He says he still loves me, but he's not in love with me. I'm still in love with him. He comes over everyday to see the kids. He has broken my heart so completely that I don't think that I will ever trust anyone again. He was my heart and soul and he took that away from me.
2006-06-08 05:15:10 · 27 answers · asked by Unloved 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Give yourself lots of time to heal. That hurts like crazy I know because I have been there. Once you heal, and it will take a long time to happen, but then you can start to live and trust again. Good Luck! I'm sorry he hurt you so badly.
2006-06-08 05:23:20 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, for your own sanity, see a minister, clergy, counselor, what ever. If u are not healthy mentally or physically because of this, u cannot expect ur children to be. Do not put this on your children. Use positive speach when talking to the children about this. If u can leave them out for now, that is best. They do not need to know the detail of why daddy does not live with u anymore, or why he is seeing someone else. Do not stay together 'because of the children'. This will slap you back in the face. And, u will have wasted valueable years with that attitude. I love you, or I am in love with you, makes no difference as to what he says. He will do this time and time again, and only destroy you. I talk from experience, many many years ago. G L and God Bless You.
2006-06-08 05:25:56 · answer #2 · answered by LELA M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go talk to a counselor. Not as a couple. By yourself. Tell the counselor everything that is going on and be completely open and honest. I went when I was having problems and it helped me so much to let it out to someone with an objective opinion. Chances are, both of you are really confused right now. You have a life together, and trying to separate that life into two is going to be hard. He needs to stop coming over to the house for a while, and if he loves you still as he says he does, he'll respect your wishes for that. I know he still needs to be a father, but right now you need to continue to be a mother, and to do that while nursing a broken heart isn't fair. Without him being around, you'll be able to sort things through a little better. Good luck with whatever ends up happening, and I know you'll find your happiness with someone! Keep smiling and keep busy as much as you can, but don't be afraid to let it hurt a little bit, too.
2006-06-08 05:23:20 · answer #3 · answered by lizwatson109 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, actually you have just said what a thousand women say all the time,...."he has broken your heart completely"...now thats a cop out!......your heart shouldnt have been breakable or offered up to be broken, who's fault is that?......Usually a man wont leave his woman for another woman unless the other woman has something to offer that the first woman doesnt. think about that. there's a reason for the madness here and if you cant live up to something you did or didnt do, then your broken heart will stay broken and you will remain unhappy. So, figure out what happened and go on with your life.....The kids arent a good reason to stay married "for you"...it might be for the kids, but then again it might not be, you may be very lucky and just not realize it.
2006-06-08 05:32:13 · answer #4 · answered by theoregonartist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband left you long before he left physically. If he decided that "home and family" was not what he wanted anymore, then he should not be allowed to come and go as he pleases.
If he is still coming over every day to see the children, then you need to stop that. Get to a lawyer and have him set up a Legal Separation Agreement. This will outline visitation rights, financial payments to you and to your children, as well as disbursement of all assets until the divorce is final.
If he left you for another woman, then he has no rights to what he left......he should not be able to benefit from something he deemed was not what he wanted. So, don't let him.
Get to an attorney as soon as possible.
2006-06-08 05:21:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now is the time to put your feeling aside and focus on your kids needs and your future. You need to get a good lawyer, file for seperation/divorce,and file for child support immediately, get everything on paper. Attend a workshop that help women and men going through divorce. Go find a church and get involved. Start traveling and take your baby with you. Go back to school, go to the gym and work out the sadness that's within you. Because you're going to experience changes inside of you. Remember to stay focus and remain calm. Don't let what he say mess with your head. He will probably tell you a lot of things to make sure you don't file for child support. But you have to do what you have to do since he's not in love with you.
2006-06-08 05:49:12 · answer #6 · answered by pradavee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you divorced? If you are take some time out for yourself (by yourself); one thing you cannot do is control adult people...it cuts deep when something like that happens...thank God he has not abandoned his children like he did you...you have to go on with your life. Your children need you more than ever...no matter your feelings in this--put your children first. You do not know when or if he may stop coming around to see his children---(don't you wonder now if the marriage vows were just "words" to him)? What kind of double talk is that (he "loves" you, but he's not in love with you)?He's full of crap.
2006-06-08 05:30:55 · answer #7 · answered by Pooks 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget him and move on with your kids. He's a dirt bag and you deserve better. why would you want someone who clearly doesn't want you. I know it's hard but you can do it. You will trust again. Start off by not allowing him to visit the kids in your home. If you can trust him with the kids, let him take them for a couple of hours , or the day. This will make it easier for you.
2006-06-08 05:23:33 · answer #8 · answered by phillymami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been there done that and I am only 30 years old. If your husband left you, than take it just as that. He left you. If he does not want to be with you than you can't make him. I know it hurts bad. It will take a long time to get over it too, especially if you see him all the time. My best suggestion is to move on even if it is hard. First step get a legal separation.
2006-06-08 05:23:01 · answer #9 · answered by WONSWTGRL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off...I would like to say I am very sorry to hear about your situation. I can only imagine how hurt you must be. I personally think both you and him may need to see a counselor for some advice. I would hope this would not end in divorce, but unfortunately alot of marriages nowadays end with these types of situations. Even if it does, you still have your children and you should always be thankful for that.
Take care!
2006-06-08 05:19:39 · answer #10 · answered by LarryGuy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋