Who decides?

Question

In a male homosexual relationship, who decides the role of the "male" or "female"? I know some of my gay friends want to be a certain part in relationships, but is it always decided before hand, or do you just go with it when it happens?

Answer 1

Not all people take the male/female roles, some share the "roles" equally. Otherwise, it's just known offhand. Are you more decisive, up-front, controlling? Then you're the "top". Are you more dependent, timid, obedient, heart-on-sleeve type? Then you're a "bottom".

There's always the ability to switch roles for anyone, but most people have their own favorite position. Some enjoy being on their back, while others enjoy having more of the control over things during sex. It just comes down to whatever gets you off in the best way.

It's the same for heterosexuals, though. It's just women are, by standard, more of a "bottom" than men. However, the roles can be switched, shared, and experimented with.

Answer 2

I understand what you mean about male or female roles. However I think it determined by your sexual attraction to the other person.

My first boyfriend was a football playing JOCK. There for I could be the female type. Or what a homosexual would say the BOTTOM. There were times when we would switch roles.

Then with my second boyfriend. He was a cross dressing drag queen. I had to do more of the male role or TOP. And again there were times we switched roles. Especially after he said he never could do that. Because he was too much of a bottom.

I say if you put all these restrictions on yourself. You will not open yourself to true happiness.

Answer 3

I'm sorry, but what the hell are you talking about?

There is no male or female role in my relationships. My girlfriend and I just be ourselves. Some people like one partner to be more agressive and the other to be more submissive, but most people would prefer a relationship of equals based on love, trust, and respect.

Answer 4

It's kinda stereotypical to define the roles as "male" and "female" because it doesn;t always work like that....

But generally speaking if you mean which one is going to be the more nurturing, sensitive, type and which iis going to be the more logical, bread winner (sooooo stereo typical but I had no other way of describing what I meant, my apologies) If a person is liek one of these stereotypes, they generally are not going to be attracted to someone just like them in those ways. A passive person prolly tends to seek out a more assertive person, of any sexuality. It's not something that is clearly stated and arranged at the beginning of the relationship, it just sort of happens that way.

Answer 5

There is no "male or female" role, you can't seem to get out of your heterosexual thinking. It's not like that.

There is Top and bottom, Dominant or submissive. but not male/female.

tom

Answer 6

if I had a boyfriend...I would think we would just go with it...deciding whether or not to be the male or female in the relationship would make it more difficult...

...being in a relationship shouldnt be that hard...