Would you rather loan people your money or your books?

Question

I have a bajillion books. They are EVERYWHERE. People who come to see me frequently want to borrow them. There is no way that I can hide them or conceal them. I do not want to loan them, as I seldom get them back.

People either keep them for months, or when I ask for my book back, I am told that the borrower loaned it to someone else!

What is a good way to politely refuse to loan one's books?

Answer 1

I would rather loan money, but only if the expectation is for them to never pay it back.. a gift when needed.. a blessing to give it. I have done this often when I was able to family and friends that I knew needed more than I did.

Books---I wouldn't loan them, and a polite way to say NO...I would say "I am so happy you like my personal library, it has taken me forever to built it, but the number one rule is they don't leave the library, you are welcome to come over and refer to them when you would like to, but they stay here"

Building your library with certain books that have meaning to you, is never the same for others that will read and appreciate books with the same thoughtfulness. I would definately let them know that the local library has X amount of copies for the borrowing, but your library isn't open for the public.

I wouldn't buy them a copy unless their birthday was coming up, but I would write down the title and author and then a few more suggested books that they may want to seek out as well. Then leave it up to them to seek out their own interest and maybe they will begin their own library from your inspiration, and NOT want to loans their books.. and will have you to thank for not being open to the public.

Answer 2

Books

Answer 3

I have been in that same situation countless times. I never loan money, but I will gift it since I don't expect to ever see it again. If it's a book I can part with I will give it to the person and tell them to pass along to someone else who can benefit from it. Otherwise, I politely explain that I don't loan books out. Depending on the circumstances, though, I might buy them a copy.

Surprisingly, I don't think people "expect" to get books returned. I returned several books to a friend and she equated it with termination of the friendship. She is still not completely over it and it's been a few years.

Answer 4

I won't loan either. I understand what you mean about the books. I have loaned them and never got them back and, as you said, had the borrower tell me they loaned it to someone else. How the heck do you loan something to someone that isnt yours in the first place. A paperback these days is a good 6 or 7 bucks and hardback books are expensive. I just flat tell people that I dont loan my books because I seldom get them back. Refer them to the library or a used book store.

Answer 5

Well, I would rather not loan anything, but between books and money, I would rather loan money. If you want to get your books back, then write a contract next time and get witnesses. If they don't return it in a set period of time, then they have to pay you a fine. It works with me, there was a time when people just borrowed my books for nearly a year without returning it. But for the time being, tell them that you need to re-arrange your books and you have to get all your books back before lending them out again. Oh right, if people damage your books in anyway, they'll just have to be fined too, take action quick before people borrow all your books and things really get out of hand!

Answer 6

I understand what you mean. I also have lots of books but I only loan them to a very few very special people who are just as careful as I am about them. The very few times when I did not apply this rule, my books got lost or ruined :-(
Most people will understand if you refuse to loan your books. Just tell them, without lies, stories or beating around the bush. You care for your books very much. Those who don't understand are probably the most "dangerous" borrowers!

Answer 7

I have the same problem. Every time I have lent a book out I have never gotten it back. Last time I loaned one out I had even told the person my bad experiences of doing so & she said "I would never do that [not give it back]."
Guess what? I did not get it back! It seems like the people that use the word "never" have it confused with "always".

Money or books, you just have to learn to say "no" firmly, because you seldom get either one back.

Answer 8

I have no money because I spend most of my extra money on books, and I DO NOT like to borrow them out because I usually do not get them back. When my friends ask I say another friend at work borrowed it or vice versa...I know that is bad, but books are expensive. The ones I do not collect (certain authors) I do donate.

Answer 9

I'd rather loan money. You never know what condition your book will come back in. Plus, people are more likely to return your money.

Tell them that one of your 'little quirks' is that you tend to beat the hell out of people that touch your books. But that you've only had a few assault charges *actually* filed against you. You're getting therapy, and are on pills, but the dosage is low and you've had two whole sessions so far, so it could be ok. Then ask 'do you want to be the first to see if my therapy is working?'

Answer 10

I would rather loan money. I know that sounds crazy, but a dollar is a dollar, a book means something more to me. If you don't want to loan out your books just tell people no. If they want to borrow make them go to a library.