i really love both of them and we are seeing eachother as friends coz hubby doesnt know anything abt our love
2006-06-08 04:38:08 · 11 answers · asked by hii 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I so know what you mean, i am in the right same situation, i love my lover and i love my husband, i love them both in a very different way, me an dmy lover are best friends in everyones eyes, but behind closed doors we are lovers, we have gone through so much and is hard to manage that kind of situation, specially because i know my lover gets the worst part of the deal, as he can only be with me, when i have the time too, i love my l over so much that actually last weekend, we agreed to call it quits, we are just friends now, which is not dificult at all as before even we were lover, we both were the best of friends for real too, but i just didnt think it was fair on him, nor my husband nor anyone so we decided to be friends, i will not tell you it doesnt hurt, because even we are still friends, we dont "share" the intimacy and sexual closeness, but let me advice you that if you love your lover so much, let him go, what you and him have will never be forgotten and im sure you both will still be friends and cherish past moments.
2006-06-08 04:53:18 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs D 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
How long have you been with your husband?
Either way its not really important, the thing is you are already cheating on him by not being honest with him. You can't pretend that you are friends with this guy because that's not really what you want from each other. Its not fair to your husband to not know about him, you are lying to him with your heart, and that is the lowliest form of lying. If you are really in love with this other guy, then leave your husband. If you can't leave your husband, THEN YOU CAN'T HAVE YOUR LOVER ON THE SIDE. It's either or, you can't do both. You made a committment to your husband, to stick with him through everything and you're not. It's ok to have a change of heart, but at least be honest, he at least deserves that much from you. But think thoroughly why you want to be with this other guy. Is it because someone else is interested in you? Because it brings back feelings that you used to have with your husband? Because you didn't think you still had it in you to get someone else? Is it the thrill? If you answer yes to any of these questions, then seriously reconsider your reasons for being "in love" with the other guy. Also if you're having problems with your husband, then that could be why you were looking elsewhere for love. Either way, look past those reasons and either honor your committment and work things out with your husband, or leave him to be with the other guy. You can't do both, can you imagine if it was being done to you? If your husband's coworker was his lover too? Yeah doesnt feel too nice right. Do things the right way and be honest with your feelings and with the other people.
2006-06-08 11:48:37 · answer #2 · answered by Marvelous M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One big problem here is the Lover. Has this man asked you to leave your husband? No, I didn't think so. There are MANY men who love having relationships with married women. Many married woman are hungry for sex, and need constant reassurance that they are "still" beautiful. The lover on the other hand gets hot, wild, lustful "forbidden" sex. He doesn't have to pay for a date, he doesn't have to buy any gifts, he doesn't have to help clean the house...he just gets the "good stuff". If you do a little research, you'll find he's had affairs before. He'll continue to move on. You are not his only toy...he has many.
2006-06-08 12:34:21 · answer #3 · answered by mslorikoch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is messed up. How can you bring your lover around your husband? Think about his feelings rather than your own. If you are seeing someone else, you at least need to separate from your husband and take time to decide who you'd rather be with. This is not only your life you're messing with, it's two other people. though if the other guy knows you're married, he probably don't have much honor anyway.
2006-06-08 11:42:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why cant you leave your hubby? If you REALLY love this other guy, you dont really love your hubby, and vise virsa. You HAVE to make a choice, you can not have your cake and eat it too. and if I was this other guy, and you DID leave your hubby and married him, I would worry you would do the same to me. If you and hubby are having issues, you need to leave this other guy alone, and work on the marriage.
2006-06-08 11:44:31 · answer #5 · answered by mojo0520 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have two choices...
1. leave the other guy and stop the affair...
2. let your 'hubby' get himself a girlfriend...
if you can live with your husband having sex with another woman then have an 'open marriage' if not then quit being a hypocrite and move on...
2006-06-08 11:49:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make a choice. Either get divorced and take a chance with this guy or stop seeing this guy and stay true to your husband. You know what your doing is wrong or you wouldn't be asking what to do so don't continue this without making a choice.
2006-06-08 11:46:31 · answer #7 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men love to fu*k married gurls. My grandma always said, why buy the cow if you get the milk for free? Its true with us guys who screw married woman. I don't want the cow...just the milk and it's free, warm and juicy. I would never marry any of the married ladies I screw. Heck they cheat with their current husband, they will cheat on me! Just a good Lay is all.
2006-06-08 12:43:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont love either... you can't. leave them both, they each deserve someone who CAN love them
2006-06-08 11:46:21 · answer #9 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being selfish and deceitful, he should leave you.
2006-06-08 11:42:13 · answer #10 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋