2006-06-08 02:23:50 · 17 answers · asked by hammysammy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Both go in for counselling.
2006-06-08 02:26:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to get him to open up to you. After all, you are his wife and the two of you made a lifetime commitment together.
What I would do is get him away from the house, possibly go to dinner together, pick a place you know he enjoys. Once there, you need to be very positive about things. Talk about the good times the two of you have had together. Tell him how special he is and how much you love him. Gently remind him how you have had issues and have discussed them with him. Then slowly see if you can get him to open up about one issue (he may only have one issue) but ask him to talk to you about one thing bothering him. Again, stay positive and tell him that together the two of you can work through anything!
Doing this slowly and staying positive will help him to open up to you and then you can work on making things better for him and for you!
Good luck
2006-06-08 10:15:58 · answer #2 · answered by Ekimo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on what the problems relate to. It sounds like there is a serious lack of communication regarding the issues though.
To start with the wife might want to make it clear that she is understanding and non-judgemental. Communicate clearly that you are there to listen and to be his support. Let him know that how you feel about him will not change based on what eh tells you because your emotions and relationship are strong enough (and make sure they are before going into this).
2006-06-08 09:27:44 · answer #3 · answered by Chris L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out why he is afraid. There may be a good reason for it. If you are married then you should be able to talk to each other about anything and feel safe and secure about it. Let him know that you are there for him to talk and you will listen and understand without judgment but don't push him to talk if he doesn't want to. Just keep reminding him that you're there for him. If you do that for awhile and he still doesn't open up to you, maybe you could go see a couple's counselor who could help you figure out why.
2006-06-08 09:26:03 · answer #4 · answered by ericalsmith2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder why people that can't even talk to each other get married???? Maybe that is his problem. He is gay and he is sorry and he shouldn't have married you??? Sorry. Sarcasm slips out when it comes to this. I would say ..since you use the word "afraid", He is screwing someone else., Or he wants a sex change. Or he got a girl pregnant. It must be something heavy, or he wouldn't be "afraid". It must suck to have a life partner that you can't trust or talk to. What's the point?
2006-06-08 09:38:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is he afraid to talk to you? Is he afraid of rejection or that you will not listen to him? My husband says he can talk to him anytime if he needs to or you both can talk to us as a couple. We are here to help in any way that we can. You may also want to help him find someone he is comfrotable with talking to like a counselor or a marriage counselor. Do you talk openly with him about everthing that you feel and what problems you have? Communication is very important in a marriage and relationship or the marriage will eventually fall apart as you will not know each other anymore and you will ultimately become strangers. I also would like to invite you to my marriage list called lets talk marriage at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/letstalkmarriage I am here to help in any way that i can! My yahoo id is ladyhewitt_1
2006-06-08 09:34:38 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is your spouse afraid to tell you? I do not tell my spouse many things because he is very critical of me and makes me feel worse. On the other hand, I think he avoids telling me things because he thinks I will psychoanalyze him because I've taken a lot of psych classes. Oh, the webs we weave...
2006-06-08 09:28:56 · answer #7 · answered by amymarie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is being silly... why does he think you married him?? To be unconcerned with his life....... NO... to share and walk through life with him.
He may be depressed, lonely, have work issues.... have you all tried counseling? What exactly is it that you want him to talk to you about... Make a date out of it... with cards and all.
My son and I do that... he has a hard time talking to me, because of things that have happened to our family in the past... these cards have everything on them, from how are you feeling today, to what are your fears, to what are somethings I can do to help around the house. It may seem childish, but many peoople who have repressed emotions and feelings don't know how to talk about how they feel.
He may feel pressured and overwhelmed by your concern, so ease up a little and take a different approach.
2006-06-08 09:28:41 · answer #8 · answered by Sunshine_Diva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient. What sort of problems are they? Is it work? Family? Financial? I know that I drive my wife crazy sometimes by not saying what's on my mind. I don't want to give her more worries than what she has. Let him know that you'll listen whenever he wants to talk. Given time ( and not nagging), and he might start to open up.
2006-06-08 09:28:36 · answer #9 · answered by ezc692 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest to go to marriage counseling... One important thing in a marriage is communication and if he can't do that, you are just going to continue to have problems....
Also look unto the Lord for guidance.... He will help both of you.
GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!
2006-06-08 10:10:25 · answer #10 · answered by Torres 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my suggestion would be to be as patient with him as you can...unfortunately, he probably doesnt know how to express himself in a healthy way. another issue maybe the trust factor between the two of you...does he have anyone else that he can talk to? if he is able to open up to someone he trust that will help...
also, a suggestion would be to try to be more vulnerable yourself..
2006-06-08 09:47:19 · answer #11 · answered by heresthedeal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋