I'm divoice and I'm dating a guy and I think I'm in love but not sure if I am or not.I go nuts when I'm not with him.We talk on the phone all the damn time.And when I'm with him I dont want him to leave I just want to be with him forever.I just dont want this to be the wrong guy again.What do I do?
2006-06-07 16:55:21 · 15 answers · asked by neonecaretotalk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I went thru this last year when I first started going out with my current boyfriend. I had left my ex of 21 years and was totally scared to get involved with anyone else for the fear of having the same things happen again. But, in time, this guy showed me that he is the total opposite of my ex. My ex is a liar, cheater, drug user/abuser, believes that it is his right to cheat but not his womans right at all (if she chose to), is lazy, went from job to job to job, doesn't do well at all with his finances (he even lost his apartment soon after we split up), cares only for himself, controlling, emotionally/verbally/mentally abusive, etc, etc. The guy I have now is the total opposite of all of that. He is totally grown up, knows how and when to be serious, has a great sense of humor, and does NONE of what my ex does.
When I met my ex, I was young, naive, had no idea about the world, and just wanted to get out of an abusive household. I didn't realize at the time that I was getting into the same thing I was leaving. I was already beaten down by my parents, so it took me many, many years to be strong and to get out on my own. I am 21 years older and wiser now. I learned to watch with an observant eye and heart how my guy interacts with our friends, his family (especially his 3 teen daughters), and how he treated me before making a decision to stay with him.
What I am trying to say is, listen to your heart (good advice I got from many people while first dating the guy I am with now). Your heart, and gut, won't steer you wrong. It sounds as if you have a great guy and you are well on your way to having a long, happy life with him. I have been with this guy for a year now and I still feel like you do! :) And I hope to always feel that way.
Good luck!
2006-06-07 17:21:18 · answer #1 · answered by honey 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the feelings you describe mean that you are together to experience something together in the future, good or bad, you will not be able to separate from him until that experience is over; i.e. having a child, going to court, it can be anything, but you need to experience it, you will not be able to stop it. There is no use asking for advice, your emotions will control you. Accept this can be good or bad. The pain you feel when you are not with him now is as equal to the pain you may experience if he is not right for you in the future. So, you are damned if you do, and damned if you don't. The fact that you even think he may be the wrong guy is interesting. You are either intuitive, or have a negative edge. What you think, is what will happen. You can make it a positive relationship, by truly , with all your might, believing that he is a great guy, and treating him that way, and with respect, never questioning his motive for being with you and being suspicious. What you think and believe is what you will get. You already know something. Your gut knows something and the fact that you cannot stay away from him, means you must accept that you are here to experience a future pain with him. When you are with the right person, you have no doubt. It feels like bliss.
2006-06-07 17:17:28 · answer #2 · answered by FARIDA A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question isn't is he the right guy for you, but are you the right woman for him? You seem to think this is all good, do you know what he feels? Have you talked about it during your marathon phone calls? Read "The Road Less Traveled", ( PECK) remember the new car theory...you LOVE your new car, just feels all good and perfect and you feel wonderful driving, then six months later you have a scratch or two and the carpet is a little dirty...do you still LOVE the car, or is it now just "Your Car"? Will you still love this man after all the new has worn off? Will you love him after you see his scratches and dirt, after a few miles are behind you? I know several couples who married within months or even weeks of meeting each other and are still very very happy...but they are rare and special ppl....if you are average, take the test drive for at least 6 months...then you can answer your own question. Best of luck!
2006-06-07 17:47:46 · answer #3 · answered by Jen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just dont rush into anything!!!! IF ur not 100% positive that u love this man do not marry or make a major commitment until u know for sure...when u wake up in the morning and cant think of anything else other than him and when u close ur eyes to sleep and can only dream of him than it just may be love=-) good luck
2006-06-18 16:29:16 · answer #4 · answered by Aniya's Mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the other answers. Only time will tell. Though, again, you may never find out until it IS the rest of your life. But if you love him, just be with him. You might want to ask him how he feels about you and if he thinks your the girl he wants to be with for the rest of his life. If he hesitates, he might not be right for you. ALSO, just because he might be the nicest guy, or whatever, doesn't mean you should be with him. I mean, sometiems those are the guys that will leave you. Just my last words! Hope this helps!
2006-06-07 17:04:02 · answer #5 · answered by lvbs793 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't been dating this guy that long, these are natural feelings. So I suggest giving it more time. Let the relationship settle down to what it will "truly" be like without the lust. If you still feel this way, then I would say he is the right one for you. But as you said, "you think" you are in love with him, so wait until you are "sure" you are in love with him. Good luck.
2006-06-07 19:00:40 · answer #6 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Story of my life, Just take it one day at a time and hopefully
the love will last, I hate when he leaves me also, but I'm happier
the next day when I see him. All relationships are not the same
so just give him a chance.
Just enjoy the love you have for him right now, Time and love
is very short.
2006-06-20 07:45:41 · answer #7 · answered by aaakids 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely no longer. Now that I'm in a protracted-time period dating wherein we now have been speakme marriage I do (however I'm no longer scared through it). But the primary or moment date that's loopy! The furthest alongside I'm pondering is what he is like in mattress haha.
2016-09-08 22:05:28 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The is the age old question we all want to know. You must have thought your last husband would be forever, and that didnt work. Something inside of the two of you will just know. Sad, but I know my soulmate, but she is married, so we just hope sometimes that the next one will be our last. Good luck with this one. He may be your keeper...
2006-06-07 17:01:59 · answer #9 · answered by jojo04_2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Observe and guage for yourself if he is a kind, good, humble person. don't pick the same type of man you divorced. Go out with him for at least a year.
2006-06-07 16:59:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋