Did you marry the one you had passion for? Or did you marry the one that was best for you?

Question

I did not marry the man that "rocked my world" I married the man that had values , morals, and a good sense of family. That has lasted over 28 years. I knew in my heart I would be miserable with the one that held my passion and love? Just curious what others did and if they lived happily ever after.

Chemical honey, my spouse knew why I married him. And I never said I didnt love him, I said he was not the one I had passion for. and NO< WE had nothing in the money part when we started out! Your assumption was not correct

Answer 1

Smart move. I married the one that was right for me.

Passion unfortunately comes from a lot of unhealthy places for a lot of people. We tend to be drawn to people that share similar characteristics with our parents. Unfortunately, many people have some unhealthy issues with their parents and it comes out in their marriage. Someone they were once passionate about all of a sudden brings out all their childhood issues and the other person can't fix them.

You can always learn passion as you evolve as a person. You learn to appreciate great qualities and core values and that is passion.

I read some of the answers and it never fails that people will say "I have both". It is rare and very often those are the ones who end up with the problems. or else, there wouldn't be a 50 something % divorce rate and a 30% rate of people who cheat.

The girl that said she married for loneliness,,,,OMG, how unfortunate. What a kiss of death for the marriage.

Answer 2

I always married best for my family. I did that three times. Then I decided in order to feel secure with my life I had to be on my own or with someone that enhanced my feelings. I have enormous passion in my relationship and I am with someone that I feel secure and happy with. I think if you just marry for love you are nuts. There needs to be so much more. Security should come first in my world. Insecurity in a relationship swallows the love up and spits out pain.
just a thought.
cheers.

Answer 3

So what are you saying you don't love your husband? I feel bad for him. So you pretty much married someone who probably was someone with a good job and made decent money???Forget about the other guy sit and think about what you just said and pretend you were in your husbands shoes and he was telling you this....sorry to say it but I think that's horrible how can it be that bad if it lasted 28 yrs??? If you were looking for a good time all along then you did marry wrong

Answer 4

You say how long it has lasted...You sound like you made the "safe" choice. You have your security. { which I assume is what you thought was "best".} But you also sound like you gave up the passion and the love. I don't believe in "settling" for anything. I do believe that the "whole package" exists, if we are not in such a hurry...so afraid of being alone that we grab one just in case no one better comes along. How sad... I'm not saying that this is you...but you remind me of so many people I know that have done this.....And then do the "what if?" for the rest of their lives.

Answer 5

i married and divorced the "right guy" in less than a year. now fining out that passion and friendship will be the best for me. my ex and i argued because we had no foundation no common ground to build are marriage on. not say he didn't try to be a good husband we were just to different and staying married would have been for connivance on both are parts. i still regret leaving him but its the security and not the man himself i miss. congratulations on 28 yrs of marriage!!!!

Answer 6

I'd really like to marry that chemicalbrothers chick. She sounds SO passionate! Or should I say- compassionate? Maybe both.

Yep- she'll be the one to catch the bouquet at the next reception, huh?? Intelligence AND empathy! Such a hard catch.

Answer 7

My fiance and I use to be so spontaneous and fun. You could definately say he "rocked my world". Then we found out we were pregnant, and at first I was worried if he was the best for me, if he would be the best dad, and I was also worried that we could become boring. But he turned out to be a wonderful dad, he has great morals, great values, and he is the best for me, in all ways. I can't wait to marry him!

Answer 8

I married for my young son's stability and because it was what my partner was desperate for(wrong, I know)as I personally don't hold much value to a bond made with paper and religious bias. Unfortunately, I failed to realise the detrimental effect it would have on me. Ah well, been unhappily married now for three years and counting!

Answer 9

I married for mostly "passion" and some of the "best for me." He knocked my socks off and was intelligent so I figured what the heck...

We're still married and it's a true rollercoaster ride! He likes to keep it exciting and adventerous. He's very active and keeps our family busy ... that's what I love!

Answer 10

I heard you're world was rockin this weekend in some seedy ginjoint, sister..yeah..with the bar owner no less. What ruthless duplicity indeed! Poor Mr. Family Values..if he knew what we know now there would be war in the wigwam. Trollop.