I know I still love her, but we are two totally different people. I have been unhappy for some time and am now still in the relationship because I love my kids so much.
2006-06-07 17:25:24 · 8 answers · asked by SadMan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Please sit down and talk to her as soon as you can. Please, don't drag it out. My husband just asked for a divorce after moving out a year ago. It's been the worst year of my life. I still love him but have been holding onto hope that he would come back. If it's really over, you owe it to her and yourself to move on. Deep inside, she probably knows. I wish my husband would have asked for the divorce sooner so we both could have moved on with our lives. No matter when you do it, both of you have to focus on the kids and make sure they know it's not their fault and they are the most important people in both your lives.
2006-06-07 18:09:04 · answer #1 · answered by Tract C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are sure that you want out then you need to sither down and just tell her. Be honest with her. It will not be easy but it something that you must do otherwise it will complicate things in a way you do not want to know about. You know that it will take time for her to get past the hurt but if you do it the right way and not drag it out anymore than you already have then it should be ok. Make sure you both agree to keep it civil between you and her for the sake of the children. The worst thing you both could do is let the children hear things that they should not hear. Let them know that it is not their fault and that is does not mean you do not love them anymore. That is a big thing to make sure they know. Just be honest with her and soon!
2006-06-08 02:35:12 · answer #2 · answered by Shea 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason it's so hard for you, is because you're probably nice to her and saying you love her all those years, when you didn't. So now it looks like you were lying and deceitful if you say you want to break up. Start now, by not saying "I love you" anymore. Stop sleeping with her, which involves kissing and affection. Stop showing false love. Ignore her to the point where she feels alone in the relationship. Many people say to themselves, "I might as well be alone", when they experience this type of treatment. Cause a huge fight, by coming home late, or start being a drunk, so she can put you to sleep on the couch. Then stay there. Don't ever go back to your bedroom. Start sleeping apart, in separate rooms. Don't eat her dinners, or her food, stop using her altogether. You feel guilty because she does stuff for you, and you know you're beign ungrateful. Eventually you should grow apart, and it gets easier to say 'Good bye". And one more thing, you don't love her. Don't say "I still love her". It shows, that you don't know what love is. When you love the opposite sex, in an intimate relationship, you want to be together forever. You would love that 'totally different person". You may have bonded, but you don't love HER (personality comes with the package). As mothers, we love that child who is 'totally different' from our selves. If one of your children was more like her, meaning they were totally different from you, you would still love that child to death. You would never say you wanted to be apart from that child or couldn't stand living with that child. You said "I still love her", but " I love my kids so much". Your love for her, is not even close to your love for your children. You do not love her. Stop feeling guilty. Stop fooling yourself.
2006-06-07 18:19:07 · answer #3 · answered by FARIDA A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First suggest a seperation ( AND ) Marrital Counsiling
Then if things don;t work out you can proceed with divorce
Suggest reading
The 5 Love Languages, Chapman
His Needs, Her Needs, Willard Harley Jr.
2006-06-07 17:48:11 · answer #4 · answered by Sully 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u can still love your kids and not be with the mother of them. Just be a man and come out and tell her the truth. It will hurt. but not as much as if you keep stringing her along letting her believe everything is okay. you will both be happier if the truth comes out now before either of you do something stupid and make the situation worse then it is now.
2006-06-07 17:57:59 · answer #5 · answered by browneyedgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth. Sit down and have a rational discussion about it.
2006-06-07 17:27:26 · answer #6 · answered by nitemere11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit her down, and do it..........but nicely ....and dont sugercoate it...like "i think we should see other people", or...something like that...just tell her. staying w/ her would just be wasting both of ya'll's time..and you dont want that.
2006-06-07 17:29:38 · answer #7 · answered by Emily S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sky write it.
2006-06-07 17:27:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋