He says he wants to be with me but he is just too much of a coward to tell his wife.
2006-06-07 16:06:31 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You don't. At some point, he's gotta be a man and take responsibility for his decisions. If he wants to be with you, well let him step up and be with you. If you do all the work, that's going to come between you eventually--either in the form of his resentment that he lets the women in his life call all the shots, or you're going to start seeing him as a coward.
I'm guessing that the wife knows, or will figure it out at some point and then force an ultimatum on him. Don't you want to know what he'd actually do if he were forced to make a decision instead of having decisions made for him?
You deserve to be with a guy who's not a coward and goes after what he wants......so give yourself every chance to find out whether he's worthy of you!
2006-06-07 17:01:33 · answer #1 · answered by shukuken 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he really wanted to be with you he would divorce his wife, he would break it up in a second. Not only does he have feelings and a bond with her, which prevents him from just dropping her like garbage (because maybe she cooks and cleans for him, and he appreciates it), but he's also got a dream life, where he can sleep with two women at the same time. You are allowing him to to be a very lucky man. Is he really so special, being a cheater and all? Also, you know now, that he is capable of cheating on you, or capable of betrayal. At home, he tells her he loves her, and there is no one else. He cries to her, when she tells him she will kick him out. You believe in him. You actually believe his lies. He gives her cards and gifts on special occassions, otherwise.... she would have left him by now. Once the novelty of you wears off, if you do marry him, he will turn on you too. You will be extremely annoyed by their divorce, and it will hurt your relationship with him. He may have to pay alimony, or child support, and when it hurts your finances together, it will scar your relationship. Try this great great test. Stop seeing him unless he breaks up with his wife. If he doesn't, he doesn't want to be with you THAT badly. Honestly, remember, some people will sacrifice their life for their true love... like jumping into a lake for your dog, or mothers running into a burning house for their child. Test him. If the pain of breaking his marriage, and what society will say of him as a cheater, is greater than the pain of NOT being with you, he really does not love you (ignore his lies). People make decisions based on pain, and always avoid the greater pain. Right now, he is in double pleasure. Not fair to you, or his wife. People divorce every day, and they are not seeing anyone else, or have anyone else to go to, so here is someone who cannot leave his wife and he has someone else to go to, probably because she's not really that bad, and he knows it, and will suffer great guilt. He's the bad guy, in their relationship, a breakup makes him feel guilty and uncovers him.
2006-06-07 17:36:51 · answer #2 · answered by FARIDA A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't touch that phone. if he wants to be responsible for breaking up his marriage, let him do it. chances are he will NEVER tell his wife. he has a good thing going, why would he screw it up? he gets to screw his wife AND you at the same time. what man wouldn't want that?
you need to take control of this situation, have some self respect and break it off, don't waste anymore time. you are inlove with him, but you will get over it. if he trully loves you, he wouldn't be putting YOU in that situation of you having to tell his wife. he is a coward, he will never do it.
throw him to the curve, let him make up his mind on his own. get on with your life. if he's meant for you, he will come back, clean and available. good luck.
2006-06-07 16:11:01 · answer #3 · answered by sungirlie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you believe he is going to leave his wife? You will always be his spare tire? He will be looking for you when something is wrong in his marriage. Of course he wants to be with you. No complaints, no responsibilities, good sex. But what happens when you give him everything? A kiss good bye, and he drop you out of his car and go home. Am I wrong?
2006-06-07 16:14:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not a coward. He doesn't want to divorce his wife. Don't believe it. I'm telling you, don't believe him. Get out while you can and don't even try to destroy his marriage, it WILL backfire on you.
2006-06-07 19:24:22 · answer #5 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never want to break up a marriage. He is still married for a reason...PERIOD! If he wants to be the one to end the marriage, let him be responsible for that.
2006-06-07 20:32:05 · answer #6 · answered by brattylatina69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't, if he really loves you he will leave his wife. True love is a hard thing to lose and if your are his true love he won't let that go, not for anyone in the world. Let him go if you can and if he really wants you he will come after you with out the baggage. Good Luck!
2006-06-07 16:14:51 · answer #7 · answered by alter_egob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't break up his marriage. he is using you, if he had to choose he would choose his wife over you. he already has since he has done nothing to end his marriage. have some self-respect and walk away
2006-06-07 16:19:19 · answer #8 · answered by justducky2972 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By dating him you are already on your way to possibly breaking up his marriage! Just remember what you do comes back to you, and someone might take the one you love!
2006-06-07 16:19:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!! Why would put yourself in a situation as "The Other Woman". Reverse the situation, would you like to hear or find out your husband has someone on the side? Does/do they have kids? Think of how you would be hurting them. If he hasn't told her, he's not going to.
2006-06-07 16:18:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋