How do fix it with a married female friend who thinks you were hitting on her but you were just fooling around

Question

I was telling her that I was going on a trip with a bunch of PHD's and that "I would be intimidated if I didn't have the longest **** in the room." (e-mailed exactly that way)
She thinks that I was trying to give her information about my penis size and is offended. I was just commenting on bravado.

Answer 1

My husband and I have a single male friend, who often came up with sexual comments. I did find it quite rude, (even though I knew he was joking, I grew up in an era when men respected women and saved the guy talk for the locker room). It really made me feel uncomfortable. I asked my husband to talk to him about it. It helped. A few days later he called me up and said he was sorry, he didn't realize it was offensive to me, and that he respected me and my marriage. That's all it took, and we are all hunkydori again.

Answer 2

You should not have said that....

Firstly I have found that married couples (women especially) are very suspicious of singles (women especially). Generally couples are more accepting of single men...for instance...generally a couple would have no problem with a single man staying with them for a couple weeks if he needed a place to crash. On the other hand, generally they WOULD have a problem if it was a single woman who needed a place to stay. This is a general statement, based solely on my personal experience.

That being said, I am inclined to think that this married female has some sort of attraction to YOU and is playing a role reversal game with you so that you will feel like the "bad guy". This takes the subconscious guilt off of her head and shifts it to you.

I would encourage you to use caution in your future correspondence to married females...there is nothing worse that an unwanted "come-on" or a jealous/angry husband.

I would send her an email stating your apology for any statements or actions that SHE felt were out of line and that you will govern your communications with her to avoid any future misunderstandings. State that you are happy in your current relationship (if applicable) and that you are not the type of person would attempt to come between a husband and wife team. Wish her well etc.

After you have sent the email, keep all communications with her on a casual, but business level. A woman who misunderstands a statement, or jumps to conclusions is a dangerous person to be around; she could cause you future trouble. If she was a good "friend" she should have know better and not been so quick with her accusation. That is why I believe she has a personal attraction to you, based on nothing more than her own thoughts and is willing to jump on any statement made, or action taken to validate her own desires.

Pretty sickening actually.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Well, regardless of what you were TRYING to do, you need to learn that people have boundaries and it is up to you to respect them. Personally, whether or not you were kidding, it's really not an appropriate comment. I'm not being a prude, trust me, I just understand that there are certain boundaries that shouldn't be crossed for the sake of humor or anything else.

What you should do is sincerely apologize and learn from it. The learning part is more important than the apology. Everyone can apologize but it takes a person of integrity to apologize and NOT repeat the action or similar actions. That's the key.

You can try "listen, I understand that I offended you and I apologize, it wasn't my intention. I do understand now that it was uncool and I'll be more respectful of your boundaries". Simple as that. BUT you have to mean it. This isn't about you, this is about your friend so understand that if you feel that you shouldn't have to "edit" yourself, than you have to choose friends who have lower standards than her.

Answer 4

Well it sounded as if you were talking about your penis to me. That is totally inappropriate. I'm not sure how you can fix it other than sending an email RIGHT AWAY to let her know that wasn't your intent (even though it doesn't appear that you weren't). You could be facing an issue with HR, and why in the world would you put it in an email!? Email, since it's inception, has brought many a men to their knees. It's so NOT confidential it's not even funny. Whatever you do, do it quickly.

Good luck.

Answer 5

women think men are stupid who talk about their penis size because it is crude and it is not an important fact to share publicly. she feels offended that you would discuss this in presence of a lady and is sickened by it. she does not think you were hitting on her...unless you were...that is a separate subject and issue all together. she just thinks you are a pig.
personally I would feel the same way...just apologize to her and tell her you were just not thinking, drunk, tired, or being a jerk...

Answer 6

Apologize to her for being immature. You may not be, but this would be a most humble apology.

Most women I know think it is crude to talk about penis size, unless the women are having a private conversation! We also tend to think when a man talks about his penis size, he must truely be small.

Answer 7

That's a power trip, bro, with her. She loves the power over you, and thinks she's now supperior.

Fix it- just get away from her. Other than that it's a case of least said soonest mended.

Answer 8

i imagine he ought to steer away, quite if the girl does no longer comprehend that he's married.. for example if he doesn't positioned on a hoop, has no images, doesn't communicate about her, etc. that befell to me and that i fell for a guy that became married and ultimately he had to inform me he became married. we use to flirt with one yet another plenty. and not in any respect in straightforward words became it undesirable for his spouse and marriage, yet he lead me on to have self belief that something ought to were obtainable for MONTHS. it became a real blow and harm me plenty. so i fairly trust you that those who're married ought to no longer flirt until eventually if it truly is probability free flirting.. now and again that is advantageous if no man or woman has a hidden agenda. it in basic terms facilitates make artwork more suitable pleasant and facilitates the day bypass by ability of.

Answer 9

She needs to grow up a little, there's gonna be things in this life that will REALLY offend her.
Have you tried calling her? Good Luck to you,
didn't do anything wrong... :-)

Answer 10

Sounds like she's a little sensitive! But you can probably easily clear it up with her, and do yourself a favor...Dont joke that way with her anymore.