why do they suck?

Question

Why does doctors suck so bad? I'm talking about my dad and doctors that are parents. So my dad is a surgeon, and he makes tons of money to support my family. BUT he forgot my birthday, he asked me when its coming up when it was last month. He wasnt even at christmas last time because he got a call from the hospital. He gives me money to go shopping with, but everything that i want i already have. I know his patients are grateful for him because he saved their lives. But there is no way in hell that im grateful for him because hes never there for me. Who agrees with me?

Answer 1

Stop complaining, there are inner city kids who have nothing and drug addicted parents who pay no attention to them whatsoever. You've got it easy, just roll with it.

Answer 2

You need to adjust your attitude. Not that you are wrong to feel the way you do, because your feelings can never be termed "WRONG" by anyone. Since, you feel so strongly volunteer to be a mentor to a child younger than you, that is not as privileged, A child who perhaps doesn't have a father who supports a home life for the child. I know you feel unappreciated and perhaps unloved, but believe me the circumstances of your life could be far worse.
You may not currently appreciate the life lessons your parents are giving you at this time, but you will find as you grow that you have learned commitment, perseverance,productivity, responsibility. Also, I would suggest that you speak with your Mother or perhaps other siblings or family members about your feelings.
Make an appointment with your dad, spend the day with him, let him know how much you appreciate the lifestyle his work has afforded you, but that it cannot replace the need you have to have him just spend time with you. Surely, you have family vacations, perhaps you could schedule a week-end trip or just an afternoon with with your dad. Does he have any outside activities, such a golfing? Write him a letter.

Answer 3

I agree with you as I grew up the same way. I don't think people who are or have not been in the situation can understand. My mother missed ALL of my special events when I was growing up. I would gladly have given up every material possession to have just an hour of her time. Yes, I went to private school, had many material things, never went hungry and had a roof over my head. I am very grateful for that. However, NOTHING replaces a parent who is truly interested in their child and nothing can bring back those once in a lifetime moments she missed.

Keep your head up and remember that there is nothing wrong with wanting a parent to be your parent before s/he is Saviour of the Universe. It's not an unrealistic expectation. It is just one, for whatever reason, some parents are not willing to fulfill.

Answer 4

I can understand your frustration but, you have to remember, your father is a surgeon. He's on call 24/7 I assume.
I know that it sucks not to have him around on special occasions but that's part of his job. Unfortunately for you, you father chose a profession that chews up much of his time 365 days a year.
You might want to think about putting yourself in his situation. Could you or would you say no to a dying patient so that you could spend a birthday with your son or daughter. Could you live with your decision if you chose the latter?

Answer 5

You have it a lot easier than you will ever know or fully be able to appreciate (maybe when you're older). Try to be grateful that you have such a hard-working parent. Some people on this very service, have had worse family situations - though I'm sure that doesn't help w/your lack of closeness, etc.

Answer 6

I agree with you. It's not just doctors, though. It's any father who puts so much into what he does outside of the home that he's very good or even great at what he does. But the people left at home are the ones who miss out. My father has always been the same as how you describe yours and I use to do whatever I could to get his approval, sometimes even his notice.
It's going to be tough growing up with a father who's there and not there for you. Just don't grow up thinking he doesn't like you or you aren't good enough for him. If you are as much like your dad as I am like mine at younger ages, it may also be he doesn't like himself.

Answer 7

Too bad, sound like you're spoiled by substituting material things for quality time.

Your Dad worked very hard to train for his career, it is difficult to stop thinking and caring the way he has.

You may need to try and talk with him about things that interest him more than yourself to "Get the ball rolling". If you're still in school, I'm sure he is interested in your progress, that is something he CAN relate to in your world.

You should be thankful though that he is there. There are so many childred who don't know their own father, or the father neglects them for far less noble causes.

Answer 8

Man, some people have no feelings on here. I feel for you. As a parent, at the end of my life, on my death bed, I would rather know that I put my kids first, not my job. Yeah it's great that he's able to save lives, but it's a job, and a job is tool to make a good life for your family and to allow you to be able to enjoy that life as a family. Talk to him, I'd want my kids to be honest with me.

Answer 9

I suggest you talk to your father and tell him how you feel. If things do not get better then you have to accept the fact that he is what he is. Its better to have a decent father then no father at all. No parent is perfect as no child is perfect. Enjoy the fact that your family is happy and healthy. Communication is always the key to a great relationship.

Answer 10

If I were you , I would get a job and earn enough money to get a fishin license, and a case of beer and invite pops out for a day of fishin. Just you, him, n mother nature. He would get a much needed break from work and you would have an awesome oppotunity to get stuff off your chest. If this works out you could make an annual thing of it

Speed Slow
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Answer 11

You are spoiled by him. His career must come first. You should be thankful that your dad is such a great provider for his family. Maybe you should see your dad at work occassionally. Like, eat lunch with him in the cafeteria.