I know for a fact that my friend is cheating on her husband. With several men. Her husband is my husband's best friend. I feel like I should tell him, but it would ruin my friendship. It might also ruin his with my husband. I am totally against cheating in any situation. This girl has it made and her husband worships the ground she walks on. I don't want to see him hurt, but I think he deserves to know. What would you do?
2006-06-08 03:27:46 · 42 answers · asked by *~*~*~*~* 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Talk to your friend and let her know how you feel about her behavior. Maybe just distance yourself from her if she's not interested in changing. Talk to your pastor and ask for guidance in the meantime all you can do is pray for her.
I wouldn't tell my husband or her husband. It will only make matters worse and make you look like the bad guy.
2006-06-08 03:31:59 · answer #1 · answered by shae 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think you're right, he deserves to know. However, since you're the wife of his best friend, it might be hard to hear it coming from you. It might come across like you and her are laughing about it over drinks down at the local Red Lion. Go to him with your husband in tow if you can, and if not, with another guy. Don't badger your husband into it, if he doesn't want to go, he'll just end up saying it's al your idea and he had no idea what it was all about and you still end up looking like you conspired with your friend on this. Go with another guy, but not one of her other lovers. Someone your husband's friend will trust and respect. It will make him feel like a fool, and he's likely to be very upset and lash out, but it will pass. In the end, I'm sure he'd rather know than not know.
2006-06-08 04:14:15 · answer #2 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Several men....it comes to a point when things begin to make him look like a fool and seeing the two of them together a bit disgusting....its time to let him know before he finds out that he is the only one the doesn't know...discuss this with your husband..one or the other or both have a talk with him..proof of some sort may allow him to not question your accusations as he is not going to want to believe what he is hearing..sorry but I've been in his shoes...and I would have wanted someone to at least give me a clue that such behavior was going on.
2006-06-08 03:50:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would personally ask myself what kind of person your friend is? If she cheats on her husband with several men, then I wouldn't be too sure that would be a friend that I would want.
Set her up. Think of someway that when you know she is with one of these men that her husband is there too or something. Make it an innocent situation where you aren't even involved and they won't know that it came from you.
Sounds like she doesn't need to be married!
2006-06-08 03:33:15 · answer #4 · answered by Supermom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! You are in a bad predicament. I would go to the girl, and tell her "I LOVE you as a friend, and I care about your family. I know what youre doing is hurting your husband. If you still love him, you need to tell him what you're doin, and BEG him for forgiveness. If you don't love him anymore, have the decency to tell him, and cut him loose. I'm saying this because I want what's best for both of you. If you don't tell him THIS week, it's MY obligation to let him know."
This is the ONLY way to handle it. Because you're not going behind anyone's back. Even if she HATES you in the end, she can't say your a liar or sneaky. I don't envy you. I hope it all works out.
2006-06-08 03:35:43 · answer #5 · answered by keri l 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband to see what he thinks. His friend my already know she cheats on him and looks the other way. In some strange situations people do that.
2006-06-08 03:37:03 · answer #6 · answered by in love with superman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My hubby's ex wife did the same thing. I think you should send him an anonymous letter. He does deserve to know. I personally would just tell him, I really don't want a friend like that! But if you want to preserve your hubby's friendship, send the letter. Good luck. I hope everything turns out for all of you, and I hope she gets what she deserves!
2006-06-08 03:35:54 · answer #7 · answered by momx4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Given the possible circumstances either way, I would stay out of it. I don't condone cheating, but you cannot come away with anything more than what you have with them relationship-wise. You would be looked down upon by everyone including your husband. You have a good conscience and I can appreciate your desire to help her, but unless you want more chaos than you need, I would stay out of it.
2006-06-08 03:34:39 · answer #8 · answered by Awesome Bill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would tell your husband and i would tell your friend that if she does not tell her husband you will. tell her that its wrong and if she feels like she needs to be with other men she should not be married. but you have to do some thing. she could get pregnant with someone elses baby or she could catch something and give it to her husband. its best if you just tell her to tell him because at least this way he will be hearing it from her and not take it out on you or your husband. but if she won't then yeah you have to tell him he needs to know it will hurt him worse if you don't tell him.
2006-06-08 03:33:17 · answer #9 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would talk to the wife. let her know how it makes you feel. and don't tell her husband anything. have you told your husband? since they are best friends perhaps he can talk to the husband and kinda make him aware of what's going on? if she does cheat on him as often as you think he probably suspects something but is going with the lalala theory, what i don't know can't hurt me kind of thing? sincerely i would talk to your husband and let him see how he can approach the subject,what do you think?
2006-06-08 03:36:04 · answer #10 · answered by measureoflove68 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋