So I met my girlfriend in a chat room and ended up having this girl move in from Sacramento to Chicago. I love this girl. At least I think. Its been a year as of last week. She's not what I find attractive physically, and more heavy set than I like, but I have looked past that because she's a great person. Over the last several months I have found myself wanting out though. She's my first girl friend and the one I gave it away too. So i'm attached on many levels. Simply I want to break up, but I don't have the balls to do it because she's been through s*it in her life and deserves to be happy, and it seems she is with me. I don't want to hurt her. and I do lover her, I just don't know in what ways anymore. Any advice? anyone who could give me a listening ear sometime would be helpful too, donttrustsheep@yahoo.com, or IM me too.
2006-06-07 17:01:29 · 10 answers · asked by donttrustsheep 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
And no, i could never cheat. cheating is stupid and pointless.
2006-06-07 17:09:23 · update #1
Ive been in your position before. There is no reason that you should be unhappy just to make her happy. Just really sit down and think about this because a year is along time. Do what will make you happy, and if its meant to be later on down the road youll be with her. Just make sure not to say anything mean or hurtful if you do break up. Just tell her you dont think you should be together right now, that your not sure this is what you want. Good Luck.
2006-06-07 17:22:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Oh goodness. I hate to say this but you are in a real pickle. You moved this gal from California to Chicago. That is like a world away. You keep saying things like "you think you love her" and that you don't find her physically attractive. I really think that this is a very complicated issue. I'm a mental health professional so in that capacity I would recommend you consult a counselor in your area. I don't know all of the details of your situation and to give you advice in this venue would be inappropriate. I would be happy to talk further via email but in short term, I wouldn't make any major decisions until you get some good advice. Hang in there, this too shall pass.
2006-06-07 17:16:54 · answer #2 · answered by UCURGYPSY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand you pain. i know you want to get out of the relationship but just give it a little more time. Not for the sake of being a couple but just to see if you are going to regret breaking up with her. For example give her one more month or two and see if theres anything that happened that is going to make you want to stay with her. If not then talk to her one day, tell her how you feel and let her know that you dont want to be her bf anymore nd hopefull that should be it. You can still be friends but your not together anymore.
2006-06-07 17:08:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Level with her - She may deserve to be happy, but so do you.
You didn't say whether she's living with you, or on her own. If she's with you, it's a bit harder, because there might be a financial dependancy to consider. If she's not, then she might need the "space" or even appreciate it, to learn to be with out you. You never know, after you're apart for awhile, you just may get back together and remove all doubts.
2006-06-07 17:29:59 · answer #4 · answered by socalmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it really does depend on how you break it off with her. If you keep on going and going, you are going to build up more and more resentment for her, and then when you do finaly blow your top you will till her exactly how you feel, which won't be very nice for her, probably leave her distraught. If you tell her now, gently she will have time to come to terms with it and then you can both move on. Who knows you may become best friends. The easiest thing to do is to do nothing at all.
Good luck
2006-06-07 22:49:29 · answer #5 · answered by chrisnewcars 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in the same spot because of my ex. but with out the sex! you should just tell her the truth and if all else fails you should just tell her you want a brake in your relationship to see other people to see how you truely feel about her. if you end up liking someone else a little better than so what your heart thinks is right you only live life once so you gotta make some mastakes right?
2006-06-07 17:08:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like this woman won't be searching for a courting.top now she is purely exploring her strategies and what opportunities would lie there.you reside in diverse cities,so how could you understand if she wasn't flirting with adult adult males a similar way she does with you in her very own native land?females frequently are not drawn to adult adult males who stay a good distance away in any case.we choose somebody who could be there for us as quickly as we relatively need them.you may no longer relatively go a good distance with woman in case you have an prolonged distance courting.
2016-09-28 04:40:59 · answer #7 · answered by huenke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry bro but u got ur self in this mess, ride it out. or be an a?? hole until she breaks up with u.
2006-06-07 17:31:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not in love,but shows sympathy,that is what I think
2006-06-07 17:22:59 · answer #9 · answered by leowin1948 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know and good luck
2006-06-09 06:27:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋