

Good luck! Cheers, K

Answer 3

Thats life. You cant have it all. If you push to hard then things will get screwy and then you will compain more and fights etc will destroy it all. If you both love eaother truely, sit down and talk about it and manke minor changes slowley and things will get better but please dont expect a world of cahnge overnight or ASAP. it wont happen. Remember that a person should not try to change another and a person will only change if they wat to. Careing, love and communication is the KEY. Good luck.........

Answer 4

try to change the subject into more interesting things . what u told it`s a sign he probably doesn`t get interested enough . or try when he`s doing that again to tell him " i will call u later when u`ll be over with yr work . i don`t want to disturb u sweety "

Answer 5

never changes hun even when you get married. just have to deal with it if you love him good luck

Answer 6

so is my husband sweet-heart. i don't have an answer for this. that's my question also.