2006-06-07 17:30:22 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well you heard all the experts respond now my question is do you want to end your marriage or find out why he did what he did?
a good place to start is reading the book called
His Needs, Her Needs. By willard harley jr.
it talks about the reasons men and women have affairs. and if you are interested in saving your marriage it offers steps you can take to start down the road.
Lets be honest here if you try to save the marriage be prepared to hear things that will hurt alot. you also have to understand cheating men have a much harder time leaving the (Other Woman) then a cheating wife would
( shrug sorry don;t know why it just is ) talk to a very good marriage counciler and then talk with your husband and see if he is willing to try. you might learn it just is not going to work out, BUT you would be able to leave with a clear mind that you gave it your best shot.
Another book I suggest is
The 5 Love Languages, By Chapman
God Bless your family
2006-06-07 17:41:22 · answer #1 · answered by Sully 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry you are going through this. I would advise you to get some professional help. Its really easy to say "leave the dog". But we don't live in your world and 15 years is a long time. Seek some counseling but in the mean time, remember that you deserve to be happy and you deserve the VERY best that life has to offer. If your husband doesn't appreciate you, I can almost guarantee that there is someone out there who will simply adore you. It is too early to think about that, but from personal experience I can tell you that there is life after divorce.
2006-06-07 17:41:27 · answer #2 · answered by UCURGYPSY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, that sucks!
well, is he sorry, will it never happen again?
was it a mistake? drunk? and the most important question you can ask him.......does he love her?
I guess these are all the questions i would be asking my husband. 15 years is a long time to just throw away because right now you are hurt and angry.
I always figured I could learn to deal with it if he cheated with someone just for the sex of it....but if he loved her, it is a completely different story. that is unacceptable.
Remember......men are from mars ...they think with there penis......ie...most affairs are for sex not love, find out if he still loves you and if he still wants to be with you befor you make any rash decisions. If not and he wants the other woman, you did nothing wrong, just remember that..you are the victim here not him! and then take him for everything he has....good luck...
2006-06-07 17:40:00 · answer #3 · answered by Merisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's a really hard one. I'm sure there's not just one good answer but the decision is up to you. Ask yourself, do I want to continue to be in this relationship with this man, can I let this go? Or am I done? If you want to give it another try, I definitely suggest counseling ASAP. Otherwise it's likely that it will haunt your marriage forever.
Even if you do end up getting divorced, I still recommend counseling, have an unfaithful mate can be a real blow to the ego. Remember, this is something HE DID. Not something you did/didn't do. Love yourself, ok?
2006-06-07 17:34:55 · answer #4 · answered by Just wondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You find yourself a 17 year old male, who is 6'2 with lots of hair on his head, and a mercedes Benz and tell your husband to meet your new boyfriend. You start getting seriously attractive and dating again and let him know about it, and make sure he knows every now and then, how well your new partner peforms in bed. I've never done any of this, but if I were a cheating husband, I'd be jealous and pissed off by these prescribed activities.
2006-06-07 18:01:30 · answer #5 · answered by FARIDA A 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm with bartender up there...you have two choices...leave him or deal with it...there is no ither choices...if u decide to deal wth it you cant keep throwing it up in his face because it will do no good...and because you know he cheated you will never trust him again so weight your options...HOW MUCH IS YOUR HAPPINESS WORTH TO YOU?
he is obviously happy if you have to think about whether you want to leave or not. He can have the both of you...if I were you hmmmm
P.S. IT DOESNT MATTER HOW LONG OU'VE BEEN MARRIED EITHER...UNLESS YOU CANT DO IT ON YOUR OWN THEN YOU DO HAVE TO WEIGH YOUR OPTIONS BUT SERIOULSY I'D RATHER LIVE IN A SHELTER THAN HAVE SOMEONE DISRESPECT ME LIKE THAT ALL OVER A PIECE OF ***!
2006-06-07 17:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by Honey Luv 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell to go ahead and keep the 18 y/o. You can keep the house and the rest of everything else. A marrage that long and now he wants an 18 y/o? Crazy fool, he's had the best love there is up till that point, I agree with the rest, dump his ***, and you get everything...!!!
2006-06-07 17:35:53 · answer #7 · answered by jojo04_2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself if you will be better off with him or without him. Leaving or divorce is not always the answer. Do you think you can trust him in the future ? If this is his first time you may want to think - talk to him- take your time and revisit the situation. You can always leave later, just try to make a choice that you can live with.
2006-06-07 19:27:25 · answer #8 · answered by RY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God. That is terrible. What kind of sicko man would do that? Make him go to counceling, and church. 15 yrs is a long time but,you have the rest of your life to move on and be happy without him. Find the strength to leave him if he doesnt get help. And he better be sleeping on the couch and trying to make it up to you in the mean time. Sorry, and take care!
2006-06-07 17:37:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry honey the best way to deal with him is leave him. I bet that was not the first time he cheated on you. That was the first time he was busted : ( You have dedicated 15 yrs of your life with this man and he has betrayed you in the worst way. I say move on don't settle you can find someone else : )
2006-06-07 17:37:02 · answer #10 · answered by Truble 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋