Welfare Laws: My child's father abandoned us when I was pregnant. Should I be forced to...?

Question

My daughter's father abandoned us when I was pregnant 9 years ago. He has known how to contact us all of this time yet he never has. I filed for child support many times but the case kept getting closed because he was unlocatable (dispite have his SS#.) Now I am have no choice but to be on welfare as I am disabled. Child support just notified me that he was found about 3000 miles away. I never received a penny from him, never a birthday card or any contact from him. Who really thinks that this is in the best interest of my child to have this man found and have him establish paternity? If I had abandoned my child in this manner I would lose all rights to her. As it stands now this man has no rights to her at all because the state where I live does not give rights unless paternity has been established (PA.) With my being disabled my health is not at its best, so if I should die then this man would be entitled to raise my child. What can I do to prevent this from happening????

Answer 1

Looks like you're afraid of him having rights to raise this child should you die. If you don't want him to have rights to is child, you'll need to get him to sign a legal document signing his rights away.
Of course if he does sign his rights away he won't be liable for child support.
Check with your local social services office & ask them... "If he signs away his rights to this child will /can the back child support still be collected?"...
Yes, do bring him forth & establish paternity.

Answer 2

Contact an attorney. First, you should have a will prepared that gives exact instructions as to who you want to be your daughter's guardian. Specifically state in your will that the father has not had contact with the child, and in your opinion will not have contact, and that his getting custody of the child should you die would not be in the child's best interest. Make sure your proposed guardian(s) know they are named, know that they may have to fight the father and are willing and able to be the guardian(s) and fight. If you can name three or four successor guardians in case the first, second or third can't or won't be a guardian if/when the time comes.
Second. Proceed with the paternity case and push and push for sole legal and sole physical custody and, if you can, for no contact by the father. Depending on the state a parent who has no custodial rights may not get the automatic preference to be the guardian of the child.
Third, document every contact by the father. In most states the preference to have a child of a deceased parent go to the other parent is only that -- a preference -- and can be overcome by a sufficient showing of detriment to the child. Remember, when the fight comes, you will not be there; so everything has to be written down so the people who are there will know what you know.

Answer 3

Ya for sure...the state system for child support is really jacked up. My sons father owes me a grip of money, now that he has quit his job he gets to sit at home while I'm trying to survive on my own. I think that since it has been awhile with no sign of him coming around you can let the child go to someone else if you do die. My sister is on my will just in case I die. I am not sure kinda depends on what state you live in too.

Answer 4

You get a court order giving you legal and physical custody.

If he knew he was the father and disappeared for 9 years he has abandoned the child. i see no sense in establishing paternity as you are just going to terminate it any way!

Answer 5

Contact an Attorney for advice.

I would say that YOU might want to consider making out a WILL. That way your child would be taken care of in the way YOU want!

File for Social Security Benefits also. As well as Food Stamps, Medicaid etc.

Answer 6

Well in Colo. you can petition the court to terminate his parental rights even if he cannot be found but since they have found him and you think its in the best interest of your daughter ask him to terminate is rights it he dose not agree you can prove abandonment to the court, which in this case will not be hard at all. Go the you county court's website were you should be able to find phone numbers to people who can answer your question, forms you will need to serve the courts and the court room numbers where you can go. This is how it is done Colo. anyway.

Answer 7

I would do some sort of will stating that your daughter goes to whoever you know will take care of her and state specifically under no circumstances is she to go to that man. I don't think that she would benefit from contact with him. He would just confuse her and leave again, from what it sounds like.