I helped out a friend, well, a so called friend, by letting him stay at my house, feeding him, etc. for about 4 months. He was down and out and I wanted to help him out. He had a drug and alcohol problem as well. Eventually, I got him into a rehab and haven't heard from him since. Not one phone call to show his appreciation or anything. I want to tell him how I feel but i can't decide if I should do that or just let it go. I want to tell him how disappointed I am that he could just turn his back on someone who helped him out so much? I honestly don't see how he could either after the help I offered him. We were not lovers either, just good friends. Friends don't treat friends tht way.
2006-06-07 17:46:38 · 11 answers · asked by aretus60 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think that you have to base this decision on whether or not you are going to be able to live in peace if you don't say a word. I know me and when something happens and I don't say or do something about it, it eats me up inside and I'm gonna be miserable until I say something.
Now if you're like that, then by all means say something. Sometimes you don't have a chance to do so, but let me ask you, you did alot for this friend, why have you not called in all these months to check in on your friend? What if this person is no longer even alive? I kinda think you should have called to see how this person was doing.
You have to remember that this friend was reall f**ked up in the first place. And don't get me wrong you were awesome and a good friend, just wondering why you didn't follow up after all your hard work.
Or maybe if you don't get a chance to say anything, then you can just write them out of your life and move on. And should this person ever need you again, you'll have your opportunity to say hey, you need to step, cuz I'm not gonna invest one more second on an ingrate like you! After everything I did for you and you abandon me? Hell no. See ya!
Good luck and I hope I helped in some way.
2006-06-07 17:54:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't sit around waiting for flowers and a shower of gratitude. Instead, write a letter to this person but don't send it. Write down everything you are feeling, bad and good.
I tried this with a horrible boss I had and kept the letter. Every few months or so I would go back and read it. Eventually the pain went away and I felt better. I'm grateful that there are people like you in the world, just let knowing that you did everything you could to help him give you comfort.
2006-06-08 00:52:41 · answer #2 · answered by Slh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until he gets out of rehab. Many rehab programs have a series of stages that the person goes through as they get better. He may not be far along enough in his rehab where he can focus on you right now. He needs to focus on getting better first, then he can thank you. Try to understand that he's doing something really difficult right now and when he is ready he'll thank you. Give it time. When he comes out, talk to him and let him thank you. If he still doesn't bring it up, keep in mind that it might not be that he is ungrateful - he could be just really embarrassed about his addictions and having to live off of you for so long.
2006-06-08 01:01:43 · answer #3 · answered by fruitnroo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's also not good to do something for a friend just as an ego boost for yourself though. It'd be nice if he would let you know, but if you really did it out of the goodness of your heart you shouldn't have such a need to be thanked. Just because he didn't come right out and say that he was appreciative doesn't mean he wasn't. But either way, next time you think about helping out a friend, you might want to take a step back and make sure it's out of the goodness of your heart and you're not just doing it so that you can shove it in his face when you want something from him.
2006-06-08 00:53:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't. Its obvious that you are a better person. It's sad that people who should pay respect should and don't. Thats sad. Don't let yourself be used or feel used. May I suggest for next time you set limitations of what you expect, want and need of this person. Try not to hold a grudge or be hurt. You'll defeat your own good hearted personality. Chalk it up as experience. I personally, would want to lecture him for an hour but for some people it would go in one ear and out the other.
2006-06-08 00:51:45 · answer #5 · answered by Robert Miller 95670 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what maybe he isn't turining his back on you,he's just trying to get his life right and on track. He may not be thinking about not calling you because things are happening so fast. Give him the benifit of the doubt first. If another month goes by then you might just have to let it go.
Don't worry yourself about it. You did a beautiful thing in helping your friend. God see's what you did and thats all you need to know is that HE see's your kind heart.
2006-06-08 00:51:09 · answer #6 · answered by Honey Luv 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suggest you wish him best and move on with life.
Life is a circle ( what goes around comes around =) )
suggest if you happen to encounter this person in the future be polite but distant he will get the hint.
God bless and don't judge every one by one bad apple./
2006-06-08 00:50:14 · answer #7 · answered by Sully 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be ur self kinda play hard 2 get but not to much and if he comes crawlin back give him then rules of staying at ur house: no alcahol, drugs, extra. just stand tall
2006-06-08 00:56:04 · answer #8 · answered by stephanie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question- friends dont treat friends that way ...he is no friend.. he is a user.
2006-06-08 00:52:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
of cours eu shld, tell him what u think and feel free and move on
2006-06-08 00:57:09 · answer #10 · answered by soman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋