What would you do when you've been humiliated at work?

Question

Someone at work (a good friend) has been accusing me of things for awhile, and yesterday was my breaking point and i decided to confront her thru a letter. She ended up printing it out and letting everyone read it. She brought everyone in the conference room (except for the ones that supported me and witnesses), and nobody couldn't remember any incidents that I spoke off, and made me look like a fool! I swallowed my pride, and I apologized to her in the end - even when i felt that i was the victim. now i can't shake this feeling of looking lke a fool in front of everyone but at the same time don't want her to see that she took away my dignity, please help me feel better. Advise anyone?! I've been wanting to get another job, but should i wait it off, so they won't think i'm leaving for these reasons and make her look like a hero?

Answer 1

1. Confront the person, ask them to stop
2. Inform the supervisor
3. If the above don't work, try looking for a new job.

Answer 2

SHE HAD NO RIGHT TO DO THAT. How horrible you must have felt and I feel your pain. I've been in humiliating situations at work that were pretty bad too and unfortunately there isn't a lot you can do about it. This is why I always say that one of the things that is a happy factor at work is your co-workers and if they are all nice people then you are in better shape. UNFORTUNATELY, women and women together at work sometimes can be nasty. I'm a female - I am now working with mostly men and what a difference!!!!! I'm sorry you had to apologize and I'm sure you did this to make things easier but you also kind of admitted to being wrong and she was so very wrong for showing people that letter. I'm mad FOR YOU TOO.
Hang in there and try to find a job where there aren't anymore back-stabbing women. They're all over the place. The one thing that makes us look like the "bad sex" - LOL

Answer 3

Dont quit the job or else u will give them the reason to believe that u left because of the humiliation. Throw a huge office party and let every one know that u have been too hard on every one and it is ur way of showing appreciation to every one for being such good collegues (not really but it is all a stunt to gain ur kool points back). Besides people love parties. Make it a one dish party or a white "T" party. This way people will tend to forget the whole humiliation and start to favor u a lil more then the other person.

Answer 4

Better speak to that person about all these events and ask her what she is up to. If you both are able to solve the problem between you, then you may start talking to each other and behave normal. This will automatically make others feel cool and no one is going to give a single thought on this event. Believe me this works maximum times.

If it really does not work then best option is to get a new job. Forget about what others think. Anyway they are not going to meet you or bug you once you are out of this company.

Further make sure that you stand to what you say and what you do. Do not keep any loop holes for anything till you are in this nonsense corporate world. Think a lot before making any decision or taking any step.

Take Care. Best wishes for your future

Answer 5

This is "a good friend"? I don't think so.

Also, a letter is NOT "confronting" anyone. Confronting is standing in front of them and telling them what you think, not writing letters. And that was your first mistake.

Your second mistake was apologizing. For what, exactly? By doing that, you've basically admitted that your letter was wrong, you were wrong, and she was right. Saying anything else at this point will only make it worse.

You've left yourself with nothing to do but either cut and run, or live with the humiliation. It will pass given time, but it will take a while.

Answer 6

I would look for another job in a situation like that.

There is nothing worse than having to spend 8 hours a day every day among people who are not nice to you.

You have to remember that workplace is not a democracy. And you often don't have a lot of rights there. And in that kind of situation you have to do your best to maintain good relations with your co-workers. And when that becomes very difficult or impossible, then the only reasonable way to solve this problem is to move on to another job.

Answer 7

I agree with Shae, if there is one mistake you made the most was CONFRONTING HER THRU A LETTER, that's a hard evidence that everyone can look at. Second was, APOLOGIZING! You made it look like she was SO RIGHT, and you WERE SO WRONG. Either way, just play it low, let it pass, if she keeps on bringing it up, DRAG HER TO THE PAPER SHREDDER until she torns into pieces! That should solve the problem! Or consider finding a new job.
lol
The nerve of that fool.

Answer 8

Your first mistake was confrontation through a letter, I'm sure her accusations were all verbal so there was no paper trail. Sounds like a smart one to me. play it low for awhile and see if most people let it go if not then move on.

Answer 9

She really isn't a good friend after this humiliation. What was she trying to gain out of this? Let everything calm down and if you say you have been wanting to get another job, go ahead with your plan.

Answer 10

I would go over her head and tell the boss he/she better put a stop to this employee harassing me or else this company is setting themselves up for a law suit. There are alot of attorney's that will do anything for a dollar and the one thing they do not want me to do is find one. I would stand my ground and let her know she will quit her job before I will.