What advice can you give me?

Question

About 2wks ago I moved 1000mi to provoke personal growth, i was to stay with my long time friend. After staying with her for a week she changed her mind and kicked me out. One of her friends, I met the day prior, is letting me stay with him. A semi-romantic relationship has developed, but neither of us have closure from previous relationship. I got a job the day after I came to stay with him and have been working there for a week. It wasn't a planned move so a came with no clothes or money; my dog is isn't here (i miss her) along with my family and comfort zone. I want to stay, but by me taking away everything I knew; I have become really insecure (all aspects): not knowing or even having anyone to trust leaves me questioning my own judgement. Still, here, so I haven't lost hope, but I need to know if my sticking it out is the right thing. Or ANY good advice, by the way, I am 20 years old, no kids, and I have never been married.

Answer 1

Living with someone that you barely know is not a good thing. I realize that you are living in an unfamiliar area and that you were forced into a desperate situation. Going back home might be difficult for you, and frankly going back usually does not work. If you are committed to staring over, then continue with your job, no matter how distateful it may be, and save enough money to get a place of your own. As far as the romance is concerned, be on guard against false love. When two people who are not married to one another live together, what they often feel for one another is not love, but lust. Don't get pregnant out of wedlock. You will ruin your life.

Answer 2

Any big move is sure to leave you with apprehension. I would caution against becoming too involved with someone who you are currently dependent upon for shelter.

You seem to be well on your way to becoming independent. If you are able to maintain your distance with the guy you are living with, a roommate relationship can be established until you are able (willing?) to get your own place.

Thay you have stuck it out for this long, especially after being kicked out by your "friend", shows that you have it in you to be able to stick it out. There's a lot of advice out there about not work not being a social environment, but as social creatures, that's one of the first places you will find a friend. From there, as you begin to familiarize yourself with your new environs, you will become more comfortable and much of the stress will go away.

Don't question your own judgement. You're the only one out there who really knows what you want and how you feel about things. Don't be afraid of your insecurity, just don't let it rule you. You can use your insecurity to help you be more cautious with the new people you meet who may wish to take advantage of you.

Again, just like with any new or different situation, things are going to seem and feel weird/strange. Give it time and everything will seem as normal as it was back where you used to live.

Answer 3

I wish I would have had the courage to travel and explore new places before I had my child. I feel that I missed out on something. You may regret staying or you may regret going back. yeah I know that doesn't help much. Perhaps stay awhile and save your money, so if you decide you want to leave you have the money do so. Your semi-romantic relationship, be careful that could be trouble for the both of you if neither of you has had the closure that you feel is needed from previous relationships.
Feeling insecure? Mistakes are to be made, and that is how we learn from life. Makeing the wrong choices in life helps us learn to make the right choices. Besides how do we know it is a right or wrong choice untill we try.

Answer 4

Your friend stinks!
Stick it out! It will be a good and fun experience!! You've met a good guy thanks to your stupid friend and you already have a start of a romantic relationship. Things could get better and more serious between the both of you and maybe that will help both of you get closure from your previous relationships. Why not ask this guy if you could be his roommate until you get onto your feet again. Get your family to send you up your clothes because you definitely need them! Your dog is safe at home with your family, i know you must miss her. You need to get out and over your comfort zone and explore! You cant stay in your comfort zone forever! Keep trying and don't give up. If you stick this out you're bound to have a fun filled difficult experience! Good luck!!!!

Answer 5

If you are not ready for the rael world you need to move back home and make the transition slow not one day with your family and the next day out on your own with only the cloths on your back to survive. move back home for a while get every all of your priorities sorted out and then think about moveing out and when you do don't go and live with some guy. bad things always happen when you get into that type of situation what till after you are married to go and live with a guy that you know that you love. all of these things that you are going through take time to deal with with and you are going at them head first, slow down and take a look at all of the chooses that you have, it will help you in the long run.

Answer 6

If you moved away 1000 miles, you had a good reason and purpose, and getting kicked out from your friend's apartment and staying somewhere temporary is just a little spice you find along the way, in your journey to independence.

You will succeed because of your will power. But watch out for free stuff you are getting from a guy. Nothing is free. Approach life by being the cause and not the effect. Control life instead of life and its events controlling you. Be flexible, but in control.

Answer 7

You're very brave and courageous. You're doing just fine. It's only been a week, and look at all that you've accomplished! Even when your friend kicked you out, you still stuck it out! With your attitude, you'll be on your feet in no time. The only thing I'd watch is screwing around with your roommate. You need to keep it as platonic as you can. You have enough on your plate right now without adding more to it. Wait until you are out of there and then see what happens with the two of you. I really think you'll make it.

Answer 8

I think, it is the point of your life where you will make major decision and for that, i don't want to give you an advice, but a piece of word for you to consider. Follow your heart & what makes you comfortable. You mentioned that you wanted to stay. If you will stay, you have your job & sooner or later you 'l have enough money to visit your family & might even get your dog. If you will go home, then you can have your usual life you used to be.

I believe that in life, there is a so called Trial & Error stage, where one will not afraid to Try new things, if its result is an Error, then its a lesson to be avoided in the future.

Good luck to whatever decision you wanted to choose to.

Answer 9

Well jen sorry to hear your freind put you out.But at least you still have a job stick in there try and meet knew freinds. Also try and keep in regular contact with family back home,your young and you will learn that true freinds are hard to come by.My father told me when i was 16yrs and leaving home for the first time if through your lifetime you can count true freinds on one hand you,ll be very lucky. As for romance follow your head and heart mabye even gut instinct.If your happy in your job things can only get better

Answer 10

wow, you are braver than I ever could be, I kind of did the same thing when I was 20, but was engaged to be married. The fact that you have a job is good, just save your money and get your own place as fast as you can..then if this "thing" with the guy you are with now is for-real, you will have your own turf and life to share. Good luck to you !!!