I am married, with a blended family. My husband treats his children super nice and our children like chopped liver. His children come and go as they please. My husband ignores me or treats me like doggie-doo. Even my friends notice. He’s even been angry and/or drunk at times, making me scared of him. He’s not a total louse. I’m not a perfect wife either. He has a good job, is educated, does projects around the house, cooks, etc. He just seems basically like an unhappy person. IHe loves watching TV. He hates spending time with me and the other kids. TV is his life in the evening. he considers quality time watching TV with the kids. I have learned to HATE the TV! ’m an at-home mom with the kids. I’m educated and had a career. I guess I need to find a career and leave, but I don’t want to. Any advice?
2006-06-07 14:40:27 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You just need to look within yourself and decide what is best for you and your children! Your children are learning that this relationship is what it's suppost to be...and they may end up having relationships just like this one!
2006-06-07 14:44:35 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just would like to make it clear to you, after all, I don't want to take any work away from Dr. Phil. A louse is a louse, there is no such thing as a bit of a louse or, 'not a total louse', as you said.
With that out in the open, may I suggest that if you say he seems basically unhappy,. Well, guess what? You sound unhappy too!
Question is, do you want to live like that? Yes? Then you are fulfilling what you want to do. If your answer is no, then your only recourse is to make yourself happy. That would be, LEAVE the Little Louse!
2006-06-07 14:46:23 · answer #2 · answered by peppermint_paddy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
boy!.. this all sucks alright (and I'm in the same sorta sucky situation.. so I got a right to label it thus.) I totaly HATE the ******* t.v. My husband sounds worse than yours, honey! (I got him the rebound, a 'personal' ad.. I got dumped and had marriage plans/church rented & everything) so along comes 'Dave.' He's got a 5th grade education (says "we was" God do I hate bad English like that!) as I'm an English teacher of sorts.. (a sub.) He loves the 'travel channel' (His favorite show was 'best trailer parks in the United States.') Too cool, huh? He can't do **** around the house.. he works a factory job (33 years) and told me the other day he's 'giving our daughter' (he's only one) ALL his money when he croaks.. and I guess even tho I'm his wife I can't do anything about it (we'll see/ask a lawyer about that one.) He says his daughter is 'the onlyone that loves him' (she tells him and ME on occasion to 'shut the **** up' and other cute sayings.) I've NO friends to notice this asshole. He's basically an unhappy person as you say your guy is. I've 3 kids from an earlier marriage I was semi forced into (parents wanted me outta the house when I moved in after college I guess..) to a marijuana smokin asswipe. I thought 'Dave' would like the kids? not so! He only gives me 'change from Burger King' since he "can't trust me to NOT give it to the 3 older 'mooching' kids" I've got. (This suck enuff for ya yet? Jesus! It's the tip of the iceberg.. thanks for giving me the opp. to 'vent' by the way, honey.) I look around and I just think everyone ELSE in this small sucky town in Michigan has 'settled' too.. (or just is just as 'stuck' w/someone as I.) I get 'hit on' a lot because I'm a health nut and marathon run 3 mi a day and am good athletically.. BUT I can't cheat (I'm Catholic.) I know.. you know what to do (you answered yourself in the second to the last sentence.) You lack the courage to do so and I understand that. There are others in the same boat as you (me!) I don't drive (no license) and there are no real jobs here and I'm kept in virtual poverty and I DO understand how it gets to the point we're at! (I'm there..) It is nice to vent (or did I say that already?) Sorry.. just ran outta time on here.. (sigh) later g'luck (Hope someone else has some advice for ya.. I'm just 'comisserating.' lol) later- Melancholia
2006-06-07 14:51:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i take it your husband has been married before for a second i thought you was telling my life story ,my husband and i don't have children to gether but we both do from previous marriages his daughter comes around and you would think royalty just walked in my children are a different story he doesn't hardly speak to them as well as me ,he will goes days and not say a word to me and if he does its all criticism he doesn't drink any more but he use to bad but i wasn't scared of him my previous husband took the fear out of me but any way i no how you feel and its awful to feel you are only a live in maid for him and a stepping stone for him and his kids ,my husband never spends time with me even when he is here im still alone i cant tell you what to do because im in the same situation except my children are grown as well as his daughter leaving has been in my heart for a while now and that's probably where this will end
2006-06-07 14:53:50 · answer #4 · answered by sclady62001p 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why leave? Seems like you are free to do what you want, and he wouldn't even care. It sounds like you have a lot of kids to care to have a career. How about just making a life for yourself. Get a hobby, join a club. I bet once you are not around all the time he will start missing you, and even if he doesn't you are not wasting your life. Remember he is the one missing out. (Hmmmm I wonder why his first wife dumped him and what you saw in him in the first place)
2006-06-07 14:47:05 · answer #5 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you justifying him because he has a goood job, fixes things , and is educated look he seperates the children treats you like **** he drinks get angry and your scared of him sometimes we hold on to things that isnt there anymore because we feel like we ow the other you owe yourself to be happy dont be scared to step out on your own you are educated and have a careeer the most important thing is the children they probably are aware of his favoritism and th way he treats you dont let your children think this what amarriage is about because **** niot and dont say yousatayed fir the children if you stay its for your self god will carryyou further than youe husband did dont seny your self happines for someoneelses misery you deserve better and the only way to do that is believe your worth more than he thinks and if you leave and decide to go back go bacvk a changed woman than the one you left
2006-06-07 14:50:46 · answer #6 · answered by frances g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a career and leave him...He should not show any kind of favorites towards the kids in the household and she not not treat you the way he does either. Happiness is a joint effort and he should show you respect and love and spend time with you.
2006-06-07 21:08:02 · answer #7 · answered by amazincajn_99 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dang...then all that's left is talking to him...or live with the way things are
i'm sorry for you and hope things turn arround for you.
hey how about a project he'd like to do that involves the kids...like model rockets and kite flying ....it's a start ...??? i'm at a loss....if you want to chat sometime send me a hello
2006-06-07 14:45:50 · answer #8 · answered by m37734 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have your health and a career go back to it. This is a snowball rolling downhill, it will only pick up momentum with resentment that is sure to come.
2006-06-07 14:45:40 · answer #9 · answered by clbinmo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray that GOd works things out between you too . Ask God what you should do. Still be a wife and Pray that God works on your mate and turns him around.
2006-06-07 14:43:28 · answer #10 · answered by momof_12003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋