Im in love with a married man!?

Question

the thing is im married as well....dont judge me for we have not done anything wrong! We both care a great deal for each other! If things were less complicated he says we would be together...

His wife has been really sick lately! I feel horrible to have these feelings for him when i know his wife needs him. I mean i totally understand that he NEEDS to be with her.

And i do love my husband so much. I jsut cant get this man out of my mind or my heart. Why does life have to be so hurtful!

I just dont know what to do!

If u leave a comment please be nice, for this is a serious matter to me!
Thank you

Answer 1

You already know what is right.

Answer 2

If you can stay away from this guy until his wife gets better than do so. Your feelings for each other may be real, but so is the guilt and fear--its all intertwined and its all going to grow together, almost poisoning what's developing between the two of you. You need to take a huge step back and wait for circumstances to be less complicated. If you are meant to be with this guy then it will work out when his wife isn't sick any more. If you're not meant to be with him, then step back before anyone else gets hurt.

You also might want to look into counselling just to sort through all this for yourself--its a heavy weight that you've been carrying, and its worse because you can't talk about it with the people closest to you.

Answer 3

Hi there....it sounds like you are hurting, even though you know in your heart what is the right thing to do. Being in a triangle is not healthy for those involved and complicates your life. Although you say you love this married man, are you sure that maybe you are not just taken with feelings of infatuation for him which might appear as love to you. Falling in love is exciting, and if someone pays attention to you, that is also exciting, but, its all for the wrong reasons. Reflect inside yourself as to what may be lacking in your relationship that would cause you to be attentive to another man - if you are so in love with your husband, how could you have eyes for another man, per se? If you answer those questions, perhaps you are in a "dead marriage", and maybe its time to move on, but for the right reason. Don't let someone else give you a reason for ending your marriage, let it be because you have decided it was, be honest with your husband and tell him what is going on inside of you and your feelings, and then move on. Once you start the lying, there is no stopping, and you will be caught up in a whirlwind. This married man appears to be selfish to put you into such a position, and if you continue, you will feel used. Be careful, and I hope you make the right choices and decision for YOU, and your husband. C

Answer 4

Sounds like a really tough situation. unfortunately there are other people in your lives that you say you both love that would be very hurt if something were to happen between you. you say nothing has happened between you yet and that's the way you should work hard to make it stay. you sound like your in the heat of the moment and that is a very powerful and hard position to be in where your mind and your heart are both pulling in different directions. if his wife needs him right now and you do love your husband WALK AWAY before it's too late and you do something that you will regret and your husband and his wife certainly don't deserve. there are other important people hanging in the balance of your lives that have no control over this situation and you have to think long and hard about their feelings and what they deserve before moving forward, it's a lot to consider and you still have the chance to do that. Good luck.

Answer 5

Look at the big picture. Do you really want to be with a man who would even think of leaving his ill wife for another? What if he did, and you did also. And somewhere down the road(not wishing any bad)you got seriously ill, cancer or something. How would you feel if he then left you for another as he is thinking now? And what of your husband? To say you really love him BUT..... You do not really love him. That is like saying I really love my kids, BUT.....I would rather bake for the kid down the street and buy that boy gifts instead of my own daughter. And you would be able to convince those looking in and your own kid, you love them but giving your heart to the kid down the street is nothing major at all.. Break if off with Mr Married Man, tell him to focus n HIS WIFE. And you focus on your husband. Try to see the greatness in him as you do with Mr married man. Everyone will be better off in the long run.

Answer 6

Stay away unless you want your marriage destroyed. this poor man is lonely and worried and you are a warm and handy body He will just be using you even if he doesn't mean you any real harm.

If you love your husband, teach yourself to speak Japanese, learn how to re wire a lamp, do something, anything to get your mind off that man whenever you think of him. DO it now or you will be sorry.

I am very serious You will regret what you are comtemplating. you might be bored or a little tired of the routien and this man and his drama are an excitement that has attracted your imagination. STOP IT NOW unless you want to be alone and divorced.

Answer 7

If you are a believer in the word of God, the bible states, something like this not exactly word from word, Even if you look upon a some one in a lustful manner you have already committed adultery in your mind. Do you really love this man or do you feel sorry for him beacause of his sick wife? Seeing the helplessness in his eyes knowing that he is longing for a healthy relationship (possibly sexual). Remember you always reap what you sow. What if you were sick and your husband started having feelings for someone else?

Answer 8

first of all are there kids involved? i don't think you said your vows for nothing. you need to take time to think about what it is you really want.are you happy in your marrage? the real thing to do is be honest in your relationship.if your not happy tell him. try to work things out if you can ask your self how long have you been married and did you waste that amount of time for nothing. this friend of yours say if things were less complicated you would be together. love is love if he wanted to be with you he would be it sounds like an excuse. so think long and hard before you make a big choice you may regret later

Answer 9

im going to try doing this without being judgemental. i came from a family where one of the parents cheated. These things NEVER remain a secret and it completely tore our family apart. I dont know if theres any kids involved for you, but if there are keep in mind that your setting an example in what love is and should be. Also, its sad that his wife is ill, but people shouldnt stay together out of pity or guilt. I believe that if he really wanted to be with you and you with him then you would and should seperate from your current spouses (before cheating). you just really need to examine what and who you want from life.
Being upfront about things is always less painfull than betrayal

Answer 10

I wish that I could help you more, but all I can really suggest is that you seek counseling if you want to salvage your marriage. I think you should examine the reasons why you married in the first place, and see if maybe you are so attracted to this new person because they fulfill some of the needs that are no longer being met by your husband.

Answer 11

People change. If you love your husband but love the other man in a deeper sense....do the right thing and end it with your husband first. he deserves your respect and your loyalty till the end even if your heart belong to another. besides, you will RESPECT yourself more if you end it with your husband first before continuing on with another.....and so will your husband!
GOOD LUCK
You have done nothing wrong as of yet

remember that the way you treat people will be something you will have to remember the rest of your life
also IF THEY WILL DO IT WITH YOU THEY WILL DO IT TO YOU! if the other man is willing to start an affair with you then chances are he would have an affair on you and visa versa!!