I apolgize, but this is a really long family question. Please help me!?

Question

Last night, the day I got out of school 06.07.06., my dad pulled the last straw, he is always letting my brother get away with things, buying him very expensive items like high quality bow and arrows all the time, he is also always taking him to places that my brother would enjoy, he says I can come along, but he knows I don't want to go to the specific place. He also lets my brother get away with anything he wants. If he knocked my best friend over onto the ground and dammaged her already broken leg(SS), my dad would just laugh alot and say jokingly, leave the girls alone. Last night he:
1) Fliped my friend off the hammock she was swinging on, (a diffrent friend [KS])
2) Threw lots of water balloons at my friend with a broken leg, SS
3) Threw a volly ball at me

My dad just laughed at everything, I haven't spoken to him or my brother in abou 12-15 hours, what should I do?

I cant do what he does to me because I would be grounded, or worse for life

I can't move out because I'm 12 years old.

My mom says she's doing something, but she's not, she warns my brother, but she doesn't do anything else.

*note: My dad respects no one, and I have no reletives any where near my state. I live in ID, my closest reletive that I could talkto is in Wisconsion.

Answer 1

If you've already talked to your dad about how frustrating it is that he is lacking discipline in your brothers upbringing then you need to do it again this time more aggressively. Talk to your brother your self about what he's doing. Talk to other parents even and have them talk to your dad. Sometimes it is more effective if an adulty heres things like that from a peer.

Also tell your dad that you would like to spend some time with him alone. Make a father daughter night twice a week. And when you do he may be more receptive to your criticism.

Where's your mom? Is she not able to talk to your dad? How about your grandparents?

Talk to a counselor and take it into your own hands to set up a family counselor...maybe then they'll se how serios this is and stop ingnoring the matter. If they don't go, and youre brother continues to be abusive call the police on him and then they won't think it's so funny...I bet your dad respects the law, right. Good luck.

Answer 2

Probably your Dad has an easier time relating to your brother than to you because you are a girl. That may not be fair, but it is reality. I would start by sitting down with your father and talking to him. Let him know that how you feel. Tell him that you want to spend time with him too but that you are having some trouble with the double standard. Listen to what he says back. Try to keep him from getting defensive by offering solutions. Try to work out a solution that will work for both of you by focusing on specific things that he can work on. This means don't say thing like "you never listen", instead try, "when I tried to tell you that my brother was hurting me you just laughed." The difference lets him know what exactly bothered you.

Is your mom or step-mom in the picture? If after talking to your dad nothing changes, you should try talking to her or another adult that he respects.

Answer 3

I'm not sure how old you are but it actually sounds like you are handling this in a mature way from the way you worded your question. I think you should bypass your brother all together and sit down and have a talk with just your dad. Explain to him that you don't think it is fair that your brother treats you and your friends that way and it really hurts your feelings. (Make sure you do this calmly and don't yell or get too angry). Tell your dad you dont want your brother to continue treating you and your friends that way, and since your brother wont listen to you, you would like your dad to put a stop to it. Your dad obviously doesn't know it is bothering you so much, because if he did, he would probably tell your brother to cut it out. If your mom is around, you might want to get her involved and explain to her how you feel, too.

Answer 4

Pardon my french, but your dad is a shiza heel. Do you have a mother? If so, tell her how you feel, she might be able to talk to your dad and get him to listen. If not, the only other options I see, are
1.) Talk with your dad, have a serios conversation, and tell him about what this is doing to your relationship.
or,
2.) Beat your brother at his own game. Prank him. Your a girl, and you should be naturally clever, it should be no problem if you really try.

As far as your dad buying stuff for your sib, it's better that way, you'll grow up to be less materialistic, which is always a good quality.

Answer 5

Tell your dad you guys need to talk. Tell him " Dad, how come ___ ( your brothers name) always gets away with things? He broke my friends leg, he threw water balloons at them, and flipped them off a hammock.Why do you always laugh at that? It's not funny, that's serious. I mean, you try being my friends and have YOUR leg broken! Don't you even care?" Practice this until you can say it 5 times without looking, and say it to him. Don't stop after you say a little bit. Keep talking, he needs to know it ain't FUNNY!
~*Alyssa*~

Answer 6

Have you spoken with your mother about this situation? If your brother is younger than you, hopefully this is just a phase. Sounds as though your dad is trying to "buy" your brother's affection. Wouldn't hurt to have a 'sitdown' talk with your dad when your brother is not around. Express your concerns.

Answer 7

It sounds like your family, and especially for father, needs some major counseling. Your father has certain responsibilities that he needs to live up to and isn't. He is neglecting his fatherly duties and is being unfair to you. If you have already told your mother then why isn't she doing anything about this? Some of the things you have described him doing do borderline on being criminal and if he continues he could find himself in some major trouble. I'm a graduate student majoring in psychology and working on my Ph.D. If you need someone to talk with feel free to drop me a line.

Answer 8

I take it your dad's a single parent, perhaps he either doesn't know how to be with girls or he never wanted a girl and sees you as a nuisance, but he should really treat you both equally. If your mum is still around then why not stay with her? Or perhaps another relative, until your dad grows up a bit.

Answer 9

how old are you? your age will make a difference on what you should or could do. but if you are a minor and not close to legal age of 18 then just ignore them and when you get older and have a job you move out.

Answer 10

Sweetie you need to tell your dad how it makes you feel when he lets your brother do things that hurt you or hurt friends. Tell him also you don't want him hurting you or your friends anymore and it is not funny.