It's said that most separations are due to sex or money, if only a lack of sex and all else is great?

Question

If one partner just refuses to satisfy the other or even attempt to. Wont even talk about it. All other aspects being great. Is it acceptable that partner A tell B that as long as they don't find out about it it's fine to have sex else where? That sounds cool but, it leaves B to sneak around and feel as though they are conspiring in cheating. There's a mental cruelty there. Now, being that A is refusing to even discuss having sex, shouldn't A be the one to take on the mental cruelty aspect? That by B being free to let it be known that they are going out on a sex date and not have to make up stress producing stories.

Answer 1

In all honesty, this has NOTHING to do with sex. This has everything to do with a complete disconnect in the relationship that both A and B are in denial about. Neither A or B wants to face the fact that there is a complete disintegration of the relationship REGARDLESS of the fact that A and B think that everything is fine. OF COURSE IT'S NOT FINE. That is clearly demonstrated with the lack of intimacy and refusal to discuss it. It is that the withdrawing partner has decided that for all the things they are harboring inside towards themselves and the other person, they are choosing to deal with it in the most obvious and dysfunctional way and that is to withhold pleasure, intimacy, love and empathy.

The relationship is not fine, trust me. You just think it is because you think it's functioning but it isn't and both of you are in deep denial. That's the first step to all issues is denial. Then there's anger, then there's coping and then there's healing. You both are in stage 1 and you have a ways to go to get to step 4.

Choosing your option is a joke really. What kind of satisfaction are you going to get from having non commital sex on the side? An orgasm here and there? How is that going to benefit your life and your future?

Get out of denial and take some action. Go to counseling so that both of you can decide whether or not the relationship can be saved and enhanced or if you both realize you're with the wrong person. Staying in denial is what produces all the mental, emotional and physical ailments of the world. Don't be a victim, be pro-active and take steps to live your life passionately and fully, the way that you are obviously seeking to live it. Right now, you're both living superficially.

Answer 2

If every other aspect is great, I wouldn't risk it by having sex with another regardless if the partner gave consent or not as it bound to only blow up in your face. Could it be possible that A could either already be straying and will disclose that information to B once A finds out B has slept with someone else making it appear that it is something that has just occured. Or could it also be possible that A actually isn't sexually satisfied with B and wants to seek the excitment of having sex with another so through encouraging A to do so is then given themselves the opportunity to do so. You done it so it only fair that I can too. Personally I think that if A gives B permission to have sex with someone else it is only for A's own personal gain or that they generally do not care, have respect for or love B. It is a mental cruelty because if you are truly in love you would not even consider sharing the one you love in such a intimate way where they can not just physically connect with another but also emotionally and mentally. A definately is playing some kind of mental game with B. It could also just be that A is looking for a excuse to break up with B. At the end of the day there is definately a game being played against B and A is pulling the strings. The thing is how will B play the game back. My answer would be don't play into the trap start using your smarts B and play your own mental game with A. One thing a player can not handle is when them themselves is being played. Goodluck

Answer 3

Right on Dr. Phil-lys! Sex isn't everything, but it is (at least intimacy of some kind is) an important aspect of a marriage. If A was witholding that, I would insist on counseling or leave. It is not fair to B to have to live with A being unwilling to examine or discuss this issue and leave things status quo. Everything is not fine, nor healthy!

Answer 4

Wow, i'm no relationship expert yet that sounds rather tousled. adult adult males do no longer replace so do no longer anticipate him changing. If he's making you sense like this then think of roughly what you get from the relationship you're able to no longer be unhappy or down continuously and you're able to no longer sense neglected and unhappy bodily by utilising the guy which you're with. communication is a great situation in a relationship, so in case you confer with him approximately this and he would not do something to help fix the type you sense then it won't replace. You 2 have ben at the same time for a protracted time and it would desire to be no longer trouble-free to come again out into the relationship international incredibly on account which you adore him (basically a splash hypothesis) yet he's no longer the only guy or woman available for you, and you will locate somebody (do no longer enable him think of that there is a few thing incorrect with you, you're able to desire to take heed to your self and weigh what's important). there are a important sort of different adult adult males available which will make you satisfied in the techniques that he can no longer. i do no longer think of he's a foul guy, he may well be very intense-high quality and handle you properly in a lo of techniques yet in a healthy relationship those thoughts at the instant are not trouble-free, and in the event that they do get up the two events artwork to repair issues out. In end, attempt speaking, be immediately forward and if his solutions do no longer make sense call him out on it, do no longer hassle if he gets mad b/c in case you 2 particularly do artwork properly at the same time he gets over it. If it would not get greater useful then it's time to circulate on, do you particularly choose to have those subject concerns something of your existence?

Answer 5

Partner A shouldn't have to tell B it is ok to sleep with other people; B should tell A that they are not ok with the lack of intamacy. If it is a big deal to B and A doesn't change their ways, then B should just leave and not cheat and cause problems, mentally nor physically from the risk of STD's.

Answer 6

Im having the same problem. My bf and i have been togeather 2 1/2 yrs and we havent had sex in months he says he just dosent feel like it anymore. But told me i was free to get pleased as long as it was kept quiet. But im afraid to do it, what if its just a test to see if really will. It really is a mental stress from hell. Im in the same boat as you i dont know what to do. Sorry i couldnt be of any help, but just letting you know your not alone.

Answer 7

Both are equally important and necessary.
If some one wants to have sex some where else, after marrige, then what is the necessity of becoming partners/companions?

Answer 8

I say seek counseling, there may be a reseason A or B might not want sex. If they are absolutely UNWILLING.. I still wouldn't suggest cheating.... at the same time I cannot suggest going through life without getting some.


Good Luck...

Answer 9

Most separation happens due to lack of wisdom. Money can not buy wisdom, Sex is only an excuse.

Answer 10

i think if everything else is great you should'nt be messing up your marriage just to get off. find a friend with benefits, but don't hurt your spouse by letting them know .