What would you do??????????? SHOULD I BE UPSET OR NOT?I ONLY ASKED HIM TO DO THIS ONE THING FOR ME?

Question

A FEW MONTHS BACK I CAUGHT MY HUSBAND COMING FROM A GIRLS HOUSE WHO HE IS FRIENDS WITH. I KNOW THE EXACT TIME THAT HE WENT AND LEFT. I DONT THINK THAT HE SLEPT WITH HER. HE WAS AT A PARTY AND HAD BEEN DRINKING SO HE USEDPOOR JUDGEMENT. I WAS VERY UPSET WITH HIM.I MADE HIM LEAVE FROM THE HOUSE WE WERE NOT TOGETHER FOR ABOUT 2 WEEKS AND EVERYDAY HE WAS LOKE I AM SORRY AND I WAS WRONG FOR GOING THERE AND THAT IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. ITS NOT THAT I DONT TRUST HIM IT S LIKE HE DISRESPECTED ME WHEN HE WENT THERE. KEEP IN MIND THAT ME AND THIS FRIEND DONT GET ALONG.BEFORE WE GOT BACK TOGETHER I TOLD HIM THAT I WANTED HIM TO BREAK ALL TIES WITH HER AND WITHOUT HESITATION HE SAID YES. NOW TODAY HE TELLS ME THAT SHE WENT TO PAY HER BILL WHERE HE WORKS AND THEY HAD THIS UNNNECASSARY CONVERSATION ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON IN HER LIFE.I KNOW THAT IT IS HIS JOB TO TAKE HER MONEY FOR THE BILL BE COURTEOUS BUT NOT HOLD A CONVERSATION ABOUT WHATS GOING ON IN HER LIFE

Answer 1

We wear different hats in the roles we carry with people.
If his job is to receive a monetary payment for a debt; it is very well within his customer service position to entertain some conversation.

If he is a friend; this is also within the common expectations of friendship.

But this is about you and your anger for his "poor judgement".

You have a right to be angry. He had no business, as a married man, being at another woman's house after drinking.

But on the same note, I'm wondering what it is about his prior behavior that has you monitoring his time in and out of someone elses house.

He did not disrespect you by being at a friend's house.
However, I think you have a right to feel betrayed or slightly insecure by his behavior.

I think - if the only solution to the situation is that you control whome he is friends with, then, in this one case it may be warranted.
However, you should expect the same considerations from your man as well.

I think he's suffered enough and knows you won't tolerate even the slightest implication of wrong doing.
Try to follow him around less.

Sometimes when people are accused of wrong doing, disrespected with a lack of trust and a denial of their dignity, and are treated badly for something they really haven't done...
...it makes the crime easier to commit because.
they think "Why not...I'm already suspected of it...might as well do it and enjoy the benefits rather than always suffering the accusations".

Best of luck with second chances

Answer 2

My dear, I'm gonna answer you with a piece of my own experience. Two weeks after my baby girl was born I found out that my husband was paying visits to this femmale friend of his for several months . Up untill today (my baby is 3 years old now) he swears nothing happened (sexually) and that he just had the need to talk to her sometimes has a friend. Deep inside I do not believe him and that ruined our relationship. Only if he had admited the affair I would be able to forgive him. But men rather die that tell you that thruth. If we hadn't move to another town I believe that he would still find a way to keep on seeing her. Just ask yourself this question, if you haven't seen him would he have told you that he was there? (See what I meen with trust?!?)

Answer 3

You are very right to be upset...did you drag him out of the house by his head????? and not the one on his shoulders either...if you didn't, then you weren't too upset, I would make that boy wish I had cut off his pecker and put it in a pickle jar, by dragging him by it all the way home.. If you know they aren't doing anything together for a fact, and just want him to cut ties with her, just because you don't like her, then that's wrong, he has rights to his friends, and you shouldn't make him choose between you and his friends, you might not like the choice he chooses. But you are right for being upset because he went to her house, and not home to you where he belongs, he shouldn't have even been at that party without you in the first place.

Answer 4

She is your husbands friend, THATS ALL!! There is nothing wrong with a man having a female friend, Nor is this disrespectful to you in any why... Accept this, or you WILL distroy your marriage... Your husband deserves an appology from you!

gl

Answer 5

it's a friendly conversation between two people. he used to be friends with her,there's nothing wrong with a casual conversation when he runs into her as long as that is all it is. this isn't about her this is about the two of you. if you trusted him you wouldn't have a problem with them talking when he ran into her. you two need to get some counseling.

Answer 6

Dunno what to suggest...

If they are friends, I don't see a problem... Sounds like you are jealous and a little too demanding... Most people would call that being a control freak...

A man has a right to have friends, male or female... Just as women have the right to have the same...

If they weren't having sex, then where was the problem???

Answer 7

Grow up women it was a party, are you some kind of control freak. Your Husdband should leave you. Poor guy if my wife was like you i would be out like a shot.

Answer 8

Poor judgement there is no excuse for going to her house....he knows that you are not in good terms with this gal thus he should know better then to betray your trust.

Answer 9

I think you are over-reacting. As long as it's not something that he is going to repeat over and over again, you should just let this pass and remind him that this one little thing means a lot to you.

Answer 10

I'd get away from you too if all you do is control him in ALL CAPS.